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Posted

Darn it I caved.

This is my 3rd update posting about this. My xMM showed up at my door and I let him in. He lived with me for 6months before moving out. I was sure he went back home for a couple weeks but then he texted he is in an apartment. He said its short term and he has his office there so I'm sure he is still going home. Anyways he showed up at my door last night and I let him in. He missed me and "loves me". And then the tears start again. He is really struggling without me. Said he is a mess. He can't eat or sleep. He is a "train wreck" he says. Of course it was late when he came and I was almost asleep when he came. He wanted to just sleep with me. he missed my head on his shoulder and saying how much we love each other. I caved. He was holding me so tight. He was stroking my hair telling me how much he loves me. I couldn't sleep much but I pretended that I was sleeping. He would watch me sleep, stroking my hair and saying how much he loves me. Then 5am he leaves. I felt so crushed It s gut wrenching and so painful. I put myself thru that again. He said he would call me tonight but so far he hasn't. Now I'm in pain and yup I guess I did it to myself. Like how do I break free from this cycle.

Posted

Love without action (that leads to positive result) is not so-called love. The MM simply was using the poor woman.

 

He is in love with you. That cannot be faked.

 

However, he lives in two different universes. Poor guy!

Posted

I'm so sorry. Hang in there. It is hard to turn your back on someone when they love you. Try your best to do what is best for you. Be kind to yourself. xxx

Posted

Stop answering the door when he shows up. He will continue to show up, call and take advantage as long as you allow him to. He knows how to selfishly manipulate you, and you fall for it every time.

 

If you want it over for good, you'll step it up a notch and start telling him to leave you alone, to respect your wishes. He made the choice to go back home and the A is over right? who cares where he is living at the moment.. Bottom line is, he isn't leaving and divorcing his wife. That's all you need to know. Unless you want to continue to settle for second fiddle, allow him to come and go as he pleases, to spend time with you when he can fit you in.. My guess is you don't want that, you want MORE. The thing is, and you know this too, you will never get anything more from him than what he is offering you now. If you're Ok with that, then enjoy it for as long as you can. If you can't handle it (and it seems like you can't) then (and I say this with care and respect) grow a pair and tell him to get lost!! Stand up to him, tell him he's a real shi.t for hurting you, to keep showing up at your door step, to keep calling you. That you're sick of it and you've had enough so he can go suck an egg, go back home and leave you alone.

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