tinker683 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 (edited) Hello all, This morning I had a bit of an epiphany: My anger is fading. I'm feeling safe now, like I've achieved some sense of equilibrium and I haven't had this feeling in a while. I mean the memories surface every now and then but I find myself pushing them away and retreating further into my shell where I feel safe. It's like when you've seen a commercial for the 800th time and you just zone out rather than invest any energy into concentrating on it. Once I'm there, I'm ok, and I even start to hope again about falling in love once more.... ....but the idea is frightening to me. The idea of putting myself outside feels overwhelming. Right now my goal is to stay in my little corner of the universe and just be happy. I feel like I've achieved some sense of balance and I don't want to ruin it. Like I'm sitting on a still pond and if I move in even the slightest direction, chaos will ensue. My question for this thread is: is this a normal part of the process, these feelings? It's like my angry is slowly slipping away...and now I just feel sad. Not like an angry, angsty sad or anything like that but more of a quiet, cool emptiness. I feel like this is a step in the right direction, I'm just curious to everyone else's thoughts... Does that make sense? Edited June 2, 2013 by tinker683 1
BustedUpInside Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Hello all, This morning I had a bit of an epiphany: My anger is fading. I'm feeling safe now, like I've achieved some sense of equilibrium and I haven't had this feeling in a while. I mean the memories surface every now and then but I find myself pushing them away and retreating further into my shell where I feel safe. It's like when you've seen a commercial for the 800th time and you just zone out rather than invest any energy into concentrating on it. Once I'm there, I'm ok, and I even start to hope again about falling in love once more.... ....but the idea is frightening to me. The idea of putting myself outside feels overwhelming. Right now my goal is to stay in my little corner of the universe and just be happy. I feel like I've achieved some sense of balance and I don't want to ruin it. Like I'm sitting on a still pond and if I move in even the slightest direction, chaos will ensue. My question for this thread is: is this a normal part of the process, these feelings? It's like my angry is slowly slipping away...and now I just feel sad. Not like an angry, angsty sad or anything like that but more of a quiet, cool emptiness. I feel like this is a step in the right direction, I'm just curious to everyone else's thoughts... Does that make sense? Yes, it sounds like you are experiencing depression and acceptance at the same time. You just have to be patient with yourself. You have already overcome the worst part of the aftermath of a break up. That is something that deserves to be celebrated. Don't push yourself into dating someone specific, but maybe you could just put it out there that you are kind of ready to maybe start thinking about possibly dating if the right person just happens to come along. What I did first was just to tell friends that I was kind of looking, and you wouldn't believe how many of them had someone that they wanted to set me up with. You could also make some dating profiles. You don't actually have to go on any dates, but you could just see what is out there. Your feelings are totally normal and I have gone through them myself at times. Good luck with getting back out there and hopefully you just continue to feel better and better!
Author tinker683 Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 Yes, it sounds like you are experiencing depression and acceptance at the same time. You just have to be patient with yourself. You have already overcome the worst part of the aftermath of a break up. That is something that deserves to be celebrated. Hmm...I hope so. I realized I've gotten so comfortable being in pain, being angry all the time that now that it's just becoming so tiresome to focus on that...it's a little scary, it's different and that's unsettling (albeit pleasant) Don't push yourself into dating someone specific, but maybe you could just put it out there that you are kind of ready to maybe start thinking about possibly dating if the right person just happens to come along. What I did first was just to tell friends that I was kind of looking, and you wouldn't believe how many of them had someone that they wanted to set me up with. You could also make some dating profiles. You don't actually have to go on any dates, but you could just see what is out there. I made one on plenty of fish but truthfully...I'd like a companion but I also feel like I'm now starting to rediscover myself and I'd like to cultivate that a little bit Your feelings are totally normal and I have gone through them myself at times. Good luck with getting back out there and hopefully you just continue to feel better and better! Thanks, me too! I mean, I'm not out of the woods yet...but I can feel myself getting there and I'm just curious to see where I am on this particular path. 1
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