Why is it so hard?!

[starlet86]

I had a very intense relationship with a co-worker for 5 months (not very long but it felt it.) We moved very quickly. Within days we had introduced each other to our children, moved in together and started planning our future. We were head over heels for each other. Then financial strain caught up with us. I was trying to deal with a bereavement and both our tempers were catching up with us and we decided it was too hard on me to continue with the relationship, although I would have liked to have tried.

 

We broke up, I moved out and we didn't speak. Then I found out some news which meant we had to speak. He was less than supportive to say the least and I felt completely abandoned by him. Eventually after coming to a decision I done what was right for all parties involved (he agreed completely, short of being delighted with my decision). Then he stopped speaking to me all together. We still worked closely together and it was a nightmare.

 

I deleted his number, his texts and just tried to get on with things. Then he texted me in work after I hadn't contacted him for days. He said he was sorry for everything and it was killing him to see me so sad, knowing he had done it. Somehow we started sex talking in text and I crazily agreed to meet him no strings attached. We would text normally in between the times I wasn't actually with him, but when we did briefly meet up there was no talking AT ALL.

 

We just done our thing, then I left. I think the only thing we said was "see you tomorrow." I was cool with that, although I am not sure why. Then he started changing with me. He would become passive in texts, not really take an interest in anything I said and wasn't really interested in hanging out either. I decided to tell him it was best for us not to speak. He said he didn't want that, that he was "happy to speak to me" and that he wanted "to be close to me because he cared about me."

 

I pushed for him to tell me why he wanted us to still speak and he said "because your a friend. Of course I still care about you and want you around" This guy had previously told me that when it is over, it's over, he doesn't do friends with his exes and he doesn't see the point in talking to them. Eventually I snapped and agreed to still speak to him. I had a few more questions, because I thought there might be someone else because of rumours, but after speaking to him those fears were put aside. The thing is, now I am trying to initiate no contact because I just don't see why he wants me around as a friend or anything at all. He says he hates it when we don't speak, but I don't really see why if he is over me and what we had.

 

Is there more to this? I don't know if I can deal with the weak answers. I know he has a lot on at the moment, most of the things that caused all the problems in our relationship and for him to change are now settling out and he is getting back to his normal self. Is he maybe keeping me on the loop so he can try for a reconciliation after everything is fully settled and he can be the person I met before? Or is he just liking the thought that if he decides he's horny he can come to me? We haven't seen each other outside of work in weeks and there has been no sexual talk or inclination of it between us for weeks now, so I don't think he's holding out hope of a booty call from me.

 

Please help because I feel I am playing some silly game I never agreed to. I just want to feel like me again. I am going insane and I know I will struggle with no contact unless I can try and get some insight in to why he has decided that out of all his exes I am the one he still wants in his life.

Edited June 2, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Added Paragraphs, please use them

[starlet86]

Any advice? Please. He has texted me twice today (I am trying to do no contact here) asking me if I am speaking to him, then "what's wrong are you not speaking to me and why?"

 

WHY DOES IT MATTER!?!?!?