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somedude81

By somedude81
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fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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SD,

 

Now is about the time you should take a huge step away from LS and do things based on how you feel and what.

 

Honestly...the best part of first relationships is the exploration and discovering things on your own. On your OWN. Coming here for more advice is like watching a new movie with a whole bunch of people whispering in your ear about what they THINK is going to happen next.

 

This.

 

And, you should start doing what Barry Sanders said he would do when he took a handoff: turn off your brain and just go with the flow. Stop thinking, when you think you'll be stopped in the backfield for a five yard loss.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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SD,

 

Now is about the time you should take a huge step away from LS and do things based on how you feel and what.

 

Honestly...the best part of first relationships is the exploration and discovering things on your own. On your OWN. Coming here for more advice is like watching a new movie with a whole bunch of people whispering in your ear about what they THINK is going to happen next.

I don't think I'm ready for that just yet.

 

You've seen the things that I wanted to tell her and basically everybody told me not to.

 

Not necessarily tongue, but a real kiss. Not just a few short pecks on the cheek or the lips. I did try to tell you that she wanted that. I would suggest not trying to build up something in her mind with comments like "There is something I need to talk to you about" and then putting off the discussion. That has an ominous tone, and is not likely to go well. People start jumping to negative conclusions when comments like that are made. And please be careful what you disclose about yourself to her. You want to come across as a fun guy, a guy who loves life, an interesting guy, and one who is desirable. No confessions about your tendency to get friendzoned or anything that would put you down. Don't put yourself down, or make yourself sound unsuccessful. When the conversation comes to your past, let her know that you've been very selective with who you date (which is true), so you don't have a history of several failed romances (which is true).

Thanks a bunch KathyM.

 

I had no idea about the ominous tone. I just don't think about those things in complicated ways. So I had no idea that she would try to interpret it in certain ways.

 

I really like the suggestions you gave. Yeah I can say that I've been very selective and it's been a long time that I felt this excited about somebody. Which is also what FitChick said.

 

Sex seems to be a couple few dates away so I don't want to think about stuff like that yet. Frankly I can't even believe that I'm in a situation where sex is even a possibility. I'm almost in denial about it.

 

If you feel inspired, YES! Passion is sooooo HOT!

 

 

 

Don't think. Feel. Your lips touch, your bodies press, your mind shuts off, and you feel it.

 

Keep in mind, a kiss is a mutual kind of thing. The kiss is half her creation.

 

She won't be disappointed. She wants a kiss from you, not a perfect kiss.

OK, that makes more sense. It's not something to think about, and something to just do.

 

Alright I'm looking forward to next time. Which still hasn't been set yet. I''m going to call her when she gets off work.

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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Very impressive, SD. Very impressive indeed.

 

At this rate, you will eventually be a dating teacher.

 

.....

 

My lord, would that be a scary thought to go through.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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OP, as you've already received some great advice here, I'll add my congratulations and wish for you a memorable summer of 2013. The summer of 'feel'. Good luck.

sillyanswer Established Member

sillyanswer

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So yeah, apparently she wanted tongue.

 

Like I said, always leave them wanting more. :)

sillyanswer Established Member

sillyanswer

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ROFL!

 

And of course I don't have a clue what's going on :o

 

One of the big secrets of dating is that none of the rest of us have a clue what's going on either. So don't worry about it. :D

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Ok something is in the process of happening.

 

I told her that I want to go Salsa dancing with her on Wednesday at a place that is in her town. Unfortunately she works that night and can't go. But she has asked me when the salsa is in my town and she's fine driving over here.

 

As I said before, it's about a 45 minute drive between us.

 

Frankly, if we do go to salsa in my city, there is a decent chance she might end up staying over at my place.

 

A part of me actually wants to tell her no, that it's not a good idea, another part wants to talk about the possibility of something happening, yet another thinks it's a fine idea and just see how things go and that night may tell her that he doesn't want her driving home late at night and that she should stay over.

 

Hoy!

HoneyBadgerDontCare Established Member

HoneyBadgerDontCare

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Ok something is in the process of happening.

