Chase10 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Hey everyone, Sorry ahead of time for the length of this post. I just had to vent somewhere and see if anyone can take away anything from my story. Anyway, attending graduate school and met a great girl who was really driven, into the same stuff as me, etc. We really hit it off and the first two months we couldn't get enough of each other. However, she was my first real relationship and I didn't make it special/set up a lot of dates, so she slowly pulled away. I told her I would show her I really cared, and that I hadn't shown it because I was afraid of getting hurt. Anyway, we had a month break over Christmas but still talked. Second semester came and I took her on dates, we spent much more time together, etc. I took her on a trip and we told each other that we loved each other. She told all her friends that everything was amazing.. We talked about marriage and kids down the road - everything. I'd do little things like leave flowers on her car randomly. She told me she missed feeling like a little kid so near Easter I hid Easter eggs around her house with little presents and notes in each. She called me literally in tears because she was so excited. She'd make dinner and leave little notes to me.. everything was great. The only problem we had was she'd have a guy who'd text her a lot because he wanted to visit her (not friendly). She told him she was dating me and wasn't interested, but she also didn't stop him completely. She also went on a bachelorette weekend with her friends and had two guys (including the dude) try to kiss her. She told me about them and abhors cheating because her ex 4 years ago was cheating on her, so I wasn't worried about that. However I just felt she started to pull away some. She used to tell me I'm the first guy she's ever completely stopped talking to other guys for.. ie. she used to have one or two she'd keep in contact with in case she broke up with her past bfs. But the last 2 months she kept telling me how so and so guy sent her a cool pic or text, etc. Then about a month before she leaves for 3 weeks for a class abroad, she starts acting awkward and then says I make it awkward. She stopped being all over me and she would only barely peck a kiss. Finally she said she wasn't feeling the spark anymore and she just didn't feel like "jumping all over me" when we were alone anymore. She kinda phrased it like she just felt all the fun wasn't there. I gave her a week or so of not talking to her and she didn't seem to show being upset. I talked to her and told her I still loved her and I could tell she still cared for me. I said things I shouldn't have like I'd take a bullet for her without thinking, etc. She said she missed me, but it wasn't right. Finally, about a week before she left I saw her at a bar. She barely said hey and then started flirting with guys and then just looking at me. I ended up getting drunk and kissing a girl. The next morning she said she couldn't believe I would do that to her. I didn't mean to and I just decided to give her space After she got back from her trip, I reached out and told her I just want to have fun and let us see where things go. If she didn't want to try then it's fine, but I'd rather risk and love then not at all. I basically laid out my heart to her. All she said was that her heart says we're done. Since this was my first real relationship (we're both 26 btw), I just am floored how someone can go from want to spend the rest of their life with you to not interested anymore. She didn't leave me for a guy, but I just think she wanted the excitement of new possibilities. I've had so many girls say how dumb she was because they know I was a great boyfriend and frankly, they were jealous of her. It's also not like I let myself go- I've got a job lined up as a lawyer, I'm in shape and have never had problems attracting girls. Obviously I tried harder than her because I really felt like she was the one. I've never had someone actually challenge me so I went for it.. and maybe it backfired? Now this has just made me feel that no girl is worth it. I can't help but think everyone is completely fake and only care about themselves. Maybe I was just being a hopeless romantic and I deserved it. Any thoughts?
chinacat sunflower Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 It's crazy how a relationship with someone can be so heavy one minute and the next minute be completely non existent. I really don't understand it. If she's not into it anymore, there is nothing you can really do about it. It sucks. I'm sorry you are hurting right now. Just focus on your studies and leave her be. Time will heal. Good luck 1
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