angelkiss2403 Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 I'm really confused...can anyone tell me how to walk away completely? I know that it is almost IMPOSSIBLE to remain friends...right now, we still talk all the time and hang out occasionally. He won't answer or text me back when he is with her...do i leave a voice mail? What do I say? We have gone through a lot together and we are best friends...how do i possibly do this? I do love him but I know that our relationship isnt going to go anywhere. Does anyone know???
Merin Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 Originally posted by angelkiss2403 I'm really confused...can anyone tell me how to walk away completely? I know that it is almost IMPOSSIBLE to remain friends...right now, we still talk all the time and hang out occasionally. He won't answer or text me back when he is with her...do i leave a voice mail? What do I say? We have gone through a lot together and we are best friends...how do i possibly do this? I do love him but I know that our relationship isnt going to go anywhere. Does anyone know??? Your Best Friends, but when he is with someone else he ignores you.. hmmm time to find a new best friend. Sorry.. but you really deserve to be with someone who is yours.. all yours. Walking away is difficult, but imagine the pain you might save yourself later.. stop text mssging him, don't call him, no voice mail, NOTHING. If he really loves you, and really wants to be with you and ONLY you, then let him take care of what he should anyway.. do the right thing for everyone involved and persue you when he ISN'T in a secondary relationship. Best Wishes
addie Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 it is very hard to walk away from someone who still makes you think you are in their life. they call, email, and meet you just enough to keep you hanging on, but not enough to satisfy you. what i have been doing is keeping all of the emails to and from, copying and pasting them, and in a different font and color, responding to what i said and to what he said with honesty. sometimes my responses are funny and they help me deal with the hurt. sometimes my responses are angry and i cry. but i always feel better disecting those emails, and it keeps me from sending/calling. i call it my email journal to save my sanity. good luck.
Author angelkiss2403 Posted October 6, 2004 Author Posted October 6, 2004 Ok, so the thing you are saying is that I have to just ignore him completely? I have tried that but it doesnt work. He gets all worried and thinks something happened to me. So then I call him to say I'm alright. This ignoring thing is not working. Should I just give him an ultimatum? But I know ultimatums dont usually work. I just don't know how to tackle this. I do care for him so much still...
Merin Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Originally posted by angelkiss2403 Ok, so the thing you are saying is that I have to just ignore him completely? I have tried that but it doesnt work. He gets all worried and thinks something happened to me. So then I call him to say I'm alright. This ignoring thing is not working. Should I just give him an ultimatum? But I know ultimatums dont usually work. I just don't know how to tackle this. I do care for him so much still... He gets all worried? When does he get all worried? He doesn't seem at all worried about taking your phone call when he is with his wife.. how does he know you're not calling to tell him something is wrong? OR something has happened? You need to be honest with yourself here.. because he isn't being honest with you OR his wife. The only behaviour you can control is your own.. Ignoring him isn't going to work unless it's what you want. That YOU'VE decided you deserve someone who cares about YOU ALL OF THE TIME. That worries for you ALL OF THE TIME. Not just when it's convienant for him.. that just isn't okay. You DO know how to tackle this.. the only thing standing in your way, is you. I wish you the best.
abyssalsmile Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Maybe you should try to make yourself be mad at him for all the times he was not with you. I did that once and it worked it was my fuel to burn and move on. I hated it and I also kept myself very busy. Obviously almost all MM will never leave the W just leave and find someone new someone who will aprreciat e you.
SoleMate Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 He may claim or appear to be, or even actually be "all worried", but that's HIS problem, not yours. Just to clarify things for him, I would send him ONE and ONLY ONE text message saying, "No more contact. Zero. Please. I will not respond." And then stick to it. And get real busy, real fast, with girlfriends, work, family, volunteering, working out, travel, feeding the homeless, writing poetry, whatever. Oh, and did I mention...block his phone numbers, block his email, block his AIM, block any means he has of contacting you. Then you won't have to feel your heart pound every time the phone rings...cause you KNOW it won't be him.
