Introspection Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Okay, so here's my problem: There's this girl that I've had quite a bit of a crush on for about a year - from the moment I met her, I thought she was absolutely gorgeous, talented and amazing, and for the best part of six months, I could barely string two words together when talking with her (which resulted in several awkward situations, with blushing and babbling, and a total loss of self-confidence afterwards). I think we've also got a lot in common, and I thought there might be something there if I got over my nerves and we had a chance to talk. So, finally last month I offered to record her (we're both musicians), and I got to know her a little better. She's very nice, outgoing, and friendly, which makes it a bit difficult to tell if she's actually romantically interested or just being nice. Anyway, last week I finally mustered the courage and asked her out, to which she replied that she's 'seeing someone at the moment' and is pretty happy and doesn't want to stuff it up, but would be 'happy to have friendly catch ups'. However I have no idea if by that she meant she is: A. Seeing someone, but would have been interested otherwise, or... B. Not seeing someone, but saying that because she isn't interested and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. (Not that it would make any difference to the outcome in the near future either way.) I feel like I subconsciously put this girl on a pedestal and I think part of me viewed her as the girl of my dreams (I'm a bit of a soppy romantic), so I've been a bit down in the dumps since she turned me down. I know I shouldn't feel so emotionally invested in a girl that I really don't know extremely well, but I can't seem to get over her. Friends have told me to just 'play it cool' with her and see what happens, because I have no control over it and can't force 'the spark' to happen, but I think subconsciously I don't want to move on if there's any chance she might like me. I feel there's value in persistence. As Bob Marley said, 'If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. Truth is, everyone's going to hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for.' But simultaneously, I respect this girl's feelings as well, and if she genuinely doesn't like me or feel attracted to me, I don't want her to think of me as some creep that she can't get rid of. That'd be uncomfortable and degrading for both of us. So anyway, I went to one of her gigs on Friday, and another girl that I met a while ago was there, who is a friend of the first girl. Anyway, this second girl and I have great chemistry, lots in common, she gets my perverse sense of humour, is intelligent, fun, equally as gorgeous, also extremely talented and I had a great time hanging out with her. I get the feeling that she might actually like me back, too. In theory, I feel that if I had any common sense whatsoever, I would be asking Girl #2 out on a date instead of moping around in my room wondering why Girl #1 doesn't want to date me. But at the same time, I can't just turn off the feelings I have for Girl #1 that have been building up progressively over the past year. Even if it's just a crush. So right now, I feel completely emotionally confused and drained. I feel like there's some benefit to writing down everything and getting an objective opinion on the situation from complete strangers, which is why I'm posting this on here. So, what do you think? Cheers.
kassy Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Ask girl 2 out and see how it goes. You might find that after a date or two a bit of making out etc that girl 1 is a distant memory
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