jcm101 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Damn, today at work (I do valet) so I was working a catering hall. I noticed a really cute new waitress there and failed multiple times approaching her. I even noticed her looking at me when I walked away. I guess I didn't "fail" as she was busy and so was I but just couldn't get myself to talk to her as there were others around her and I wanted to see her by myself so I can strike a convo. I work this place a lot and it was my first time seeing her, so next time def. I will talk to her. How do you get over this anxiety? I never have any trouble approaching in social scenes, though.
daisybuchanan55 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 You don't get over it, you just do it all the time until it becomes less nerve-wracking! Start striking up conversations with women in all settings, whether you're attracted to them or not, and soon you will feel more confident in your ability to succeed. The best way to strike up a convo with this particular lady would be, in my opinion, to wait until you see her carrying something (not hard since she's a waitress) and ask if she needs help opening a door or something. Just eeeeeaaaassssseeee your way in there. Good luck!!! 4
Author jcm101 Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 You don't get over it, you just do it all the time until it becomes less nerve-wracking! Start striking up conversations with women in all settings, whether you're attracted to them or not, and soon you will feel more confident in your ability to succeed. The best way to strike up a convo with this particular lady would be, in my opinion, to wait until you see her carrying something (not hard since she's a waitress) and ask if she needs help opening a door or something. Just eeeeeaaaassssseeee your way in there. Good luck!!! Thanks. Thing is, if I saw her by herself with no one around her, I would have no problem striking a convo and introducing myself. I just hate when other people are around because than it's just harder for me idk why but is. Im kicking myself here because I could have easily opened up with a "Are you new here?" and then go from there as it's my first time seeing her and pretty sure she was new.
daisybuchanan55 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 It's in the past, don't worry about it!! In FACT, if I were in her shoes and I saw a cute guy eyeing my but not saying anything, I'd probably be MORE intrigued than if he had just walked right up. Now she's wondering who you are and if you like her! You've upped your value in her eyes. Next time you see her don't bother introducing yourself formally. I am not a fan of this technique. I think it's much more natural to just comment on something around you, like "God, how are you wearing long sleeves? It's so hot out today!" As for other people being around, you probably won't believe me, but you should: 99% of people are so self-absorbed they are NOT thinking about you and what you're doing or watching your every move. Trust me. No one cares lol. 1
Author jcm101 Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 It's in the past, don't worry about it!! In FACT, if I were in her shoes and I saw a cute guy eyeing my but not saying anything, I'd probably be MORE intrigued than if he had just walked right up. Now she's wondering who you are and if you like her! You've upped your value in her eyes. Next time you see her don't bother introducing yourself formally. I am not a fan of this technique. I think it's much more natural to just comment on something around you, like "God, how are you wearing long sleeves? It's so hot out today!" As for other people being around, you probably won't believe me, but you should: 99% of people are so self-absorbed they are NOT thinking about you and what you're doing or watching your every move. Trust me. No one cares lol. Yeah, I was going to make a comment like that but didn't lol. Next time I def. will.
TheGuard13 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Here's a trick I use. I learned it from acting. The best actors and singers in the world still get "nerves". Not nervous, but nerves...a sort of shaky energy. So don't think of it as anxiety...think of it as adrelanine...as energy. And then ride the wave of that energy. Use it to come across as more energetic and interesting. 1
Author jcm101 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 So im working at same place this weekend. Really hoping she's working. Thing is, she's a waitress and I really only "run" into them or when im getting something in the kitchen so it's kind of hard to get a convo going. My best chance is to catch her leaving in the lot. How should I go about this?
todreaminblue Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 So im working at same place this weekend. Really hoping she's working. Thing is, she's a waitress and I really only "run" into them or when im getting something in the kitchen so it's kind of hard to get a convo going. My best chance is to catch her leaving in the lot. How should I go about this? walk up to her........if she smiles at you she is receptive remember that.......women are not demons........if they smile....they dont want to eat you......she is probably just like you....only female..i second just ease in there.....try and strike up a conversation abotu a common interest if you know one that is....deb
Author jcm101 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 I guess i'll just make a comment on something random lol.
StanMusial Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I guess i'll just make a comment on something random lol. "Whew, sure is hot in here. Hey, what are you bitches doing after this?"
Jon Tenzo Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 OK this is going to sound crazy but bear with me here. You have to concentrate your Qi energy until you envision your force field become solid as a rock. I also advise channeling a tortoise spirit. The way you do this is you have to simply envision the tortoise's movement (or obviously lack thereof) and act as if you are him mentally, but not physically. I highly advise watching some sort of video featuring the turtle in it's natural habitat so you have something to image off of. Do this for 5 minutes. What you can do is on a smoke break go into a bathroom stall, sit and meditate. Then come out of the bathroom and approach her. The goal is to increase your presence and aura to the point of where it introduces you before you even have to say anything. When you increase your presence like this even when you are behind someone they will "feel" you are there and turn around. Not bull**** I promise! But it will require a lot of practice.
apple OR orange Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 This is super easy... dont talk to anyone and remain single talk to people and maybe get your heart ripped out and live with it. Your choice, personally i am happy to never find out what "might" happen and spend my time / money of stuff i want.
Author jcm101 Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Still thinking about how to start something if she is in fact working tomorrow. I'm still stressing over this.
Jon Tenzo Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Still thinking about how to start something if she is in fact working tomorrow. I'm still stressing over this. The reason you are still stressing is you STILL haven't tried my meditation technique.
Author jcm101 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Posted June 16, 2013 So I saw her when I was grabbing a drink and she did too at same time. I just smiled and something about the party and if it was busy or w/e just trying to start a convo. She replied but with that tone when you know a chick is just not interested in talking or anything. No question back or long response or anything. Oh well, glad I did! On to the next one.
Author jcm101 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Posted June 17, 2013 Should I even try talking to her again next time? I probably won't as I didn't like how she responded and she just didn't seem interested in talking to me.
Recommended Posts