How to Be Affectionate and Accommodating Without Losing Power

[fiftyofsomethin]

Hey guys,

 

A recent post on here had me thinking. Is it possible to actually be accommodating, be affectionate and make the girl feel very comfortable with you without seeming needy or without you losing power?

 

Because in my experience, which admittedly is not that expansive, I can EITHER be sort of withdrawn and not to eager which actually always gets me girls. (I have had four serious girlfriends in the last three years).

 

But, I noticed that in every one, it reaches a point where I just lose my power and become almost needy. When I start to become affectionate and try to make them feel comfortable, I always end up somehow coming off as needy or too eager and that is such a contrast to how I was when we started that they have always beent the one to leave. Of course they cite things like being too busy or "we just didn't feel the same way about each other" or "we weren't on the same leve" as their reasons, which translate into the reasons I have said.

 

I of course want to get to the point of sexual interaction and physical affection, but I don't want them to get the idea that the relationships are strictly non-sex. I have had both relationships that have just gotten nowhere and fizzled out because there was no spark or sex drive. Ever. And then when I sort of make an attempt to incorporate it, I come off as too eager and they leave.

 

So basically what my question is to all of you is: How do you keep the power in the relationship while also making the girl feel comfortable and be physically affectionate.

 

Maybe I am just not meant to get into a relationship that has physical affection. How depressing.