Super long Movie worthy week of mine..

[Its_MEE]

Ok.... So a lot of you know my predictable story but I'm in need of some help!!!

 

MM went out of town last weekend to see his sick aunt with W. NC all weekend. He felt the need to tell me on Friday that he wouldn't be in on Tuesday. Acted like I didn't care and went about my business(no lunch date).

 

The weekend was rough but my awesome cousin helped me through it. Girls night out... Crabs on Sunday.. Baseball game Monday.

 

All weekend I knew he was away with her (rightfully so, as we were over)

But.. I also KNEW that he would call my work extension as soon as Tuesday came! (Cuz she's checking phone records). So f'in predictable. 9am Tuesday I get a call from a rest stop just "checking in" I told him I was busy and hung up.. This is where it all goes downhill!!!!!

 

I stepped outside and felt like I was immediately possessed. I called him back. Lost my cool and told him to stop mind f'ing me and to leave me the hell alone! And if he ever called me again, I would call his W. and hung up. He immediately ironed my day and my adrenaline was as high as ever. So I grabbed my phone and texted her. I told her that he didn't stop contact when she thought. And that he will never stop. That he has always cheated on her. I asked her to look him in the eyes and ask him if he was in love with me. Told her that this was not the first time I tried to get away from him but that he's pushed and pushed until I cave. Among other things. She said that he said I was lying. I then texted them BOTH and threatened to send 1year worth of texts. Because I may be a lot... But a liar... NEVER.

She asked me to send them.... I DIDN'T. And I won't. Texting her was already doing something that is completely out of character of me. That night he texted me a whole bunch of sht. "Y are you doing this"??? Telling me how unnecessary that was and hurtful and how he would've never expected that from me... I stood by my actions but did feel kinda bad because I just shouldn't of stirred things up like this..

Wednesday: the first day of seeing him. NC was immediately broken and we talked about all the messages. Then of course, I somehow forgot I was heartbroken for a sec... Telling me how much he's cried for me, thought about me. That I shouldn't of sent the messages because he knows how to handle the situation and he would've been able to end it 'peacefully' with her if that's what they were doing...

I got a text from her at 6:15 telling me "we have to meet... TONIGHT. Or I will be at your job in the morning." He called me telling me that she wanted him to also meet with us... So I agreed.

Fast forward a few hours.. I felt like I was literally about to have heart complications the way my heart was pounding. I got to the restaurant first... Waited for 30 minutes at a table by the window... Saw the car, saw them walking in... OMG i could've fainted... I've never felt like this.. EVER. Is this really about to happen.. Was he REALLY going to tell ME that it was actually and officially over in front of her?!!!???!!!?!! YES!

 

He did it. He looked me in the eyes. And told me.. That he chose her and that it was OVER. I'll spare anymore details on the meeting as it was a lengthy and ugly one.......... Heartbroken... He was a stranger.. Looked different. Like a f'in stray dirty dog with his dusty tail tucked up under his as*. I don't know this man!!!

 

I might've known it was over... But no.... I didn't... I repeated to them both... He's lying... He WILL come after me again. "You're a liar and a coward" "you're in love with me.. Your hearts with me but this is it! Remember this"

She touched his face slightly @ one point and I could of reached across that table and fought them... both. I know... Crazy... But my emotion have never ever ever been so unbelievably intense.. But I didn't. I kept my composure. She ended it with, " I hope you never have to feel like this ever again" and I just put my finger up, said excuse me for a second, went outside, cried really hard for 10seconds, wiped my tears and walked back in... They paid, she walked out first... He looked at me with his stupid sad eyes and said... "I'm sorry C" I said.. "I hate you".

Today: I got to work early. Went into dispatch where he works and where my paperwork is that I MUST pick up. Grab my crap and start to walk out to go to my office.. He says.. " good mornin" I get to my door. Turn around.. Go back into the office drop the paperwork and said.. "I quit". I go to my car, he chased me asking me to not do this 'please X 97 times. I get in the car and remember all my pictures in my office. I start walking back in and he's chasing me.. I literally run to get my hundreds of pics off the pins and he blocks me... Begging me to not do this because of him blah. Then he had the audacity to ask ME why I said all that last night!!!!! I hit him. Asked him to please get TF away from me. He did. I left. 3hrs later my manager calls me asking me to meet, I do and he convinced me to go back (with a promotion in another facility cuz he knows everything).

