skyvixen Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Hi, there. This is my inaugural post to the LoveShack forums. Yesterday, my soon-to-be ex and I told our children we were going to end our marriage after nearly 30 years. Our kids are 21 and 14, and surprisingly they did not cry. Both stated they thought it was coming. No one really cried except me. We assured them life would go on as usual, with the exception of he and I not being together. One half hour later, everyone was back to doing normal activities. He and I have no animosity, and we're not even hiring an attorney. He moved out of the state one year ago to pursue a new career, so maybe his absence helped the situation. Has anyone else ever had such a smooth transition? Is this the calm before the storm?
coaches24 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 No experience with this but it's possible it's the calm before the storm. Might take a little while to sink in. But it might help that there is no animosity. Does your soon to be ex see them much since he's moved out of state? I was 17 when my parents divorced. My dad left with a co worker and moved out of state. Soon after he stopped contacting me and I couldn't get ahold of him at the number I have him. 6 Months later of not hearing from him he called out of the blue to tell me he just got back from Hawaii for his honeymoon. He didnt invite me or my brother or anything even though we both had met and spent time with his new woman before they moved out of state. It was very hard on me because I really was closer to him than I was my mom but I chose to live with my mom because it was the only way I was going to be able to stay at the same HS for my senior year and I wanted to be with my friends. I now have no relationship with my dad at all and don't wish to anymore. Haven't spoken to him in 16 or 17 years now. So hopefully your Ex will remain involved in your kids lives and see and talk to them as much as possible. Whether they show it or not it will be hard on them and effect them. Hi, there. This is my inaugural post to the LoveShack forums. Yesterday, my soon-to-be ex and I told our children we were going to end our marriage after nearly 30 years. Our kids are 21 and 14, and surprisingly they did not cry. Both stated they thought it was coming. No one really cried except me. We assured them life would go on as usual, with the exception of he and I not being together. One half hour later, everyone was back to doing normal activities. He and I have no animosity, and we're not even hiring an attorney. He moved out of the state one year ago to pursue a new career, so maybe his absence helped the situation. Has anyone else ever had such a smooth transition? Is this the calm before the storm?
Author skyvixen Posted June 3, 2013 Author Posted June 3, 2013 Contact - both physical and otherwise - all the time. I am sorry for what you experienced. Sometimes I think I am too pollyanna, but I surely hope everything will remain smooth as it is now.
coaches24 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Contact - both physical and otherwise - all the time. I am sorry for what you experienced. Sometimes I think I am too pollyanna, but I surely hope everything will remain smooth as it is now. Thats good and I think will help them. And since he has already been living away for a year I would agree with you that it probably helps the transition. I would suggest just stay open with them and talk to them before making other changes like dating and such and hopefully your ex will do the same. In sure I don't have to say this but be there if they come to you with questions or concerns (esspecially the 14 yo). Watch them for changes in behavior and mood (can be hard to see with some 14 yos who often have natural mood swings just because of their age) as they might be having trouble coping but not want to or might not know how to communicate that to you.
Shocked Suzie Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Hi, there. This is my inaugural post to the LoveShack forums. Yesterday, my soon-to-be ex and I told our children we were going to end our marriage after nearly 30 years. Our kids are 21 and 14, and surprisingly they did not cry. Both stated they thought it was coming. No one really cried except me. We assured them life would go on as usual, with the exception of he and I not being together. One half hour later, everyone was back to doing normal activities. He and I have no animosity, and we're not even hiring an attorney. He moved out of the state one year ago to pursue a new career, so maybe his absence helped the situation. Has anyone else ever had such a smooth transition? Is this the calm before the storm? No but mine are younger and it was a total surprise to us all, plus my ex had an A and its all a bit messy ...if things have been rocky, the age of your kids..then they have probably known you guys weren't happy for some time... If you guys have fallen out of love and called it a day, there is hope that it will remain amicable...that will be great for your kids and you both i wouldn't stress to much over the smooth acceptance from the kids, just both show them love, attention and as much normality as possible all the best x
Mr. Lucky Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Contact - both physical and otherwise - all the time. If he moved out of state, how does he have physical contact "all the time" ??? Mr. Lucky
Author skyvixen Posted June 3, 2013 Author Posted June 3, 2013 Well - all the time may have been a liberal answer. 1-2 weekends per month he comes back to the house. Considering its 8 hours away that's pretty good. He had lost his job three years ago after 26 years. Tried for 1 year to find something but was unable. He moved pit of state for work exclusively.
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