Adele0908 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 So, I started dating this guy last summer and I always had the issue of him not planning dates or outings. Every guy before him that I dated was always the one planning dates and activities, so I've rarely had to put myself out there and ask. But my current guy is very different from the guys I dated before. He's not sensitive or emotional or relationship-oriented. This has been an issue that I just could not figure out, and it actually has taken me a very long time to come to a simple realization. I never invite him anywhere. I've gone to parties, birthday dinners, and hung out with family and friends and never invited him. Because last year when we first started dating I invited him to a wedding reception, first he said yes, and then he changed his mind, and since then I never bothered to invite him anywhere else. Even though i knew why he didn't want to go, somehow that rejection got seared in my brain and I just didn't invite him anywhere after that. I even planned my birthday dinner and didn't invite him. and he asked me why I didn't invite him, and I didn't have an answer. This is very odd to me that I've been acting like this. Granted, I'm a graduate student and I get busy during the semester but even in my free time I don't think to invite him anywhere. So I told myself that I would invite him to the next event that I go to and I actually started tearing up! I think I hate being vulnerable. I never had to be before. If i ask him to come somewhere with me there is this irrational fear in my body that he won't go and I'll look foolish. It's like a huge light bulb went off and i can't believe how many opportunities I may have missed because I didn't invite him. I can't believe he has stuck around this long. I'm kind of embarrassed. Just needed to get this off my chest. Can anyone else relate? 1
apple OR orange Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 somehow that rejection got seared in my brain DING and this is THE main reason most guys wont ask women out, that same feeling you have 20 times worse over there own body and person.. "hi, would you like to go out with me" "oooo, no sorry, someone will though once day in the next 50 years" = god i was rejected, she didnt even want to do sex with me, i am worthless. Absolute perfect example of what really happens So i could used the same excuse all your women give use guys to "get over it", ignore it, some do that, just keep asking him, even though it will burn in to your brain more, its fine, the more you do it then less you feel it", yeah, cos that kinda logic makes perfect sense!
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