ZhaoZilong5 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Me: 24 Her: 21 My ex-GF and I have been broken up for about a year. She dated somebody else during that time who was emotionally abusive, and it was a huge mess. She broke up with him two months ago and initiated no contact for good about a week ago. She said she needs time to heal and won't even consider another relationship for a long time. I'm perfectly fine with that, considering her best friend and I both agree that's the healthiest thing to do. Obviously, if I push her for a relationship like I have in the past, then it will stress her out. I'm always there for her, and we fall asleep talking to each other every night. She still likes me, etc., but she isn't ready. Her sexual interest has decreased dramatically since NC, so it seems like she's now finally dealing with and processing the transition. My question is, do I just continue sticking around and help her through this healing process with her best friend, or should I create some distance to make her miss me? We're most likely going on vacation together on friendly (ie. not bf/gf), in about two months. She doesn't want to make any promises about a relationship or anything since her break-up was rather recent, but knowing her, things probably look good for me. I still make her laugh, she's playful with me, and our interactions are pretty much like when we were together, minus the lovey-dovey and sexual aspects. Part of the reason is that she doesn't want people, especially me, to think she's just some slut for doing anything sexual with me so soon.
Jon Tenzo Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Create Distance. Court other women so you don't appear desperate if possible (not saying you have to have sex with them, just appear in public with other women). If the interest is there enough she will completely forget about the a-hole and jump into your arms. So it's more about conveying your worth and having that overshadow whatever her past is. That's the key to any new relationship after a breakup. Make sure you're registering as something "different". Simple as that.
Author ZhaoZilong5 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 How would I go about creating distance without seeming petulant? She's always the one who initiates contact.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 How would I go about creating distance without seeming petulant? She's always the one who initiates contact. You really need to stop worrying about how you "seem". That's why you are basically friendzoned in the first place. You don't owe her any explanation -- just be busy. 2
totallylost5040 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 be confident, initiate contact if you would like. but only if its sure of what you want
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