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somedude81

By somedude81
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JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

Posted
Posted

 

What's a nightcap?

 

 

Wow. Not good that you live in Los Angeles and don't know what that is.

 

It's the last drink of the night.

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

Posted
Posted

somedude,

 

Again, you're gonna have to go with your instinct. You're asking us questions about a person and a situation that we are not a part of.

 

I mean, how are WE going to know whether or not you should offer up your bed and you take the couch? It depends on the "mood". If you guys have been having a nice, fun evening, but it's been pretty "innocent" so far, then be a gentleman and offer your bed and you take the couch. But, if you can tell that there's some sexual tension or if it's already pretty obvious where the night is headed..well...she might not even have to ask...you'll just end up in your bed.

 

If she's not 21, and you don't know if she drinks or not, don't offer a drink.

 

I know this is going to be pretty hard to do, but do NOT think about sex or what may happen at the end of the night. Just don't. It will make you preoccupied and nervous. Again, easier said than done, but it's best to just push that thought out of your head and just have fun.

  • Like 4
clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted

Do not offer her a drink if she is under 21.

  • Like 1
JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

Posted
Posted
Hah, this is probably who I've always been. I just needed a girl that would let me shift out of neutral.

 

You seem to be the same person.

 

So, what would you say was different this time around?

Eclypse Established Member

Eclypse

Posted
Posted
Do not offer her a drink if she is under 21.

 

Damn Americans! Can drive alone at 16 but can't drink till 21. Move to Australia, much better!

 

Anyway are people really anal about 20 year olds drinking there?

  • Like 1
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
Posted

FYI I don't think SD did anything different this time around. He just kept on trying, facing rejection and going for girl after girl and finally, the luck smiled down at him. Luck is a huge element in dating (as much as people will tell you otherwise) but you still have to put yourself out there. You can't win lotto if you don't buy a lottery ticket :)

  • Like 4
BluEyeL Established Member

BluEyeL

Posted
Posted
Haha damn. You sound like a stone cold pimp with this post.

 

Total 360 from a few months ago.

 

Awesome transformation bro!

 

You mean 180 degrees ;)

JuneJulySeptember Established Member

JuneJulySeptember

Posted
Posted
You mean 180 degrees ;)

 

Right. My dating life feels like a 360. I keep spinning round and round but end up going the same way.

  • Author
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
  • Author
Posted
somedude,

 

Again, you're gonna have to go with your instinct. You're asking us questions about a person and a situation that we are not a part of.

 

I mean, how are WE going to know whether or not you should offer up your bed and you take the couch? It depends on the "mood". If you guys have been having a nice, fun evening, but it's been pretty "innocent" so far, then be a gentleman and offer your bed and you take the couch.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. If it was a pretty innocent evening, and we haven't been making out like crazy, I would be a gentleman.

 

But, if you can tell that there's some sexual tension or if it's already pretty obvious where the night is headed..well...she might not even have to ask...you'll just end up in your bed.

And maybe it will go down that way as well. I just don't want to send her off on her way home right when we get back to my place. Which she might end up doing in the first place. She lives with her parents and that might want her back home by a certain time.

If she's not 21, and you don't know if she drinks or not, don't offer a drink.

She's not 21 but she does drink in safe controlled environments. Mostly with family. She seems to have few glasses of wine several times a week. She's Italian, it's normal for her parents to poor her a glass. When we go shopping to buy ingredients, I'll ask if she wants wine and pick up a bottle.

I know this is going to be pretty hard to do, but do NOT think about sex or what may happen at the end of the night. Just don't. It will make you preoccupied and nervous. Again, easier said than done, but it's best to just push that thought out of your head and just have fun.

During then, I won't be thinking about sex at all. But right now, damn right it's on my mind. I at least want to construct a situation where sex is possible.

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

Posted
Posted

SD,

 

You sound like you're on the right track...so just go out and have fun.

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FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted

The line that men have used on me in the past is:

 

"You are welcome to spend the night if you want. It's up to you."

 

They are basically giving you the control as to whether sex is on the table (or in the bed).

 

I agree that you shouldn't be thinking about it being a goal, just a possibility. Prepare everything as if it were going to happen, just in case. If it doesn't happen then it will certainly happen very soon, so don't get anxious.

  • Like 1
KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

Posted
Posted
I wouldn't be so passive. Tell her she's welcome to spend the night after you've had sex. Example you're both laying there all sweaty "you're welcome to spend the night." Than morning sex.

 

Right now it's more likely than not she'll be insulted if you don't try to have sex with her.

 

Please just go away. You're not funny (assuming you are trying to be) and if you're serious you're one disturbed individual.

  • Like 1
Woohoo Established Member

Woohoo

Posted
Posted (edited)

Great Job dude!

 

First, let me post the best piece of advice anyone every gave me on dating advice.

