TheMink Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 My ex dumped me around 6 weeks ago, we were 17, together for 9 months, and it was our first relationship for the both of us. She said her reasons for breaking up was because she had lost her feelings for me, and that she didn't enjoy being with me anymore. I'm guessing the main influence behind this was because I lacked confidence and was a little insecure. Originally we tried staying in contact and remaining friends but it didn't really work out and we kind of had a fight, so she's blocked me on FB and I don't have her new number. She's It's been a pretty difficult few weeks, and I haven't been dealing with it the best. But the last week or so I feel like I've been getting better. I've chosen to use this opportunity to better myself, as I've found out is what I should be using this period for. So I have been, I've gone on a diet, started exercising and I'm planning on starting to go to the gym. This in effect will probably make me a lot more confident about myself. But I guess my reasons for doing this are not just for my own personal benefit. I'm going through the anger/bitter stage at the moment. I guess I'm doing it all because I want her to see me in a few months, a year, 2-3 years and see how far I've come and how much better off I am without her. I want her to realise that she threw someone so great away, someone that really cared about her, loved her (she suffers from depression and anxiety issues from childhood traumas). I want her to see how great my life is going to be after I go through this period. I guess I want to her to try and get in contact with me in the future, not so much to get back together with her, because even if she did I would be incredibly reluctant because of what she's done to me. If she did try to get back together, the only reason I really want that to happen so it would build my ego. Is this a bad thing? Because I know I should only be doing it to better myself, and not worrying about what she thinks of me or does.
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 If these thoughts motivate you to better yourself, and you stick with the exercise etc, that's ok. Just don't expect her to care, that's all. 1
chados Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 you're asking to much questions right now. i know i told you this earlier but, if you really like this girl theres nothing anyone in here can say to make you leave her if you dont want to. theres a lot going through your mind and i have no doubts youve been googeling, and made way to many treads asking the same things over and over again. we've all been there and the only chance you got to become a better person is to understand what went wrong. im sorry but you aren't there yet. the reason why she dumped you is one thing and one thing only. the attraction she once had isnt there anymore. and the reason for that is probably because the relationship didnt develop. 1. imagine hanging with one of many friends everyday for a very long time. youre gonna get bored and you want to hang with someone else for a while. 2. now imagine hanging with a friend who is your only friend in the world and you met him couple months ago. you're gonna value this person much more cause this is your only friend. its the same thing with a relationship. but you will find someone else. and the faster you realize that if you could attract this girl. you can attract someone else. the faster you will see this as one great learning experience instead of a horrible chapter of your life. you think that you've failed as a man not being able to keep this one girl. but let me tell you something. people that jumps through relationships will rarely get hurt. and when they dont get hurt they dont learn, and when they dont learn they wont appreciate anyone in their life as much as you will. in other words, you will come out as a man, and they will never grow as a person.
MercuryMorrison1 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 I don't think there is such a thing as a ''bad reason'' to better oneself. In the end bettering yourself is bettering yourself. But don't do it for her...Do it for yourself. Chance's are she won't care.
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