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Posted

For the past week or so i've caught my fiance masturbating by herself at night while im outside doing w/e it is im doing. One of those times that i caught her..happend to be right after having sex and i mean i went all out on her..went down on her for a long while and i could tell everything was great even used a small bullet vib. to try to make things even better but yet i still caught her masturbating afterwards. I mean there are things i could complain about when it comes to our sex but i don't because i love her and love having sex with her even if i don't get off and thats happened many times(sometimes we have sex for 1 1/2 or 2).

 

Now im completely losing it and i feel like im not good enough for her or i don't please her. She says 'she doesn't care if she gets off -- sex just feels good' but if thats the case...then why is she masturbating everynight and hiding it from me along with not having sex with me..i just don't know what to do. I feel like im about to throw 7yrs out the window...i mean im losing it so bad that i haven't even been able to eat literally.

Posted

A lot of women have problems having orgasms from oral sex, penetrative sex, etc. That doesn't mean she doesn't like it a lot or that you aren't making her happy.

 

She's just masturbating. Are you honestly never going to masturbate again? I've never stopped, even during the times when I was getting the best sex ever.

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Posted

honestly im going out of my mind even though i understand what your saying and without a doubt i would rather have sex with her than masturbate. Evidently it doesn't seem like this is the case with her its been a week since we've had sex and shes seemed to masturbate every night with no care of how i feel. **** the only reason i do masturbate is because she doesn't have sex with me.

Posted

When did this start to happen? Is she going through any psychological or physiological issues?

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Posted

and she knows how i am about sex -- i love it and could have it 3 / 4 times a day. So its not like i would say no if she asked me about sex.

Posted

How often are you actually having sex, and how old are you two?

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Posted

Only thing is we have 2 kids but there always in bed by 8:30 / 9 oclock. At night i do the cooking because she doesn't know how and the majority of the time i also clean it up. Oldest boy doesn't need help with a shower so the youngest is the one i usually do. So basicly all she has to do is sit on the couch until everyones sleeping oh and one of the times she did it while i was cooking so what gives...

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Posted

i just turned 30 last oct. shes only 27 and on a good month 4 maybe 5 times -- normal months 2 times mayybe 3?

Posted

Hmm. Ok, with all of the other things (that would have been helpful in your original post), I would ask her to see a doctor or psychiatrist, and I would definitely tell her that I'm not terribly interested in sticking around if things don't get better in at least some areas.

 

The problem could be physical. It could be psychological. It could be another guy. She could be an alien. But no one here knows. You need to talk to her and seek professional advice.

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Posted

so either way i have to make a choice that is going to effect to much. I did confront her after i herd her doing it after we had sex the next day...and she denied it..and she contines to.. so me advising her to see a psychiatrist is probably going to cause an argument.

 

Is there anyway to really determine if it is another guy?

Posted
so either way i have to make a choice that is going to effect to much. I did confront her after i herd her doing it after we had sex the next day...and she denied it..and she contines to.. so me advising her to see a psychiatrist is probably going to cause an argument.

 

Is there anyway to really determine if it is another guy?

 

Short of snooping, no. I'm not even saying it is. I'm saying that you don't have enough information.

 

Also, I wouldn't recommend snooping unless you have extremely solid proof that she's doing something.

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Posted

is there something wrong with me if i can't get over this..

Posted

Hard to know unless she doesn't actually have orgasms with you. Why don't you ask her why she is doing it?

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