Almond_Joy Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 So you're out golfing.....again. I haven't heard from you since 9 am this morning. It's now past 10 on a Friday night and you're not home. If you got off work at your usual time you've been off for 5 hours. Obviously a full game of golf takes a few hours. And I'm sure there are drinks and chatting involved. So really this isn't a late hour, perfectly reasonable amount of time. It's not even about the golf. I realized that tonight. It's about the fact that I don't feel loved or appreciated by you. If I did I would not be cross right now. I talked to you about the intimacy problems, finally. You told me you understand, acknowledged where the problem's stemming from on your end, said we'd work on it together.....everything I wanted to hear. And 3 days later everything goes back to normal and stays that way. I don't think I should have to remind you about this problem every damn week to see lasting improvement. If you cared about fixing it you'd stay on it without me harping. You keep at everything else without prompting that interests you, like the golf and video/computer games. I guess I'm not interesting enough to require a sustained investment of your time or attention. You can spend 3 or 6 hours playing a damn video game with no breaks every night for a week straight but can't be bothered to hug me once a day. Wth? And I'm tired of having this s****y train of thought nearly every time you are out and about, and having to find a way back to he loving way that I usually see you. Because I figure you don't deserve to walk in the door and have me throw a b*** fit as soon as you come home. I don't want to be a moodkiller, or seem clingy or emotionally erratic. But I guess if that's what I am, then that's what I am. It's not like my feelings are unfounded. I've told you we've got a problem, nothing happens about it unless I say something. I'm frustrated and tired of patiently waiting for initiative. If I have to nag you to see results then the problem isn't really fixed. Sorely tempted to just stay pissed and give you an earful. What if you stroll in the door at 11? Or 12? I'm already entertaining the idea that you're out with a woman. The later you stay out the harder it gets not to believe that. Who can't be bothered to let the person they're in a relationship and living with know that they're out late hanging out? The person who doesn't give a s*** that someone's waiting up for them and is looking forward to having them home, that's who. It's just basic decency. Also feel f***** stupid for all the posts on here where I've mentioned how great you are and all you do for me. Don't know why because it's not like it's untrue. I guess I feel kind of hypocritical saying we have a great relationship when I feel like I do right now. This relationship is exhausting sometimes. I love and care about you a lot, and you just seem kinda indifferent about it. I wish I knew you were as emotionally invested in it as I am. I feel crazy for caring so much when you don't seem to.
Recommended Posts