 

"You know this situation better than ANY of us"

 

For all the combined knowledge you see the details better, so our broad advice can only take you so far at this point.

 

Great plan btw on food, shopping, dancing etc.

 

Whether or not your "ready" for sex is the mature question.

 

The realistic question is "will you want sex when you are making out with her."

 

(Buy condoms in advance, btw, if you have time take a couple and practice BOTH putting them on AND, uhhh, pleasing yourself with one on) also, buy a bra and practice unsnapping. When I was younger this was very embarassing so get this out of the way. "*black hat Woohoo tip! * : As I am walking distance from downtown urban environment I often love to hurl myself into the city and hitch rides from place to place without my car. This gives an additional excuse to have a girl give me a lift home :) If a girl and I are flirting and I am getting a ride I mastered the one handed bra unsnap through the shirt. Use it just before leaving their vehicle. Always gets an Oooooh! response from the girl and they NEVER forget that. I use this if I'm out with a girl now as well."

 

Honestly, with how things are going, her driving over and working out the logistics not only is she really "wanting it" she is setting it up.

 

Remember. SHE IS 20! Remember your hormones at that age? She wants to ride the SD train. You can keep the chase as long as you can keep her amped up and thinking about you. Frankly, you have done a really good job of that so far so all you have to do is refine details and what you are doing will work!

 

Other bits : Get physical early. Once you pass that initial level of intimacy women love this, also shows you are in charge, and you can slowly pump their physical hornyness over the night. By the end they will clearly be "ready."

 

Never forget to use pauses, body language and "thinking" to control the pace.

 

Most importantly of all. Go with your instincts! They have got you this far! My advice from here out may not be applicable based on details. Can NOT wait to see the followup.

 

Trying to think back to uhhhh, less experienced problems, when I was younger I learned if you were having trouble finding, the uhh, hole, take her hand, suckle her fingers and say "guide me in."

Edited by Woohoo
  • Like 1
  • Author
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'd be a hypocrite if I told somedude to stop posting here but kept doing it myself don't you think?

Eh, your last couple of jokes have been stinkers.

Great Job dude!

 

First, let me post the best piece of advice anyone every gave me on dating advice.

 

"You know this situation better than ANY of us"

 

For all the combined knowledge you see the details better, so our broad advice can only take you so far at this point.

Yeah I understand that. I'm the only one who sees what is going on and knows how I feel.

 

But I'm not going to deny that I have gotten great advice all over this forum. This experience is still very new and somebody who has been doing this sort of thing longer than I have, will be able to interpret the situation in different ways. Also there have been a few times where I've used lines that somebody has suggested to good effect. Of course I only say things that actually sound like I could say them.

Great plan btw on food, shopping, dancing etc.

Thanks. Everything just seemed to fall into place. These were also things I've been wanting to do with a girl for a very long time. Just now I finally found somebody who would let me do them.

 

Whether or not your "ready" for sex is the mature question.

 

The realistic question is "will you want sex when you are making out with her."

If we do get to the point where we are seriously making out, I will want to and try to have sex with her. Of course if she tells me to stop I will.

 

(Buy condoms in advance, btw, if you have time take a couple and practice BOTH putting them on AND, uhhh, pleasing yourself with one on)

Heh, I already did both before you posted. No problems there.

 

 

also, buy a bra and practice unsnapping. When I was younger this was very embarassing so get this out of the way. "*black hat Woohoo tip! * : As I am walking distance from downtown urban environment I often love to hurl myself into the city and hitch rides from place to place without my car. This gives an additional excuse to have a girl give me a lift home :) If a girl and I are flirting and I am getting a ride I mastered the one handed bra unsnap through the shirt. Use it just before leaving their vehicle. Always gets an Oooooh! response from the girl and they NEVER forget that. I use this if I'm out with a girl now as well."

LOL, I'll think I'll pass on this for now.

 

Odds are if we're making out on my bed and I get her shirt off. I'll tell her to sit up and turn her back to me so I could take off her bra.

Honestly, with how things are going, her driving over and working out the logistics not only is she really "wanting it" she is setting it up.

 

Remember. SHE IS 20! Remember your hormones at that age? She wants to ride the SD train.

I really don't know if she is thinking about sex at this point. Or maybe she is?

 

I don't have a clue how the female sex drive works.

 

You can keep the chase as long as you can keep her amped up and thinking about you. Frankly, you have done a really good job of that so far so all you have to do is refine details and what you are doing will work!

 

Other bits : Get physical early. Once you pass that initial level of intimacy women love this, also shows you are in charge, and you can slowly pump their physical hornyness over the night. By the end they will clearly be "ready."

 

Never forget to use pauses, body language and "thinking" to control the pace.

