Veronica2025 Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 This could apply to men and women in different ways. But anyway ...was just thinking that the men who could have set a good example for me ( father, uncles) completely screwed me over for a rough beginning. Never had high expectations for anyone. So never did try.
hppr Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Most of my friends growing up had little to no luck with girls or they had horrible taste in women, and my father was a prick who I could never talk to, so no help on either of those fronts. The only good male influence in my life (when it came to women) was a friend of my dad's who was a total party animal lady's man type. He basically got me laid for the first time, always had parties at his house and his family was huge so there was always some neice or other female relative he'd try to fix me up with. It was like the Twilight Zone for me since everywhere else I went in that little town the girls my age frigging hated my guts. When I finally left that town I realized that most people there were jerks because they were unhappy and very poor, not an excuse for the kind of behavior I saw from people but that was how it was.
todreaminblue Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 This could apply to men and women in different ways. But anyway ...was just thinking that the men who could have set a good example for me ( father, uncles) completely screwed me over for a rough beginning. Never had high expectations for anyone. So never did try. I normally have been pursued pretty hard for dates.......which makes it hard for me to pursue....and a bit wary....as it doesn't feel natural for me...i will kamikaze myself for someone i really have interest in....i have a mixed bag of men in my past.....most however including my step father were strong confident men......even the shy ones......once i had dated them a while weren't so shy anymore......i would say the biggest influence male wise for me has been extremely positive..........i was only a little girl......my grandfathers were always an influence........one was a war veteran.......told me when i was a very young girl that i was special......that i should never wait to tell people how i feel.......because life is very fleeting........he also said that a guy who is right for me would be the one who would stand up for me.......i trust his ways.....he had an undeniable spirit....one reason he spoke to me so early about boys........is because he didnt have long to live.........i didnt have many years with this huge hearted man..........what he said to me however has lasted all my life and will go with me into the next.....and i miss him.....anyway.......ill see him again one day........he is getting the hugest hug from me........:0) his attitude his beliefs shaped part of who i am....he told me god has a special place for me....that was the night he died ....he told me that....he also told me i will see him again ....and he wasnt sick anymore he had all his hair back .....lovely dark hair.....huge smile....surrounded by light....when i am really down and out or men have treated em badly....i see his face still....his encouragement....his smile........adn i hold my head back up.........i deserve only to date men who are strong enough to stand up and say what they want.......because i would always stand up and do the same for them...and i have.......always will....through thick or thin girl thats me..i just dont date any guy............well thats my story......or a bit of it...lol.......men have influenced my style ......but the positive experiences i have had with men who have huge hearts.......has shaped me in a good way...i know what is good and right....one day ill date that guy....deb
HokeyReligions Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 My dad was very sick since before I was born and died when I was 15. I never really had any male role models growing up. I was "taught" by my mom and grandmother that men only wanted one thing. Keep in mind this was in the 1950 - 1970's era. I never trusted any boy or man. I didn't date in high school. I had one semi-serious relationship before I met my husband and dated maybe a dozen or so guys most only a few times. My husband is the only man I've ever trusted and next week we celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary. I doubt I'll ever trust another man. Maybe if I had a strong male influence growing up I would trust more....or maybe I would have trusted and had my heart broken.
Author Veronica2025 Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 I left the Twilight Zone three and a half years ago. I wanted to "grow." It is a long process. I never wanted to date in a small town. Where I'm from everybody's been with everybody.
Author Veronica2025 Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 My dad was very sick since before I was born and died when I was 15. I never really had any male role models growing up. I was "taught" by my mom and grandmother that men only wanted one thing. Keep in mind this was in the 1950 - 1970's era. I never trusted any boy or man. I didn't date in high school. I had one semi-serious relationship before I met my husband and dated maybe a dozen or so guys most only a few times. My husband is the only man I've ever trusted and next week we celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary. I doubt I'll ever trust another man. Maybe if I had a strong male influence growing up I would trust more....or maybe I would have trusted and had my heart broken. Same. My mom taught me it. She would tell me all the time and then behind it, I had to watch the way men treated her. So here I am, afraid to get close to anyone.
ThaWholigan Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Well I was always the initially shyest one out of all the males I knew. It was a little difficult because I was the older brother usually, but the youngest one in my age group at school. Everybody was proactive with girls, even when girls shut them down they didn't care. Every guy I knew was like that. They never really gave me advice on how to get girls, they just expected me to be like that too, and were shocked that I was so withdrawn and.........well, scared . My dad was quite famous at one point (still is) and he was already pretty popular with women - he nonetheless only had two nuggets of advice for me: "Get fit" "Don't try to understand women, you never will" In the end, most of what I knew about girls, I learned from 3 of my closest friends - this was before PUA and sh*t like that. All had varying degrees of success with women, but all pretty much were good in different areas. They mostly spoke to and treated women like they were anybody. Like a normal person - rather than otherworldly humans . They were risque, bold. I didn't do exactly what they did, but I could see the ingredients. I learned the most from my very close friend whom I used to smoke weed with. Torrid affair aside, he was the most socially intelligent and adept person I have ever known. True genius. I think most of what I learned socially was picked up from him. TL;DR, I was influenced by my friends willingness to do what they wanted to and with women (that sentence sounds worse than it was). I moderated my own approach and have had little success, but I got somewhere eventually. Despite their influence on me, I realized that I'm vastly different and even their approach for me worked much much less. I am still trying to find my groove but I have gotten my own template. I owe that to my 3 close friends, all of whom are the most socially adept people I've known - particularly my smoking friend .
RedRobin Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I come from a long line of happily married men and women on both sides of my family. My parents met in college and are still happily married 48 years later. Very few divorces. How have they influenced dating for me? I wish I knew the answer to that question. Noone in my family dated much. They found someone they could be happy with and built a life with them. I'm pretty much on my own when it comes to 'dating' these days and it sucks. 1
Author Veronica2025 Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 I come from a long line of happily married men and women on both sides of my family. My parents met in college and are still happily married 48 years later. Very few divorces. How have they influenced dating for me? I wish I knew the answer to that question. Noone in my family dated much. They found someone they could be happy with and built a life with them. I'm pretty much on my own when it comes to 'dating' these days and it sucks. It's a very foreign concept for me. I guess I grew up in a poorer town as well. Dating sucks for me as well.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I've had some good mentors as far as how to get and keep girls. From the men in my life (excluding my family), I've had some great learning experiences. The women in my life (besides my mom, who is a wonderful person) are the ones that made me distrustful of women as a whole. No matter how good they seem at first, they always end up being liars and/or cheaters.
Author Veronica2025 Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 I have to be honest. It is very interesting to meet men who are distrustful. I always thought it was women only. I made it an exclusive club.
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