mcdo Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Haven't been here in ages. I've had no need to. Life has been good... brilliant in fact. Started thinking about my ex a lot yesterday, I've no idea why. We've been broken up 6 months, it's kinda time to REALLY forget about that stuff. I expected this kinda thing to happen eventually - there's still some processing of the details to do - but it's so long after the breakup that I'm surprised that it reared its ugly head now. Believe me when I say I've been having the absolute time of my life over the last few months. I really have. Went on holidays to Barcelona last week and just had the best experience a single 26 year old male could ever ask for. Anyway, it's not the "thinking about her" issue I have a problem with. I can deal with that and move on pretty quick these days. It's the fact that I SAW her last night. Out on the dancefloor. With a dude. Eating his face off. It hurt. A lot. First time I've seen her in 4 months. I really wish it was 4 flippin' years before I saw her again but unfortunately this is a small town and it was bound to happen quick enough. Really didn't want to bump into her like that. I think I handled myself well. I didn't go anywhere near her or her friends. I stuck with my group, even chatted to a few nice ladies!, and still just tried to have fun as if she wasn't there. I'm glad it didn't happen a few months ago because I would have crumbled in a bad way. I suppose it's a good measure of how far I've come since the breakup. Kinda hurting me today though... I've got these weird feelings of inadequacy and uselessness - as in, I was chatting to nice ladies and all, but I didn't seal any deal with any. And there's my ex just strolling into a place and grabbing the first guy she liked and being successful. That's a bit of a sore spot! I'll get by without any major problems I think - I've worked hard to build up a strong friends/family/self-confidence structure and to deal with issues like this. I guess this is the first REAL test. Apologies for the long post and the random rambling. Just gotta get it out there somewhere! 3
lovelifexx Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 You did well. Be proud on how far you've come along. Me and my ex broke up 6 months ago and I totally would have lost the plot if I saw that. You are strong. xx 3
BustedUpInside Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Wow, you should be really proud of how well you are doing. I don't know a lot of people who wouldn't have caused a huge scene during a moment like that. You actually managed to have fun with your friends and flirt with some women. That is amazing! Things like that will probably always hurt a little if you have to see them, but it will be less and less. Sounds like you are doing really well though, and I hope to have made that much progress by six months! 1
KPChick000 Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I'm so glad that my ex and I live in different cities! Good for you that you were able to keep your cool after seeing her like that. It's totally normal to be hurting a little after seeing her. I am having a similar day and I didn't even bump into my ex! (Last weekend I saw a picture of him and this girl he is seeing- guess I'm having a delayed reaction.) I understand the feelings of inadequacy. You can't help but compare sometimes. I used to think that I was a great catch, a better catch than he, honestly. The fact that he moved on first has gotten my self confidence plummeting. Keep doing what you're doing. This was just a test and you didn't fail! Sounds like you're almost there. 2
Author mcdo Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Thanks for the kind words guys. Yeah I guess it was a major test and I didn't fail, which I cannot say would have been the case a few months ago. Once I saw her me and my friends were discussing just leaving and going somewhere else and I actually just said no we'll stay, I needed to man up and just get on with it. And so I did. At least the weird inadequacy feelings went away. That following day was rough but it just so happened my whole family was getting together that day for an event. The ideal people to be around if you start to doubt yourself.
aloneinaz Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I also want to say I think you did great. The fact that you stayed there vs. leaving shows you are in fact close to being healed. My ex and I broke up too many times these past few months. On one of our 3 week breaks, I said screw it and started dating again. I pulled into my favorite bar where I met my ex for our first drink. I was there to meet a girl from an online site for the first time. As I was walking to the door, I saw my ex's car. I was in disbelief to see that she also was on a date. I called my date and asked where she was and changed locations. I didn't want to deal with that drama. 1
Chi townD Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Did she see you at all? I wondering if she just did that to rub it in your face. If this is the case, that was REALLY immature of her and you proved to be the better person in that situation. You're friends probably think you are the frickin BOSS!! It's REALLY good to hear you're doing well. I LOVE it when success stories come back here to tell their tale. How was Barcelona? I got back from Spain a couple of months ago but I didn't go there. And what's the next adventure gonna be? 1
Author mcdo Posted June 12, 2013 Author Posted June 12, 2013 No I don't think so Chi townD, at least I'm pretty sure she hadn't seen me before she was with the guy. She may have seen me later on in the night, I don't know. There was no contact between us anyway. I think my friends thought I handled it well. That night I partied with those guys late until the early hours and the incident didn't come up in conversation at all, even with all the drinks we had consumed. It'll be nice if I can go at least another 4 months without witnessing anything similar. And thanks, it feels great to be doing well. Pretty sure I've reached a point I was craving for a 4 or 5 months ago. And I hope some people stuck in the storm can have a read of this and take comfort in knowing NC does absolutely work and they should stick with it at all costs. Barcelona was unbelievable! Had a blast. Hit the clubs during the week and went to a music festival that weekend. Hope you had just as good a time on your trip to Spain. Funnily enough I do have more adventures planned, heading to Thailand with a few friends in August. That should be a pretty wild one I imagine. Good to hear from you again!
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