2pm he's leaving, I'm coming back from lunch BOOM we meet face to face. He f'in tells me how confused he is. I tell him that "I don't give a sht about his confusion. It is no longer my concern. We are OVER. Don't ever talk to me again. Forget my name. Forget me. Forget it all. You embarrassed me like I've never been embarrassed. Denied things that I could've proven with messages. And looked me in my eyes and told me that BS!!! But here you are, less than 12hrs later, breaking the NC that youSWORE your W last night would stick this time"

 

Haven't talked to him since. I. Am. Lost... But I know... NOW is when my healing TRULLY begins. Depressed doesn't even begin to describe. Sick, chest pains, asthma attacks, panic attacks, shakes, weak, dizzy.

But WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS???! He insulted and destroyed me like no one ever has. I should hate him with every fiber! I've never been this weak, pathetic, sorry excuse for a woman... EVER... I'm can't even look in the mirror. I don't know this girl.

 

Longest post EVER! If any Of you read the whole thing... I THANK YOU. I have no one to talk to right now. Sorry for poss typos.

[DelusionalOne]

Mee, I am sorry. That sounds like a nightmare...an actual nightmare come to life. That whole scene is just completely F'd up. It is good that your supervisor has arranged to get you out of the building. You will do much better when you don't have to face him day to day. I'm going to be honest with you... you have some tough days ahead of you....but I swear to you... it gets easier. I'm not sure it will ever be easy, but you will start to have a new kind of normal. I am sorry. Try to get some rest if you can. Sleep is always a good thing.

[Its_MEE]

This man is a asshat, he is no prize and I hope you never look at him again. His poor wife, she'd be better off without him also.

 

Don't talk with him, don't even look at him, and if he persists, then you need to take it to your higher ups where you work and you need to look into a restraining order. This man is crazy! Also the only way to heal is no contact whatsoever with him. I think you will look back at this and think wtf was I thinking and you will see it wasn't love, well certainly not healthy love, just a bunch of dysfunction on both your parts.

 

LG,

Thank you so much for reading all that crap. I'm DONE. It's like the windshield wipers have magically turned on. I'm devastated... But... Awake. And. He is NO PRIZE. I now know that. He is pathetic. And he needs to seek counsel, as do I. I do not see him as pure evil, but instead as a weak, pathetic, lost soul. There is no way this was love right?!?? Love does not do this! The contact... Is absolutely done done done. I will pinch myself really freaking hard (i wont) if need be before I talk to him. I can't look at him. I will be transferring to a new facility but not until the beginning of July. I go on a 1week vacation to Dominican Rep Jun 24th. So these 3weeks will be tough. I feel like a drug fiend that now has to go cold turkey. If he persists.,. I will inform him that I WILL report him.

<3

[spice4life]

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you're in such pain right now. (((Hugs))). That must have been an awful experience!!! But you know what? You have so much courage to face that situation and even though it hurts like H*LL you are sooo strong girl!!!

 

Keep venting here to work through it and get it out of your system. (((Hugs)))

[Lillyfree]

hey it's mee...

 

i'm sorry that you went through all that. view it as a positive thing, when you can - instead of ending your A when everything was great and you had the foggles (™) on... you saw him for what he is. you will hurt and mourn your relationship - but at least you won't mourn the idea of a 'perfect man'.

from what i've read here, many OW don't get a chance to do so.

 

be kind to yourself, look after your health. love shouldn't cause health problems....it's not love. it's crazy, poisonous, mess.

