lovelifexx Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 So I will see my ex at a wedding on Sunday. He knows that Im still madly in love with him and that I am still heartbroken. We have sent a few emails to eachother a few weeks ago. Its the only contact we have had in 6 months. He basically said he doesnt think we should be friends just aquantinces. Im so nervous because i feel so ashamed that he is totally over me and im so not. Im just wondering how to act? If i look like im having the world's best time it will just look pathetic, like Im trying to hard no? But i obviously dont want to appear all sad and heartbroken. Im totally dreading this, its going to hurt the whole time....Thanks for any tips or advice. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 So I will see my ex at a wedding on Sunday. He knows that Im still madly in love with him and that I am still heartbroken. We have sent a few emails to eachother a few weeks ago. Its the only contact we have had in 6 months. He basically said he doesnt think we should be friends just aquantinces. Im so nervous because i feel so ashamed that he is totally over me and im so not. Im just wondering how to act? If i look like im having the world's best time it will just look pathetic, like Im trying to hard no? But i obviously dont want to appear all sad and heartbroken. Im totally dreading this, its going to hurt the whole time....Thanks for any tips or advice. Don't go?? 2
Author lovelifexx Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 It's one of my closest friends. Oh, i did buy a gorgeous dress 1
Treasa Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 If it's a close friend and you already have a dress, go, have as much fun as you can, and get to know some new people and become very absorbed with them.
SweetiePie12 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Go, look great, have a good time, expect that he will try to talk to you, but keep it brief, and enjoy some champagne -- but not too much. Remember, this day is about your FRIEND. 1
BustedUpInside Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Why would it look pathetic if you tried to have a good time? I think you could have a great time. My best friend was once in a very similar situation. Based on her experience, here are my tips to you: 1) if there is alcohol at the wedding reception, DO NOT drink. It will only impair your judgment and lead towards epic meltdowns. 2) Don't talk about your ex AT ALL. If people ask if you're ok with him being there, just say something casual like "I guess. I hadn't really thought about it. Let's talk about something interesting like where all the handsome single guys are sitting." 3) Do not talk to your ex. If he tries to start a conversation, make an excuse to leave. Suddenly you need to use the ladies room. Be polite, but do not stick around. 4) Always imagine that someone is about to take your picture. Would you really want to be the "sad girl" in someone's wedding album? The more you smile, the better time you will have. Having a great time will be the ultimate revenge. You get to have fun and he gets to watch! Good luck!!!
SweetiePie12 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 1) if there is alcohol at the wedding reception, DO NOT drink. It will only impair your judgment and lead towards epic meltdowns. ...depending on how it affects her. I don't encourage over-indulging, but a little liquid courage could go a long way.
Author lovelifexx Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Thank u so much for the advice. I will limit myself to 2 drinks...anymore would be disasterous. 2
KatZee Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Also know, that the fact you're even going shows how truly strong you are... even if you don't think so. There's no way in hell I'd go to any wedding that my ex was also attending. I just wouldn't be able to be in the same room as him. 1
Ajax Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I was in a similar situation a couple years ago. Like someone mentioned to you, some folks suggested I not go. But I was in the wedding party and they were my best friends, so not attending wasn't even an option I was considering. In my case, I'd been dumped by this girl (the one which brought me here to LS) about a year beforehand and we hadn't spoken to each other since. She brought the bloke she'd dumped me for and wouldn't look at me or acknowledge my existence the entire time we were there. It did sting, and it was awkward at times when we were in the same vicinity mutually ignoring each other, but it was worth the discomfort to be there. For the majority of the time I was able to enjoy myself, albeit with her in the back of my mind. I hope that you can go and have an amazing time regardless of your ex's presence. Put on the gorgeous dress and knock everyone else dead who sees you! If he approaches you, be pleasant and polite, but feel free to remove yourself from the encounter quickly. After all, you're only acquaintances now and not friends. So you don't own him anything. Enjoy, be sexy, and don't let him unnerve you! 3
2sure Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Hard as it might be for anyone here to believe....a lot of people don't like me. I'm involved with quite a few organizations, some controversial and my profession is basically about conflict. I have to socialize via functions quite a bit. And I'm human. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes I'm solo, sometimes I'm insecure. Hold you're head high. Be completely courteous and charming to everyone. Including your ex. Don't ignore him and don't sit with him. Present yourself as you would any good acquaintance. Some warmth, some eye contact. Move on.
