JC90 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 A girl on PoF messaged me the other day, then we ended up chatting on Facebook. She lived close and we had mutual friends so I invited her over to my place the same night. She came over at around 10:30-11pm, laid next to me in my bed, and we watched a show on Netflix. I, however, didn't make any "move" on her. She left at about 12:30 in the morning and texted me "thanks for having me" afterward. Might my "behavior" have confused her?
daisybuchanan55 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Uh, YA. YA THINK???? That'd be one I'd DEFINITELY discuss with my friends at brunch. Guy invites me over, we lay in his bed, he tries nothing. WTF?! Someone would probably jokingly suggest he was gay. Yes, it's very confusing. In case I haven't made that clear. And btw, her follow-up text was out of sheer panic and confusion. If you like her invite her out for a REAL date and be a little affectionate! 1
Author JC90 Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 Uh, YA. YA THINK???? That'd be one I'd DEFINITELY discuss with my friends at brunch. Guy invites me over, we lay in his bed, he tries nothing. WTF?! Someone would probably jokingly suggest he was gay. Yes, it's very confusing. In case I haven't made that clear. And btw, her follow-up text was out of sheer panic and confusion. If you like her invite her out for a REAL date and be a little affectionate! Thanks for the honest response. What do you mean by "panic and confusion?" Why would she even send a text?
melodicintention Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 As a woman I would say not necessarily. She might think, wow is this guy an actual gentleman? I hear a few exist still out there..... 1
PogoStick Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Hard to say without knowing the conversation. She may not have wanted sex but probably would have been ok with at least making out. Or maybe sex.
starrynightz45 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Well, if that was the first time you met her, and she came over, she probably came over expecting a hook up. If a guy I had never met in person invited me over to his house the first time we were going to meet, I'd absolutely assume he was looking for sex. I don't think she left confused, but maybe surprised. She probably thinks you're a total gentleman now, maybe even interested in something stable/serious/ you're not a horn dog player.
lamaga Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 She thinks you are cute and wanted to make out. She didn't get to make out and thought you are not into her and that cracked her ego. The follow up text was what it implies - a follow up...to find out if she actually has a chance with you. I am saying this based on my own experiences suggesting that she is a similar girl like me. Because that has happened to me and I felt like the guy thought I was cute perhaps on pics and then didn't feel attracted to me in real life. Usually I got to make out with them on date two or three, so... you can still do it! Do it! Go on A REAL date though.
Author JC90 Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 I sent her a playful text in response saying "Yeah, it was fun. Pretty rude of you not to bring wine, though ;P" (we had talked about having wine but didn't) and she responded "lol sorry." Also just texted her today saying "hey." No response yet, but it's only been about 20 minutes. We'll see, I guess...
SoulSoldier Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 You shouldn't have just texted her hey. You should have texted her something that encouraged a reply (such as "hey, how are you doing today?"). And if you want to date her, I'd ask her ASAP if she would like to go out to dinner or do some other activity. Girls tend to really like it when the guy is proactive (not aggressive, but interested in moving things forward).
Author JC90 Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 You shouldn't have just texted her hey. You should have texted her something that encouraged a reply (such as "hey, how are you doing today?"). And if you want to date her, I'd ask her ASAP if she would like to go out to dinner or do some other activity. Girls tend to really like it when the guy is proactive (not aggressive, but interested in moving things forward). I figured "hey" would be easy to respond to. Guess not. She gave me her twitter when we last talked, so I decided to check it. She has several updates within the last couple hours, yet hasn't responded to my text. Guess she's not interested anymore.
shexy Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 I find it odd that she agreed to go to your house at 11 p.m. If you like her, ask her out on a real date, and don't just text the word 'hey'. I wouldn't respond to that either. I'm really kind of confused....are you and this girl really young? 1
Author JC90 Posted June 3, 2013 Author Posted June 3, 2013 She never responded to my text, but I talked to her on Facebook. Looks like she's pretty obviously not interested. ME: Hey *name*. Question... What's your favorite drink? HER: drink? alcoholic? ME: yeah HER: I don't really drink that much ME: Come on... Everyone has a go-to for when they go out. You ever tried a grateful dead? HER: why are you asking ME: I was gonna say we should have drinks sometime next week HER: ohhh ME: Plus you haven't lived till you've had a (good) grateful dead. It's like getting tipsy on Heaven HER: lol I'll check it out ME: So you down to have drinks? HER: umm idk! I'll let you know ME: Haha I won't be offended if you say you're not interested, hun. You can be straight up No response to that last line.
thatone Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Do not invite women to say 'no'. She came to your house to get laid, you turned her down. You might as well be on a different planet right now because she is completely turned off by being turned down.
Author JC90 Posted June 3, 2013 Author Posted June 3, 2013 Do not invite women to say 'no'. She came to your house to get laid, you turned her down. You might as well be on a different planet right now because she is completely turned off by being turned down. Women do to guys the same thing I did to her all the time. How come she's so upset about it? I'm sure she's done the same thing to several other guys.
happykat Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 umm yep.. she is definitely not interested... but so what? something is wrong with this one, I would bet my last $20 on it.
starrynightz45 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 If a female who you have NEVER met before and have only talked to BRIEFLY agrees to come over to your home and lay in bed with you, she is most likely not looking for a relationship, but to get laid. Normal women with self respect don't do this sort of thing. She either A. Believes YOU thought she was ugly/unattractive and that was why you didn't try to have sex with her B. That you're looking for something more serious, which isn't what a POF girl, who shows up at a stranger's home at 11pm, wants.
thatone Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Women do to guys the same thing I did to her all the time. How come she's so upset about it? I'm sure she's done the same thing to several other guys. Fear of rejection/insecurity. Which your actions brought to the forefront.
Author JC90 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Fear of rejection/insecurity. Which your actions brought to the forefront. So now she's deathly scared that I'll end up "rejecting" her again?
thatone Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Pretty much. Put yourself in her shoes. If a random woman from a dating site asked you to come to her place then denied you sex and ignored your presence, what would you think of her?
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