[Its_MEE]

Mee, I am sorry. That sounds like a nightmare...an actual nightmare come to life. That whole scene is just completely F'd up. It is good that your supervisor has arranged to get you out of the building. You will do much better when you don't have to face him day to day. I'm going to be honest with you... you have some tough days ahead of you....but I swear to you... it gets easier. I'm not sure it will ever be easy, but you will start to have a new kind of normal. I am sorry. Try to get some rest if you can. Sleep is always a good thing.

 

Delusional one,

You hit the ugly nail right on the head.. A NIGHTMARE in real life! I am by nature a very very composed person. Don't really get nervous or embarrassed by much.. But I was ACTUALLY shaking. I feel like I've developed a heart murmur. Sleep isn't an option. I even tried a sleep aid last night. Nothing.. Just anxiety. I'm just so scared that I won't ever be ok. I feel like a zombie. Like I am watching all of this from outside of my body. But... I HAVE TO make it. I have a beautiful 7 year old son.. Who is the REAL reason for my happiness! Not this mess of a man. Oh goodness this is my biggest test thus far... And I don't want to fail!!!!!

Thanks so much for your advise.. You have always been so helpful!! <3

[Its_MEE]

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you're in such pain right now. (((Hugs))). That must have been an awful experience!!! But you know what? You have so much courage to face that situation and even though it hurts like H*LL you are sooo strong girl!!!

 

Keep venting here to work through it and get it out of your system. (((Hugs)))

 

You just made me cry... Lol. Thank you for thinking I am strong... But I am not. I am feeling defeated. Thank you so much

[Its_MEE]

He's a fk'n mental patient! I don't believe in violence but he needs someone to kick his ass. I wish you would send his wife all of the texts or emails so he can't keep lying and gaslighting her.

 

I decided against sending those messages because.... I will not allow him to transform me into this crazy bitter biatch.

There are A LOT a lot in those msgs. Things that would probably ruin his chance at having a relationship with his baby.

Also, the way I looked at them last night.. I realized...

1: he admitted to me that he's always cheated on her.. She is clueless.

2: she is blinded. He has her mesmerized.

3: she has him tamed. (Main issue in the M. She yells he shuts down)

4: he will keep lying to her because he isn't in love with her and he's been lying for 20 yrs. why stop now?

5: she KNOWS that he doesn't love her but.. That's the only man she's ever been with.

6: I've done enough... It is no longer my concern how much he lies to her. Cuz I'm out. Towel tossed, deuces up, pedal to the metal done. They can be dysfunctional til death do they part idgaf anymore (I do but I'm trying not to)

 

I really wish I was stronger so I could've actually hurt him with my weak girly punch.

[Its_MEE]

Here here!

 

Mee, why don't you just send her the texts that you told her you would send her? It seems like you're just messing with her by not sending them when you said you would

 

Hey TJH,

Please see the above mentioned reasons for not sending them reply to Alexandria... But also, I did not tell her I would send them. After he said I was lying... I told her I ask him if he wanted me to prove my truth with these messages. She said yes I do... I didn't continue with the conversation at that point.... The messages became irrelevant once we met up yesterday and things were laid out there... There were some moments where I wanted to pull my phone out.. But then I thought... For what? What would I get out of tht?

[Its_MEE]

Well I think it's kind of low to taunt her with the texts and then refuse to send them to her. Why did you even tell her about them if you weren't going to follow through. Soon you will be saying that she just turns a blind eye and doesn't even want the truth, but she asked for the truth and you refused her. Now she has nothing to go on but the lies her twisted freak of husband feeds her.

 

I didn't mean to taunt her... I didn't lie when I said that I felt like I was possessed in a way. I was writing sht that I would never say... And once I sent that... I went back, reread every single message and chose to not go through with it... She doesn't need them anymore... He did the ultimate test... To the T.. Soon, I won't be saying anything.... I don't care to know how blinded she is anymore. I want OUT.

Edited May 31, 2013 by Its_MEE
Typo

[Lillyfree]

i agree with alexandria about the texts - saying you will send them and then not doing it lends credibility to whatever cr*p xMM fed her. and paints you as a crazy biatch - the exact thing you wanted to avoid. says that you're a liar and bluffing...

 

in this case, while i sort of understand where you're coming from, i would send them.

