nomoreshallwepart Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 (You can read my story here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/391909-too-serious-relationship-she-got-back-her-ex) After a month of NC we bumped into each other with my ex. We didn't talk much, but she said that we will meet after the weekend. Yesterday I've sent her an e-mail telling that I don't want to meet her and as long I have my feelings for her I'd like to keep my distance as I can't and won't be "just a friend" while she is in a relationship with a man she cheated on me with. Today she sent me a response being basically a one big guilt trip: I never listened to what she was saying, I made her lose her 'old self' and become someone else, it's not fair that I don't understand her decision concerning the break up. Still scratching my head in disbelief right now.
CelticGibson Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Breadcrumbs.... Ignore it. She's projecting the blame for your break up on to you. It's all your fault she just had to go with this new guy. It's all your fault that she had changed while in a relationship with you. It's your fault that you can't understand just why she had to break up with you. Nothing is her fault. She's a cheater and doesn't deserve any more of your precious time filled with thoughts of doubt. Stop all contact with her and go No Contact.... For your own sake. 4
na49 Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Yup she's guilty and she's using you to help relieve her guilt. She realizes what she did is wrong and if you hate her/are mad at her/don't want to be her friend, that means that she's the bad guy. She doesn't want to be the bad guy which is why she's pulling this crap. 3
BustedUpInside Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I know this isn't really helpful, but she sounds like a total B! 2
Foreverandalwaysxo Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Well it's obvious it wasn't your fault you guys broke up... Shes just blaming you because she feels guilty. She cheated! No one should ever cheat, if you're unhappy then break up. She obviously doesn't have a heart. You shouldn't even waste your time on her. 1
Author nomoreshallwepart Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 I know this isn't really helpful, but she sounds like a total B! Normally I'd say she isn't, but after that mail of hers I'm really not sure. If that's her 'old self' that she was so regretful to lose while we were together, then I'm starting to think I really dodged a bullet here. 2
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Urgh, she sounds like a jerk. Stay the course. She can't have everything, when a relationship busts up, we have choices to make and we lose things. Stick with NC, you don't owe her anything. I'd block her emails as well, so she can't mindf--k with you. Good luck, you're doing the right thing. How dare she be so insensitive! 1
TaraMaiden Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 nomoreshallwepart, I take it you've read the no Contact thread in my signature....? Yes, what she's doing is 'projecting'... foisting all the blame of why SHE broke up with you/cheated on you - onto your shoulders. Notice how she comes up with all this schytt AFTER the event...? Would it not have been a better strategy to perhaps have discussed this with you BEFORE she splayed her legs for another dick....? Ya'd think!! 1
Author nomoreshallwepart Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 Urgh, she sounds like a jerk. Stay the course. She can't have everything, when a relationship busts up, we have choices to make and we lose things. Stick with NC, you don't owe her anything. I'd block her emails as well, so she can't mindf--k with you. That's about the mindset I'm in right now. She knew I was always afraid that she'll leave me and that it would be for that guy - so basically she made my worst nightmare came true, but still wants to string me along as a 'friend'. Talk about problems with empathy. nomoreshallwepart, I take it you've read the no Contact thread in my signature....? Yes, what she's doing is 'projecting'... foisting all the blame of why SHE broke up with you/cheated on you - onto your shoulders. Notice how she comes up with all this schytt AFTER the event...? Would it not have been a better strategy to perhaps have discussed this with you BEFORE she splayed her legs for another dick....? Yes, I have read it, thanks. I like what you say about talking the things through AFTER the event - I was thinking about all the reasons for break up that she has given to me and there was not a single thing that couldn't just be talked through. But I guess she just has to make up those rationalizations at least as long as her new relationship seems to work.
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