Phantom888 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I'm 38 years old, single dad. Been married once for 12 years, and engaged once after my divorce. Countless dates and short relationships over the years. I always thought it would be nice to meet a decent girl who can be my best friend at first, and the friendship would grow into intimacy. I always imagined when the right one comes along, I would break all my rules.... But I am realistic, and realize that love takes time to grow. Then suddenly last week I met a woman who completely turned my world up-side-down. I'm smitten so hard I can't even think straight. If I had the power to create the "perfect" woman for me, my creation would be nothing compared to her. I mean, she is almost unreal to me. After that 1st date, I thought to myself, "if this doesn't work out, I'm gonna stop dating for good....the bar has been set too high." Does anyone believe in Love At First Sight anymore? 1
shexy Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I believe in lust at first sight, but not love at first sight :-) It sounds promising - best of luck!!!! 3
pteromom Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 No. Love requires that you know the other person. That you've seen each other at both your best and worst, and despite all the flaws, you accept each other and want to be with each other. Can't do that at first sight. But I do believe in two people who are a perfect match for each other finding each other against all odds... so I hope she is it for you! 5
FitChick Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 As you yourself said, you are smitten. That isn't love. Lust probably. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
CarrieT Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 That isn't love. Lust probably. Not that there is anything wrong with that. And that butterfly feeling? IT NEVER LASTS!!!!!! Nine to fourteen months, tops. That is the honeymoon/infatuation period. After that, you settle into the comfort zone and if the relationship is really good - and not based on the "first site" feeling, maybe it can last... 1
ThomasD Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 (We haven't heard HER side of the story, not even as reported by you.) "Pteromom" gave good advice. It could be lust, or infatuation, or even a strong attraction to somebody you want to become good friends with. (For a long-term marriage it's important to be "in like" as well as "in love".) I seriously doubt that your feeling could be the kind of love to build a successful marriage on. Considering your age and prior experience, give it at least 3 months. Then if the attraction is even half as strong, and the other critical factors are in place, start talking about tying the knot. (And no slip-knots allowed!) I can identify with the feeling, though. I was 22 when I came away from a first-date with a girl I had just laid eyes on that very day, thinking "I may have just met my life partner!". The most significant difference? We had already been writing to each other - progressively more serious letters - for over 3 months before we met. And it was another 3-1/2 months of in-person dating before I proposed. Looking back, even that seems rather quick but we are still together almost 39 years later.
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