[Saba]

Promotion? Congratulations!!

[Got it]

Mee,

 

Oh honey I am so sorry! (((((Meee)))) What a roller coaster week but it seems like there was a lot brewing in you and you had to say your piece. You are right, you don't deserve the mindf@ck of his.

 

My suggestion, before doing anything else, can you take a few days away and let your emotions settle down a little bit. Before you make a decision to send or not send the texts to her, before you do anymore communication with either party, before you have any more drama at work, take a breather moment, get yourself composed and come up with a plan for next steps.

 

You are right, you don't want to continue reacting emotionally, you want to be proactive not reactive.

 

I think if you do send her the texts, I would put them together, give her a clear picture of the whole history, and do it at 100%. But if you do that I would also recommend you also get an attorney to also have legal action to enforce NC from both of them. This has made your work a sticky situation and you don't want this to reflect anymore on your career than it has.

 

Keep your chin up, remember dignified and composed right now, the least emotional person (publicly) is the most in control. He is a douche, he created this and he is ping ponging trying to save his butt. He is not being true to either woman and doesn't deserve either one of you. Try and start thinking through all scenarios and your reaction to them so you are prepared.

 

((((Meee))))) Take care of you, do you have IC? I would strongly recommend the support. I also recommend speaking to an attorney as well so you know your legal rights.

[georgia girl]

At this point, it's over and done with. I wouldn't send the text. If he EVER contacts you again, I would print out every single one of those texts and, along with a certified letters to both him and her, I would send the texts. Additionally, I would give a copy of those texts to a trusted friend for safekeeping.

 

MEE, healing is the hardest process. And believe it or not, it's already begun. You are strong. You will survive. And I am so proud of you.

[lilmisscantbewrong]

Oh my - what drama. I am amazed, first of all, that he is acting like that. she obviously buys everything he is saying even though he has lied and lied before and there is nothing you can do about that. I also agree that if you said you were going to give her the texts you should do it. At this point she deserves the truth.

 

Change your contact information and do not ever talk to this man again. I know you are hurting badly, but he is doing you no favors at all. Let him deal in his marriage and ALONE - without you. What is so bad about this is that he is also playing his poor wife - now she might be okay with that, but both you and she deserve better than this kind of treatment.

 

I hope today is better for you! Hugs!

[Wellington]

I read the whole thing and I just want to give you the biggest hug. I'm so sorry you are hurting so badly right now.

You did the right thing in telling him to stay away from you. If he contacts you again please send a certified letter telling her informing her. I'm not normally a proponent of that, but she knows, she insisted on that "adorable" little scene, so now when he proves he's incapable of staying away like you said he woudln't, make sure she knows it.

Don't delete those texts either. Don't look at them, it'll damage you to do so,but don't delete them. You may someday want to send them and if the urge strikes you go for it.

Kudos to your boss for treating you well. YAY PROMOTION!!! Let's go celebrate. I'm buying the margaritas!

 

As for the rest.. I'm so sorry. *huge hugs*

I hope today is ok. If not I'll send ice cream.

 

Oh god love ya!! What a drama for sure. I commend you for meeting with them BOTH though. My goodness, I couldn't have done it. HUGE hugs!! You really are a strong woman! You got this.......you will be fine!

 

I totally agree with LFH on this one. I have never advocated for "outing" anyone unless I had been led into a relationship with someone under the guise of them being single. If my eyes are wide open going in, thats my problem. That being said though, you did lay your cards on the table then refused to play the hand. Do nothing, for now. Should he contact you again, all bets are off.

 

Enjoy your trip! DR is beautiful. Recharge, spoil yourself, hit the swim up bar.

[Athens]

He is addicted to the drama and you are getting that way too, for your own good, remove yourself from the situation that has nothing in it for you. Stop feeding his ego and start living your own life. You are worth more than this, everyone is.

[Finally Settled]

As I'm not here to win a popularity contest; I would not have allowed my exwife to treat my other woman that way. They did meet and I must admit I was hesitant, but at that point they needed to speak and it was past my participation.

