turnerik Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 So if you have read my posts, I'm obsessed with my ex, It's been about 2 1/2 months since she broke up with me. She hasn't really been responding to my texts, at least the last two, like two weeks apart. Yesterday I got a snapchat from her, my heart raced as I opened it. It was just her friend taking a picture of herself, I was with my friend, so I sent the one of him back. So next week I'm going up north, I'm thinking of asking this girl out over facebook (not my ex) I've never spoke with this girl, she is just a random person from my high school who added me a long time ago. For some reason I like this girl, even though I have never spoken to her. So I'm thinking of sending her a message telling her I like her, and would be interested in going out on a date. I'm going to give her my number, tell her if she is interested text me, but I won't be able to respond to her until I get back on Sunday. I think part of me is doing this, so when im out camping by myself I can terrorize myself over if this girl will respond, instead of what my ex is doing. If this girl says yes, that would be great, maybe it will work out, and I can find someone better, or maybe just us going out with her will give me confidence, or maybe once the ex finds out I'm going out, she will be afraid of losing me for good. Honestly I really want my ex back. I made mistakes, I know what I did wrong ( no cheating or anything really bad, just insecure and very clingy) I have worked on myself, and I know how to make it work with us, I pray about everyday I can get a second chance, because I know we can make it work, and I won't screw up my chance if I get it. Any Advice on anything I posted would be great. ( Didn't know what category to put this in, Sorry)
Lc1984 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Hi Turnerik, I really related to your post because I've felt the same in the past with relationships. What I can absolutely tell you is seeing or contacting one person to switch your thought from another person is not the way to go. It probably will distract you for a while but I think you need to look at what's going on for you. I'm not a therapist, dr etc but from what you said it sounds like you don't feel you're good enough and by trying to get another girl to see you you're almost trying to get the validation that you are. Again, that might work but that fix is only temporary. It sounds like with your ex, it's not that you want her, it's like you're addicted to her. When we get that way we often let other parts of ourselves go, we enmesh ourselves in that person and lose all sense of self. We stop working out, eating right, seeing our friends just basic self care. If you can think of 10 valid reasons of why you want your ex back and they relate specifically to her, not just 'I love her' or 'I want her back', then maybe your feelings are really about her but from experience I think you're looking for something to fix you when you need to be looking at yourself to do that. I'm sorry that this isn't a specific answer and no offence is meant at all. Maybe look on the Internet to have a look about addictions to people. It may help not just with now but with your future relationships. I wish you all the best
totallylost5040 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Hey there, I know how you feel but it hasn't been that long for me. First off, stop texting and calling, its only going to push her further away. If you even want a shot of having a chance at our ex, you have to figure out what went wrong first. If she said you were too clingy and overwhelming the first time around (that's a signal that you shouldn't be too clingy/needy AFTER the break up because it'll just send the message that you haven't changed. Just give her some space man, and in THIS situation, you NEED to give her space since space is the thing that you didn't give her in the first place. Trust me I know, I just went through the SAME thing. Give her a little bit of space, however long it takes for you to send a civilized text back (btw, not expecting anything works better too) In this case since you were contacting her constantly after you broke up, then just give it some time. Patience is the key, work on yourself, be the person she liked in the first place yah? After you feel that you've somewhat got over it, then contact her. small talk. then gradually, slowly invite her to something. Don't just throw the haymaker right away, that's what she got scared of in the first place. I know its hard, I fight everyday to NOT think about this girl, believe me its harder than it seems, just put yourself in her shoes if you ever get conflicted on what to do. She told you she wanted some healthy distance, then give it to her. If you have ANYTHING else or questions, feel free to ask man. Giving some advice is therapy for myself as well.
Recommended Posts