Mrlonelyone Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Life is a river. It just flows and takes what falls in where it will. To date you have to jump into that river then let it take you. Being in a relationship can either be a flotation device or an anchor around your neck. It can vary from time to time. Ideally each helps the other swim better. Too often one carries the other. In OLD I see many people who just dont' jump into the river. They aren't willing to meet or it seems messsage anyone. It's the same men and women on OKC for years, updating their profiles daily or weekly.
sillyanswer Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 In OLD I see many people who just dont' jump into the river. They aren't willing to meet or it seems messsage anyone. It's the same men and women on OKC for years, updating their profiles daily or weekly. Can I suggest that just because you see a stranger who is still on a dating site after a long time this does not necessarily mean that they aren't going on dates!
pcplod Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 So, Mrlonelyone, what have you been doing to message anyone on OKC? How many people have you messaged? How many didn't reply, how many replied saying "No thanks"? That way we can know exactly how much OLD sucks.
Veronica2025 Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Do they have to live in your immediate area or can they live further out? There are fun aspects to being single for now and I don't mean fooling around. I just left for a big trip recently with a friend. I didn't have to bring it to anyone's attention or ask whether they were okay with it. I just left after deciding for a few days.
apple OR orange Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 well, the question has to be asked why your not "jumping in the river" as your looking on dating sites OR did we find a tiny loophole where others "need" to date online which makes it still part of your "jumping in the river" thing. I look at it more "i am not contaminate by any of the river poluted water", gets abit shocking when asked "why are you still single", answer:"yeah i have managed to keep pure and single and not get pulled in to the bad way of life not being single does".
KatZee Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 In OLD I see many people who just dont' jump into the river. They aren't willing to meet or it seems messsage anyone. It's the same men and women on OKC for years, updating their profiles daily or weekly. Quit OLD. I've just read a really interesting article regarding OLD and what these big companies don't want you to know. (I'm talking about eHarmony, Match.com) If you're looking for a legit relationship, you would think it makes sense to hit the paid OLD right? Wrong. Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating « OkTrends Visit that link above and read it. But just a few bits of information: * 96.25% of dating profiles are dead. * There is a negative correlation between the number of messages a man sends per day to the reply rate he gets. The more messages you send, the worse response rate you get. * eHarmony fails at least 93.8% of the time Statistics are really not in your favor in regards to finding lasting love with OLD. Get out there the old fashioned way. Join singles events that happen at bars, get a few ice breakers, meet women. 1
Drseussgrrl Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Quit OLD. I've just read a really interesting article regarding OLD and what these big companies don't want you to know. (I'm talking about eHarmony, Match.com) If you're looking for a legit relationship, you would think it makes sense to hit the paid OLD right? Wrong. Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating « OkTrends Visit that link above and read it. But just a few bits of information: * 96.25% of dating profiles are dead. * There is a negative correlation between the number of messages a man sends per day to the reply rate he gets. The more messages you send, the worse response rate you get. * eHarmony fails at least 93.8% of the time Statistics are really not in your favor in regards to finding lasting love with OLD. Get out there the old fashioned way. Join singles events that happen at bars, get a few ice breakers, meet women. Well truth be told, I have one girlfriend who met her husband online - they were married within a year. Another one of my girlfriends just met her current bf on Match, and she couldn't be happier. I think it all boils down to luck, because I know they had to go on a lot of dud dates to hit the jackpot. It can and does work, but in my own personal experience the men I met have mostly been lazy types who keep wanting to drift in an out of my life because they're still not having success with it. I think my profile is still visible, so it could probably fall into the the "dead" category. I'm not subscribed though, it's just something I haven't thought about. The guy I'm dating now I used to work with though. Go figure. For me, I just don't have the patience or the thick skin to stick to OLD.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 I send messages to carefully selected people. I get responses. Never from the ones who's profiles really move me.
straightshooter82 Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 This is a perplexing topic as I've read that 20% of new relationships start online, and I personally have a friend from high school and a cousin who met their wives on eharmony and match, respectively. I've read from a fairly good source that it's estimated that over 40% of relationships will start online by 2015. On the other hand there seems to be a large number of people who claim OLD is awful and doesn't work for them. Men claim they never get responses from women they're interested in, and for women it seems like getting a date is easy, but the men just want sex or are not good enough, or whatever, idk I'm not a woman. So I guess the question is does OLD work only for lucky people or are the people who claim they aren't having much success simply setting their standards too high.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 This is a perplexing topic as I've read that 20% of new relationships start online, and I personally have a friend from high school and a cousin who met their wives on eharmony and match, respectively. I've read from a fairly good source that it's estimated that over 40% of relationships will start online by 2015. On the other hand there seems to be a large number of people who claim OLD is awful and doesn't work for them. Men claim they never get responses from women they're interested in, and for women it seems like getting a date is easy, but the men just want sex or are not good enough, or whatever, idk I'm not a woman. So I guess the question is does OLD work only for lucky people or are the people who claim they aren't having much success simply setting their standards too high. I require only that my partner be reasonably fit (not medically over/under weight by too much), have some post high school education, and be between 25 and 40. I don't think any of that is unreasonable.
soccerrprp Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Again, I must have been really lucky with OLD! I've met my fair share of ladies and none of them were insane, OCD, into drugs, or psychotic. I have especially had very good luck with EHarmony. Eh, to each his/her own...
pcplod Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I'll accept that OLD can suck, but what is the brilliant alternative? I'm not disagreeing with you, but on the other hand, all the usual alternatives aren't, in my opinion, any better. As I see it you either opt out altogether or just deal with the hand you are given, try to make it work for you as best you can, and otherwise trust to just a bit of luck.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Well truth be told, I have one girlfriend who met her husband online - they were married within a year. Another one of my girlfriends just met her current bf on Match, and she couldn't be happier. I think it all boils down to luck, because I know they had to go on a lot of dud dates to hit the jackpot. It can and does work, but in my own personal experience the men I met have mostly been lazy types who keep wanting to drift in an out of my life because they're still not having success with it. I think my profile is still visible, so it could probably fall into the the "dead" category. I'm not subscribed though, it's just something I haven't thought about. The guy I'm dating now I used to work with though. Go figure. For me, I just don't have the patience or the thick skin to stick to OLD. It's not about luck. Women are heavily favored in OLD. THEY will get a lot of dates. Not so for the vast majority of men. Comparing the two is like comparing apples to oranges.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 I'll accept that OLD can suck, but what is the brilliant alternative? I'm not disagreeing with you, but on the other hand, all the usual alternatives aren't, in my opinion, any better. As I see it you either opt out altogether or just deal with the hand you are given, try to make it work for you as best you can, and otherwise trust to just a bit of luck. Can't a person first vent?
SunsetRed Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I read your post Hanging out is the New Dating. I think that is true, esp w the younger generation. People will say they are "in a relationship" but they rarely see each other. Few people work a 9-5, M-F job where they date during evenings and weekends off. People work crazy hours, many people work 2 jobs and have other things on their plates, like school or kids and they do date by textng and postng FB status updates and they see each other when they see each other. How any relationship can go the distance these days is beyond me. As for OLD., once you date a few unstable people, you start to build up your protect me from the needy and the crazy walls and it becomes even harder to meet these strangers who leave messages in your inbox. 1
El Brujo Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Cluebat time! I've said it a zillion times already: the only people who really gain from OLD are the ones who run the websites. Forget OLD, find or start a meetup group in your area. If you won't do that, then IMO you want to be alone.
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