 

Most importantly of all. Go with your instincts! They have got you this far! My advice from here out may not be applicable based on details. Can NOT wait to see the followup.

 

Trying to think back to uhhhh, less experienced problems, when I was younger I learned if you were having trouble finding, the uhh, hole, take her hand, suckle her fingers and say "guide me in."

Thanks for the tips.

 

Yeah, I'll fallow my instincts they've worked pretty well for me when I was with her. Frankly I'm amazed it even got this far.

  • Author
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Thanking LS for all the bad advice given here? That's classic.

The advice recently given to me is a huge reason why I've progressed this far with the girl.

 

Heck I probably wouldn't even have asked her out if somebody didn't suggest it.

 

Of course I know when to ignore the junk.

HoneyBadgerDontCare Established Member

HoneyBadgerDontCare

Posted
Posted
She's not 21

 

Somedude, aren't you like 32?

 

If so, pimp status! Mad props!

 

I hope to be pulling girls under 21 when I'm in my 30s. :D

  • Like 1
Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
She's not 21 but she does drink in safe controlled environments. Mostly with family. She seems to have few glasses of wine several times a week.

 

Please, do yourself a favor and check her ID before you get physical.

  • Like 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Established Member

HoneyBadgerDontCare

Posted
Posted
Please, do yourself a favor and check her ID before you get physical.

 

Don't do this, SD.

 

Losers check IDs. Winners go home and f*ck the prom queen.

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

Posted
Posted
Please, do yourself a favor and check her ID before you get physical.

 

He took a college course with her...it's safe to say she's at least of legal age.

TheBigQuestion Established Member

TheBigQuestion

Posted
Posted
Somedude, aren't you like 32?

 

If so, pimp status! Mad props!

 

I hope to be pulling girls under 21 when I'm in my 30s. :D

 

Hahaha, seconded. :p

 

SD, as unpopular and offensive as the notion of you going on dates with women who are 10+ years younger than you will be to some posters here, you're nevertheless pretty much living the dream of a large contingent of single men in their 30s right now. It's yet another reason to tip my hat to you. After all the years of failure, you're entitled to be just a tad cocky and self-satisfied. :) I wish you continued luck, and look forward to reading your updates, whatever ends up happening.

  • Like 1
Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
He took a college course with her...it's safe to say she's at least of legal age.

 

Oh, really? It's safe to risk criminal prosecution for statutory rape?

 

I had 18 college credits by the time I was 18, as did several of my friends.

 

Her close family in the OC won't take too kindly to a 32 year old sexing their kin.

  • Like 1
TheBigQuestion Established Member

TheBigQuestion

Posted
Posted
Oh, really? It's safe to risk criminal prosecution for statutory rape?

 

I had 18 college credits by the time I was 18, as did several of my friends.

 

Her close family in the OC won't take too kindly to a 32 year old sexing their kin.

 

High school kids with college credits almost always get them by taking AP exams, distance learning, or summer courses. It's mighty rare that they're physically present at a college campus. Unless the lady in question graduated a few years early, I'd say SD is safe.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
High school kids with college credits almost always get them by taking AP exams, distance learning, or summer courses. It's mighty rare that they're physically present at a college campus. Unless the lady in question graduated a few years early, I'd say SD is safe.

 

Are you telling me I wasn't on a college campus at 17 with my friends? They weren't AP classes. They were college courses, on campus, at the local JC. We were able to have two periods off from school to attend the JC. And three of my friends didn't turn 18 until well into their freshman year of college.

 

This practice is incredibly common in California, where SD lives.

 

But hey! If he wants to risk having to register as a sex offender, by all means, don't verify her age!

  • Like 1
TheBigQuestion Established Member

TheBigQuestion

Posted
Posted
Are you telling me I wasn't on a college campus at 17 with my friends? They weren't AP classes. They were college courses, on campus, at the local JC. We were able to have two periods off from school to attend the JC. And three of my friends didn't turn 18 until well into their freshman year of college.

 

This practice is incredibly common in California, where SD lives.

 

SD goes to a junior college? That's news to me. Either way, you're right that plenty of high schools have a similar arrangement with community colleges. It happens on the east coast too. I guess I just don't consider those schools to really be "college."

 

By all means, SD, if you're paranoid enough about the age issue and you can clandestinely check her ID, go for it. Also, if your school has a public student directory, I'd check her out on it since that's a lot easier to do. Those directories usually have projected graduation years. Chances are if her graduation date is 2014 or 2015, she's well above the age of consent.

TheBigQuestion Established Member

TheBigQuestion

Posted
Posted
I think this is a case of wishful thinking because you don't like men around your age going out with much younger women yet I doubt you would ever give him the time of day in real life so you are whining for no reason.

 

I wouldn't go that far. I think that Star Gazer's super-lawyer senses started tingling and felt compelled to warn SD as a result.

  • Like 3
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