 

I would not have allowed either of them to threaten showing up at the others work. I would also not have followed either to the meeting like a whipped puppy.

[underwater2010]

Please send her the texts. Right now he is busy covering his butt and she is falling for it. It is your reputation that she is going to ruin, not his. Give her the ammunition ASAP.

 

I am a BW and I did ask for all emails/texts she had to be forwarded. But she was more of the "what did he say" type, then willing to give information.

[Finally Settled]

Please send her the texts. Right now he is busy covering his butt and she is falling for it. It is your reputation that she is going to ruin, not his. Give her the ammunition ASAP.

 

I am a BW and I did ask for all emails/texts she had to be forwarded. But she was more of the "what did he say" type, then willing to give information.

 

I tried to edit so I could include something along these lines. I concur that you should give her full disclosure now. He is not deserving of your protection and she is deserving of your truth.

[Goodbye]

Wow...what a ass. He really brought it on himself. He gave you the greenlight to hate him. Sometimes that is what can give you true closer. I'm so sorry you had to go though that. Miserable.

[Finally Settled]

...but you were apparently okay with disrespecting both of them by treating them as your personal harem while you were boning both of them?

 

-ol' 2long

 

I have clearly stated in many posts that I was disrespectful of them both and treated them both shabbily. However I would not allow either to channel their anger at me to the other. I would no more knowingly allow my other woman to bully my exwife into a meeting any more than I would have allowed my exwife to threaten my other woman as the original poster was.

[DelusionalOne]

So.... MEE....

How are you doing today? Did you manage to get any sleep?

You need to make sure you take care of you, if not for yourself right now (and I know part of you just wants to die so you won't feel pain anymore), but for your Son. You are his whole world. I know you probably don't want to eat much so try an eat little things that are high in good calories.

If you like coconut... a smoothie with full fat coconut milk (usually comes in a can) with some whey protein and fruit will keep you going.

 

Check in. Let us know how you are doing.

[Goodbye]

LFH the BW DID NOT insist on that "adorable" scene. The BW was trying to get to the truth. She asked the OW to send her the messages and she refused so then she asked for a meeting in the hopes that she could get the truth that way. She didn't get it because her husband blantanly lied to everyones faces and the OW is still withholding the proof from her. Yet the BW will be blamed for not knowing the truth eventhough everyone is lying to her and withholding the information she needs.

 

 

Uhm, she knows, for certain, her husband had an affair, right? And according to you, cheater=skank? So...she isn't in the dark now, right?

[Its_MEE]

So.... MEE....

How are you doing today? Did you manage to get any sleep?

You need to make sure you take care of you, if not for yourself right now (and I know part of you just wants to die so you won't feel pain anymore), but for your Son. You are his whole world. I know you probably don't want to eat much so try an eat little things that are high in good calories.

If you like coconut... a smoothie with full fat coconut milk (usually comes in a can) with some whey protein and fruit will keep you going.

 

Check in. Let us know how you are doing.

 

Delusional,

Umm... Honestly. I'm not sure how I'm feeling.. I'm ok I guess.

I had an appt with my ENT today so I'm thinking a lot about that.. I feel like crap really. I'm so sleepy. 48hrs no sleep will do it to ya. I bought some fruit. Ate some apple pieces so that'll hold me for a little while. I do try to make myself eat. At least something. I have a fun file weekend planned with my baby boy so that'll be great. Pool, park, etc.

he's here @ work. Tried to be friendly (testing me) I completely ignored him, didn't look at him, haven't acknowledged him. We've talked about work. That is all. I'm disgusted by him right now. I've been busy all morning but I get moments where that ENTIRE night repeats in my head. His words, his posture, his eyes, his hair, shirt, etc. hers also. I am starting to pat myself on the back a little for even doing that. How humiliating.

I get moments where I feel the need to say something to him about that night that I remember now. But I won't. For what? Fernuffin. Thanks for checking up on me... I've been practicing breathing exercises because I get anxious outta nowhere at times. But.. I'm cool. As a cucumber.