SweetiePie12 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Also know, that the fact you're even going shows how truly strong you are... even if you don't think so. There's no way in hell I'd go to any wedding that my ex was also attending. It's her good friend's wedding. He is a mere afterthought.
crederer Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Don't ever avoid a place because of your ex. Be strong and live your life as you would if you never met them. Don't talk to him/her at all. If they approach you, be short and to the point. Don't show any negative emotion (until you get back home/your friends place and spill your guts to them, not the ex). Also everything bustedupinside said. Good luck. If you see a potential future partner there, don't go overboard because it'll look like you're trying too hard to "show" the ex. In other words, it's okay to flirt with others but don't take it overboard. Not drinking would probably be smart.... 2
KatZee Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 It's her good friend's wedding. He is a mere afterthought. Not everyone thinks this way. When I was dating my ex, we attended one of his girl friend's wedding. HIS ex at the time was also invited, and she was good friends with this girl. She didn't go. She RSVP'd no to the bachelorette party (because I was there) and then RSVP'd no to the actual wedding because we would BOTH be there together. Not everyone has the strength to face an ex they're still in love with. Especially at a function like a wedding, especially if they're now dating or have brought someone else. 1
Treasa Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Also know, that the fact you're even going shows how truly strong you are... even if you don't think so. There's no way in hell I'd go to any wedding that my ex was also attending. I just wouldn't be able to be in the same room as him. Same here, but that's only because I would try to kill him (this only applies to two of my exes), and murders are generally frowned upon at weddings. 1
metal_chick Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I don't think you should be friend or acquaintances, I think you should be strangers...
Author lovelifexx Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 Thank you for all the advice and support. I'll post how it went on Sunday. 1
SweetiePie12 Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Yep. Dress sexy. Show some leg. But don't show up the bride. This day is not about OP and the ex whatsoever. Merely happenstance.
Author lovelifexx Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 It's the wedding this afternoon. I was talking to some friends of ours. All of them say they want us to get back together, they think they just need to "talk to him about it". Really? They convince him, but I couldn't? lol. But seriously, it just gives me hope and makes it hard to move on when friends say that. And it doesn't mean anything. It's what he wants. Nervous as hell right now.... :S 1
BustedUpInside Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 It's the wedding this afternoon. I was talking to some friends of ours. All of them say they want us to get back together, they think they just need to "talk to him about it". Really? They convince him, but I couldn't? lol. But seriously, it just gives me hope and makes it hard to move on when friends say that. And it doesn't mean anything. It's what he wants. Nervous as hell right now.... :S Don't forget, it's also what you want! Even if you decide that you guys should get back together, make sure that he knows that you are reconciling as equals. I know you're nervous, but I bet you will still have a great time! 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Don't go! There is now ay in hell I would attend the wedding if I was still in love with a guy who did not return the feelings! He could bring a date with him! Yikes. And you will be a mess over it, anyone who is madly in love with a guy would be a mess if they saw them take a date to wedding.
Leigh 87 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Also know, that the fact you're even going shows how truly strong you are... even if you don't think so. There's no way in hell I'd go to any wedding that my ex was also attending. I just wouldn't be able to be in the same room as him. SAME. I do not care if it is my own MUMS wedding. No one who cares about me would want to subject me to that torture...... Your best friend will not feel that much pain over you not attending for good reasoning. You, on the other hand, will be feeling a lot of pain due to having to attend.....
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