Pinky777 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Met an amazing guy through OLD about 2 months ago. We hit it off right away when we met and since then we've been on 4 dates, the last 3 of which have gotten really hot and heavy (but no sex). We have a lot in common and can talk about almost anything, and the sexual chemistry between us is crazy. I don't think I've ever been so attracted to someone like this in my entire life and he's all I can think about! And he came on very strong, at first, seemed very into me. The issue? He's a single dad currently going through a divorce and he doesn't have a lot of time to date, especially on the weekends, which is when he has his kids. He asked if we could take things slow and he'll have more time in the future...but our last date was now 3 weeks ago. He keeps saying he wants to see me, but the couple of times I tried to make plans he had to bail because different things came up, and he hasn't initiated anything at all as far as making plans. I've concluded that for whatever reason he's lost interest... He could be legitimately that busy, but even when a person's busy they'd try to schedule something for when they do have time, but there's nothing at all on the horizon. Yet he continues to text every day, mostly about day to day stuff. What's that about? I do enjoy talking to him and I know realistically that if we continue to go further it most likely wouldn't work right now, since he's not even divorced yet and doesn't seem to be in a hurry. I'm sure he's not looking for anything serious (no, we haven't had that talk yet, but I gather that from his actions). I don't know if he's seeing others. In the meantime I met another wonderful guy. He's great and all, but the trouble is I can't get my mind off the first guy (which is who I really want, but...). I feel like I should end things with the first guy but I'm not sure there's anything to end. And I don't want to just stop responding to his texts, because besides being rude, I do like talking to him and wouldn't mind keeping him as a friend. Since we have been on a few dates together, I feel like I should just let him know I'm moving on because he can't find the time to spend with me and that I've met someone else. My sister says to just stop responding to his texts and move on, no need for a talk unless he asks, things fizzled out and it happens all the time. Thoughts?
flitzanu Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Met an amazing guy through OLD about 2 months ago. We hit it off right away when we met and since then we've been on 4 dates, the last 3 of which have gotten really hot and heavy (but no sex). We have a lot in common and can talk about almost anything, and the sexual chemistry between us is crazy. I don't think I've ever been so attracted to someone like this in my entire life and he's all I can think about! And he came on very strong, at first, seemed very into me. The issue? He's a single dad currently going through a divorce and he doesn't have a lot of time to date, especially on the weekends, which is when he has his kids. He asked if we could take things slow and he'll have more time in the future...but our last date was now 3 weeks ago. He keeps saying he wants to see me, but the couple of times I tried to make plans he had to bail because different things came up, and he hasn't initiated anything at all as far as making plans. I've concluded that for whatever reason he's lost interest... He could be legitimately that busy, but even when a person's busy they'd try to schedule something for when they do have time, but there's nothing at all on the horizon. Yet he continues to text every day, mostly about day to day stuff. What's that about? I do enjoy talking to him and I know realistically that if we continue to go further it most likely wouldn't work right now, since he's not even divorced yet and doesn't seem to be in a hurry. I'm sure he's not looking for anything serious (no, we haven't had that talk yet, but I gather that from his actions). I don't know if he's seeing others. In the meantime I met another wonderful guy. He's great and all, but the trouble is I can't get my mind off the first guy (which is who I really want, but...). I feel like I should end things with the first guy but I'm not sure there's anything to end. And I don't want to just stop responding to his texts, because besides being rude, I do like talking to him and wouldn't mind keeping him as a friend. Since we have been on a few dates together, I feel like I should just let him know I'm moving on because he can't find the time to spend with me and that I've met someone else. My sister says to just stop responding to his texts and move on, no need for a talk unless he asks, things fizzled out and it happens all the time. Thoughts? or he isn't actually getting divorced, and simply lying to you so he can cheat on his wife. as for the new guy, if you don't have your mind into it, then it wouldn't be fair to him if you're constantly thinking about the married guy. but as for "breaking up" no, you went on 4 dates, and assumedly neither of you decided you were in a committed relationship, so you don't need to "break up".
Author Pinky777 Posted June 3, 2013 Author Posted June 3, 2013 Yeah, it feels weird "breaking up" since we only have been casually dating, I just wonder what the protocol is on that. It also feels wrong to just do the fade out. Since he hasn't planned anything further, it seems like he already ended whatever brief thing there was.
flitzanu Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 well, if you're friends, just be friends with him. no judgement...but he IS married. there's no future with that.
scorpio1978 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 I was in a similar situation and thought about just letting it go and not saying anything further, but every time my phone rang, I would think it was him and if a text popped up, I would think "maybe he is coming around" and he wasn't. It was torture. I had to end it. My situation was a little different in that his divorce was in progress and finalized a day or so before I sent the "Dear John" text. But, like you, he would not initiate much and there were no plans on the horizon, so I started to just get that "feeling". If you can just stop talking to him and not do what I did where you think every call is him, then that would work, but he may still send random texts about the day to day stuff and you're right, it is rude not to respond. I say make a clean break and have a conversation. I sent a text because I don't think a man who didn't make plans to see me or talk to me anymore would really care to have a conversation. I got no response back, but at least I knew the door was closed and I wasn't thinking about texts and calls being him. Sounds like the new guy is a better fit for you. Good luck with him.
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