Do most cheat?

[YouWish]

Do you think most people cheat? Is this the "new normal" because it seems to me like everyone is.

[underwater2010]

NO, they don't. But once your life is touched by infidelity, you can spot it a mile away.

[dichotomy]

I have seen varying statistics of 30-60% over the course of a marriage, cheating will be involved. Of those statistics, men still lead, but women are closing the gap due to cultural and economic changes.

 

Without a doubt the stigma of adultery to society is not what it was and people seem to care less and less. I would say that the stigma or hurt within the marriage (bs) has not really changed much over the years.

 

In other words it will still mess up your marriage, but your not going to be as messy for you at work, your local community place, or even with friends and family as much these days.

 

Also there is a growing movement away from traditional marriage and tons of articles about being "monogamish" or open marriages or allowed affairs. Plenty instances in the media of "its not in our nature to be monogamous" .

[Mr. Lucky]

Statistics show about half do I believe.

I have seen varying statistics of 30-60% over the course of a marriage, cheating will be involved.

I've always been skeptical of these numbers since their collection involves asking people who cheat to be honest about what they do...

 

Mr. Lucky

[BetrayedH]

I've always been skeptical of these numbers since their collection involves asking people who cheat to be honest about what they do...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Having read a lot about the statistics re: affairs, the consensus is just as you've said. You would need waywards to admit to an affair when by its nature, an affair promotes lying on this subject.

 

I'm also usually skeptical of claims that things are somehow "worse" today than ever before. But I also tend to think that recent generations went thru, what I call, The Howard Stern Effect. "Shock" became mainstream entertainment and I tend to believe that not much shocks us these days as a result.

[Mr. Lucky]

I'm also usually skeptical of claims that things are somehow "worse" today than ever before. But I also tend to think that recent generations went thru, what I call, The Howard Stern Effect. "Shock" became mainstream entertainment and I tend to believe that not much shocks us these days as a result.

Agreed. I also think that marriage today is looked at as a more disposable arrangement than in generations past - people go in thinking "if this doesn't work, I'll just bail...". And in getting out, some feel entitled to secure a landing spot before they jump...

 

Mr. Lucky

[BetrayedH]

Agreed. I also think that marriage today is looked at as a more disposable arrangement than in generations past - people go in thinking "if this doesn't work, I'll just bail...". And in getting out, some feel entitled to secure a landing spot before they jump...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I would suppose that "no fault" divorces can take some of the blame for that attitude. Other than being arraigned for tossing my wife out the front door, I never saw a judge and I never got to tell my side of the story (not even to that guy, which was done by video conference). No one gave a crap about what happened. It amazes me that you can sue for anything in this country but not for a full-year of well-evidenced fraud in an agreement that was witnessed by 100 people and ratified by the State. Some waywards even get the telling of it prohibited in their settlement agreements. There's just no disadvantage to doing it now. Bored with your M? The state is here to help you throw it away, and split up the kids & the stuff. Next person in line.

 

Personally, I'd like the twelve years I faithfully invested in that marriage back so I can reinvest them elsewhere. Or how about at least the 13 months that she was secretly violating her part of the agreement but keeping me stuck with mine? Nah, it's apparently too much hassle to judge what would be justice.

[Spark1111]

No, I do not believe most cheat. I believe it is between 20 to 30 percent.

 

That falls in line with the personality disordered, the conflict-avoidant, the narcissists ( which many celebrities exhibit signs of), and since we live in societies that gobble up celebrity gossip, we are led to believe more than 30 percent do.

[Spark1111]

Yes.

Even if only 30% cheat, that's still 1 out of every 3.

Crappy odds if you ask me.

Plus, just look around, everyone seems to be either cheating or being cheated on.

 

Where I am, live, reside, I just do not see one out of every three cheating, but I suppose it is true.

 

In the family-centered suburbs, there is very little time to do so as couples are devoted to raising their children right.

 

If the kids come first, it is all time-consuming.

[scatterd]

From what I have seen many do. I have had husbands that cheated.My brother,cousins, daughter and many friends had it happen to them also.

Edited June 2, 2013 by scatterd

[woinlove]

I know you think I'm a b**** but the fact is, everytime you are with another couple you're already MAKING the statistic. You, your husband who did cheat and then another couple who might be completely faithful and you hit the 30%.

 

That's why i don't understand when people argue that it isn't happening are the BS. You're proof positive that these numbers are accurate.

It confuses me. I'm not trying to be snarky about it, but it just IS.

 

But if Spark is with 4 other couples who have been faithful, then she doesn't make the 30%, right? I don't see your point about any one individual, such as Spark, saying anything one way or another about a proposed statistic of 30%. Her case alone only shows that it is neither 0% nor 100%.

 

As to understanding and confusion: I think people who cheat, like to think lots of other people cheat, while people who are faithful, like to think lots of other people are faithful. Even experts can't agree on the fraction who cheat, so we don't know for sure, but it seems to lie somewhere between 20 and 60 percent.

 

Different studies give quite different percentages, but all studies and estimates seem to find that at any given time, the majority of people are faithful. In other words, the fraction of people who spend significant parts of their lives cheating, is a rather small fraction.

[scatterd]

I think situations are different and your going to get different opinions. As far as statistics go I have seen so many different ones I could pick and choose. Most I have seen have been higher then 25%. I guess it depends on how many people, where and so on.

[William]

As this one-post-wonder logged out shortly after posting this thread and hasn't returned, I'm going to close this up. Thanks for your participation.