Almost done?

[McDonald]

Hey LS

 

Damn its been 6 months now since the BU? A half a year!? what is this Sh*t. What a waste of my time. No LS isnt a waist of my time, Im talking about the breakup drama and stuff.

 

Well theres two weeks left of school. I have been doing alright. Suddenly thouhg, Ive been getting a little down. maybe its because After this school year, I know it will be completely done. She has someone else. Shes had someone else since we broke up, and it sucks. It sucks that I havent had anyone else. No ONS, no relationships, causual hookups with no sex, but thats it.

 

my ex's old roomate came back to visit the school today, she left after the first quarter. We hung out a bit. kinda weird as the last time we were together I was with my ex. She said she texted my ex earlier, but never got a response. They havent talked in awhile.

 

it seems my ex just has a new life while Im kinda stuck in mine.

 

IDK where Im getting at with this. Im pretty much over it, kinda? Like I dont want to be over it?--- because then what? Seems like simple psychology.. yo u want to stay with the thing you are used too, which at this point would be the breakup. Thats what Im used too.

[BustedUpInside]

Change is hard! Especially when you have to be the one to initiate it. It's scary because what if the change causes you to be worse off than you are right now. Even if the present is bad, at least it is a familiar bad.

 

Just try it! I bet you never thought you would feel better after the break up, and now look. 6 months later and you can think and talk about your ex again. You can think about being with other girls, not just for ONS, but for actual relationships.

 

Like I said before, change is difficult, but you really have nothing to lose by trying some new things in your life. I think it will probably actually make your future significantly better. Good luck!!

[na49]

The BU has been your life since it happened. I think you need to stop fighting with yourself over this though. You have had a new life since the BU. It might not be the life you wanted, but it is a life. It isn't a life of love, sex, and magic. but why does it have to be? Why can't it be a life of casual hookups, your bros, the gym, and whatever the hell else you're up to?

 

I'd imagine hanging out with your ex's roommate sucked, but you are hanging out with girls no? Why do you need to be dating someone right now? I remember reading something in a book that my therapist gave me which said "The ones who are able to be single are ready for marriage" Now obviously you're not trying to get married right now, so replace the word marriage with relationship. Same sh*t really.

 

You're doing much better than you think you are. You just need to be reminded of that every now and then.

[McDonald]

@bustedup I do need to try new things. I mean, its the perfect time too. Just, trying new things, creating more change seems.. scary? As in, Im nots ure of the outcome. As I have realized from all those.. I dont really like change that much lol. Its unconformable. You build yourself up to be something, as i did my first year in college last year: Got into the fraternity house I wanted to join, got my first evergirlfriend, etc. Now this year.. I lost my GF, my fraternity is closing down etc.

 

So I guess as some doors close, others open. But, opening that new door is scary, exciting, its making me anxious, nervous.

 

@na Yea I have been meeting tons of girls and stuff. Just, Its taking a lot longer then I assumed. I thought by now I would be COMPLETELY done. Guess not. Im also upset I havent been able to get to how I was before the RS. I had many girls I could talk to, hit up on weekend nights, slowly getting there, but its not as fulfilling as before.

I do have to take it easy on myself though. I am extremely hard on myself when I dont go out on a weekend night. I feel like im failing if I dont hookup with a girl... dumb stuff I know, but this is the stuff thats bothering me. Its a self esteem thing I guess.

[BLo7687]

I'm in the same boat. It's been almost half a year and I'm like really it's been that long already? It definitely feels like it hasn't been that long. I felt like I've wasted time too. My ex moved on pretty quick with someone else after the BU as well. For the past months I've had a bunch of meaningless rebounds/flings, guys I'm not interested in or guys that won't make the effort. I guess it doesn't help that I'm selective and picky. I don't jump from relationship to relationship. I'm the type of person that needs to get to know someone first and at least be able to trust that person before jumping into something quick. Or maybe I shouldn't even be worrying about guys at the moment? I definitely need to make some changes soon. Get a new activity or go back to school for my masters. Focus on my future. And maybe along the way I'll meet someone again.

[McDonald]

I'm in the same boat. It's been almost half a year and I'm like really it's been that long already? It definitely feels like it hasn't been that long. I felt like I've wasted time too. My ex moved on pretty quick with someone else after the BU as well. For the past months I've had a bunch of meaningless rebounds/flings, guys I'm not interested in or guys that won't make the effort. I guess it doesn't help that I'm selective and picky. I don't jump from relationship to relationship. I'm the type of person that needs to get to know someone first and at least be able to trust that person before jumping into something quick. Or maybe I shouldn't even be worrying about guys at the moment? I definitely need to make some changes soon. Get a new activity or go back to school for my masters. Focus on my future. And maybe along the way I'll meet someone again.

 

 

Thats exactly how I feel.

 

Im really selective and picky. Seems like it has gotten worse since the breakup. MAybe because Im more defensive now.. dont want to get hurt again... I may be comparing too much as well. Like oh this girl isnt as good looking as my ex. or these jokes arnt the same.

 

its not fair for myself, and for the other girls.

 

I have been doing everything I wanted to do since the BU... im not sure what else I can do to become.. 'happier'? I hate to say it, but I feel like only a new girl will do the trick.

[McDonald]

Well I hate bumping old threads... but I dont feel like I should start a new one.

 

So--- theres one week left of school before I go back home. This is finals week, the msot stressfull week out of the whole quarter...

 

Its a bitter sweet feeling, as the school year comes to a close, the emotions start coming back.

 

I feel like I waisted so much of my time, so much of my school year over this dumb breakup.

 

And guess what.. as I walk to starbucks today... There she is, walking towards me. So I stop, turn around and go the other way. I know she saw me... and I just couldnt engage in a "hi" at this time. I need to study, it would have led me on a 5 hour journey of questioning myself lkike always.

 

So I avoided the confrontation. i probably wont see her again, I probably wont talk to her after this years over. Next school year I will be compeltely over it. Im just a little sad again thats its really over.. maybe these past 5 months I have been carrying a little false hope of I hope she texts.. but I see that will not happen.

 

I guess just keep going foward. Theres no where else to go. I thought I was more over it then I really am. Or maybe i really am over it.. and this is jsut normal, immature, college break up stuff.

Edited June 10, 2013 by McDonald

[McDonald]

Late night studying leads to late night thinking.

 

Why am I having thoughts that I haven't had in 5 months? Like, why would she leave type thoughts. The thoughts that try to figure things out. That try to put the pieces together.

 

Like why would she by plane tickets to see me durin winter break, be excited about it, then three days later breakup with me?

 

These are really not progressive thoughts. Talk about interfering with your growth insuring the recovery phase.

 

Heck I'm done recovering. Right? I'm over the breakup now. Right? Sometimes I am. Other times I get jealous of the new bf. but that's

Normal bu stuff right? He'll I have finals then I'm gone for the summer. But not has this thing gone on long enough. All it took was one trigger. One almost run in that fired this bullet into my head again.

[McDonald]

okay now this thread has become kinda of a place to just say things....

But I guess deep down I was hoping she would text at least sometime this quarter... but now as the year ends and i go back home.. I can see thats not happening. I think that is what this is about.