Scangie Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 I need some advice: I have been dating a guy for several weeks now, and we recently decided to be exclusive, which is great! Here's the problem -- I just got an offer for my dream job a couple of days ago, which is great, too, but the job is several states away. The job won't start until summer, 2005, so there is still plenty of time for a relationship to grow between my new bf and I. The thing is, I think if he knows I am planning on a move in a few months, he will want to break it off now, since he is not able to move with his job & family situation, and he would want to avoid the eventual heartbreak (we both are big believers that LDRs don't work in the long run). From my perspective, I would be willing to give up the dream job if I thought that this relationship was "THE ONE" (I do have a good job now), but we haven't been together long enough for me to know whether he is it or not. So... do I go ahead and tell him about this development and risk him ending it because he can't see it working out? Do I tell him about it, but tell him I'd be willing to turn the job down if things progressed between us (I feel like that would be putting a lot of pressure into a new relationship)? Or do I wait it out for a few months, see how things are going between us & tell him in December or so? Would he be hurt that I hadn't told him about this big development in my life sooner (I know I would if the shoe was on the other foot)? AAAH!!! I don't see any good options. What do you think, Wise LoveShackers?
tanbark813 Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 That's a tough one, but the way I see it is this: No matter when you tell him, there's a chance he'll break it off. So no matter what there's a risk of heartbreak. That being said, if the heartbreak does happen, the sooner it is the less painful it will be. Also, if you put off telling him and he finds out later that you had known for months about the job offer, then you do run a pretty big risk of him resenting you for not telling him. IMHO, your best bet is to just be honest with him about it now. If things are going well, he's really into you, and he's a good guy, then chances are he'll want to give it a shot anyway.
red-rose-in-winter Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 I agree that you should tell him now instead of later. It will be just that more difficult to tell him later after the two of you have gotten closer. Plus, it will always be in the back of your mind bothering you how/when you are going to tell him. And you'd have to tell him EVENTUALLY....... And congratulations on the new job!!!
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