Author angelkiss2403 Posted October 7, 2004 Author Posted October 7, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 The only behaviour you can control is your own.. Ignoring him isn't going to work unless it's what you want. That YOU'VE decided you deserve someone who cares about YOU ALL OF THE TIME. That worries for you ALL OF THE TIME. Not just when it's convienant for him.. that just isn't okay. You DO know how to tackle this.. the only thing standing in your way, is you. Everytime I come on here, I gain more confidence that I can just let go and walk away. Merin...thank you, it is honestly your bluntness that gets me to the bone. When I read that, I was like, wow how am I actually accepting of this from a man?? I mean, I have always had great confidence, thats not the problem, I just have a huge heart that falls in love too easily. Falling for this guy was probably the biggest mistake I could have done. But, you are sooooo right, I do deserve better and I am really finding myself almost gone from the sad feelings to now being just P*SSED... at him and myself. Originally posted by SoleMate Just to clarify things for him, I would send him ONE and ONLY ONE text message saying, "No more contact. Zero. Please. I will not respond." And then stick to it. And get real busy, real fast, with girlfriends, work, family, volunteering, working out, travel, feeding the homeless, writing poetry, whatever. Oh, and did I mention...block his phone numbers, block his email, block his AIM, block any means he has of contacting you. Then you won't have to feel your heart pound every time the phone rings...cause you KNOW it won't be him. Also, SoleMate...just so you know, LOVED your advice! Maybe it is how you said it, I dont know, but it gave me this weird sudden inspiration. I know that is what I have to do...I guess I just needed it said to me continuously. I'm scared to do it, but then again, I'm not. It will be like a release to me, to just not freakin worry or be upset anymore. You got it down pat...that is exactly what I am going to do tonight. He's gettin ONE text message (hopefully he gets it) and then PEACE OUT BROTHER!!! I am trying to figure out how to block my cellphone calls...hmmmm...Anyways, LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Wish me luck...here goes...
Merin Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 Originally posted by angelkiss2403 Everytime I come on here, I gain more confidence that I can just let go and walk away. Merin...thank you, it is honestly your bluntness that gets me to the bone. When I read that, I was like, wow how am I actually accepting of this from a man?? I mean, I have always had great confidence, thats not the problem, I just have a huge heart that falls in love too easily. Falling for this guy was probably the biggest mistake I could have done. But, you are sooooo right, I do deserve better and I am really finding myself almost gone from the sad feelings to now being just P*SSED... at him and myself Angel, anytime;) You KNOW you deserve more... Good Luck
SoleMate Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 I know that is what I have to do...I guess I just needed it said to me continuously. My pleasure...I will be glad to toot that horn any time you need it...just ask. And I appreciate your feedback!
Author angelkiss2403 Posted October 8, 2004 Author Posted October 8, 2004 Just a quick update... I'd told him that I needed to talk to him and that he needs to call me b/c it is very very important. Well, NO PHONE CALL (assuming b/c he was with her). So finally he texts me at 10:45 last night (assuming b/c she is in bed) and texts...and i quote..."I just got the messages, simmer down, phones been on lock, everything ok?" HMMMM...nice ya *ss!!! So I DID IT!! I texted back one, and only one thing... "Good Luck-u made it clear what u want-I'm letting go-goodbye" So, its a new day. I woke up early, got ready and when he usually calls around breakfast time, no call or text. Lets see how this goes...I have to admit, i am glad i did it! Hurts a bit BUT i know the pain will go away. Thanks to you all for helping me...I'll keep an update!!
Merin Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 Originally posted by angelkiss2403 Just a quick update... I'd told him that I needed to talk to him and that he needs to call me b/c it is very very important. Well, NO PHONE CALL (assuming b/c he was with her). So finally he texts me at 10:45 last night (assuming b/c she is in bed) and texts...and i quote..."I just got the messages, simmer down, phones been on lock, everything ok?" HMMMM...nice ya *ss!!! So I DID IT!! I texted back one, and only one thing... "Good Luck-u made it clear what u want-I'm letting go-goodbye" So, its a new day. I woke up early, got ready and when he usually calls around breakfast time, no call or text. Lets see how this goes...I have to admit, i am glad i did it! Hurts a bit BUT i know the pain will go away. Thanks to you all for helping me...I'll keep an update!! *Applause* Good for you Angel! Hurts I know.. but feels good to have control in your own life again doesn't it!?
SoleMate Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 Congratulations!!!!! Can you block his number from your phone? I strongly recommend it, even if you have to spend a few bucks with the phone company. It's really important for you to have the piece of mind knowing that your phone will NEVER again be ringing with a call from him.
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