 

I told her that I want to go Salsa dancing with her on Wednesday at a place that is in her town. Unfortunately she works that night and can't go. But she has asked me when the salsa is in my town and she's fine driving over here.

 

As I said before, it's about a 45 minute drive between us.

 

Frankly, if we do go to salsa in my city, there is a decent chance she might end up staying over at my place.

 

A part of me actually wants to tell her no, that it's not a good idea, another part wants to talk about the possibility of something happening, yet another thinks it's a fine idea and just see how things go and that night may tell her that he doesn't want her driving home late at night and that she should stay over.

 

Hoy!

 

Don't bring it up.

 

Just go on the date and roll with it. See how things play out.

 

Remember, whether you want to have sex or not, you're the man. So you lead. You're in the driver's seat.

 

Good luck and congrats on your recent success!

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Ok, then I'll just let things happen and see where it goes.

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KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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Go with your inner horn dog and tell her it's to late to drive home after the salsa dancing. Spring it on her like a trap. She'll think you're really considerate. Think of the salsa dancing as foreplay for the sex you'll have when you bring her home.

 

You can break the law and give her some vodka and cranberry when you get her home.

 

Da fuq?

 

I hope you were joking.

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KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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Ok, then I'll just let things happen and see where it goes.

 

This. Always this.

 

BTW, you know how to salsa? That rocks. I can fake it a bit but have considered formal lessons. How long do you think would take to just get some of the basics down?

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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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Don't bring it up.

 

Just go on the date and roll with it. See how things play out.

 

Remember, whether you want to have sex or not, you're the man. So you lead. You're in the driver's seat.

 

Good luck and congrats on your recent success!

Meanwhile though clean your place regardless! No gross bathroom for starters!

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KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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Meanwhile though clean your place regardless! No gross bathroom for starters!

 

And hide all your manga comics and Star Wars action figures!

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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This. Always this.

 

BTW, you know how to salsa? That rocks. I can fake it a bit but have considered formal lessons. How long do you think would take to just get some of the basics down?

Dude, we met in a Salsa class. Yeah I'm pretty decent at it. Frankly the only reason I haven't gotten really good is because I never had a steady partner.

 

The basics to be proficient at dancing, I'd say about 3 classes. Since the guys are the leaders, they have to know what moves to do, how to do them, and when to do them and what connections can be made.

 

Meanwhile though clean your place regardless! No gross bathroom for starters!

Hah, my mom said the same thing. Yeah I need to clean my place up. Especially now that she is coming over Thursday. We're also going to dinner before we go out.

And hide all your manga comics and Star Wars action figures!

She actually has a nerdy side to her. So no need.

Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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Nice! Welcome to the Summer of Somedude!

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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This is outstanding. Glad to hear that things are still going well.

 

I'm not going to say it... :laugh:

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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We're also going to dinner before we go out.

Whoops, didn't get all the words in.

 

I meant to say that we are going to cook dinner before we go out. So she will come over to my place. Then we'll go shopping. Come back, cook and eat. Then go out to the club. Come back late, and then see what happens.

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HoneyBadgerDontCare Established Member

HoneyBadgerDontCare

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Whoops, didn't get all the words in.

 

I meant to say that we are going to cook dinner before we go out. So she will come over to my place. Then we'll go shopping. Come back, cook and eat. Then go out to the club. Come back late, and then see what happens.

 

Haha damn. You sound like a stone cold pimp with this post.

 

Total 360 from a few months ago.

 

Awesome transformation bro!

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Haha damn. You sound like a stone cold pimp with this post.

 

Total 360 from a few months ago.

 

Awesome transformation bro!

Hah, this is probably who I've always been. I just needed a girl that would let me shift out of neutral.

 

Of course no girls let me get this far, so all I could do is think about plans that could take me to the big moment, and then I have no idea what to do if that time ever came.

 

Now should I buy condoms before she comes over. Or when we are at the market?

 

:lmao:

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HoneyBadgerDontCare Established Member

HoneyBadgerDontCare

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Hah, this is probably who I've always been. I just needed a girl that would let me shift out of neutral.

 

Of course no girls let me get this far, so all I could do is think about plans that could take me to the big moment, and then I have no idea what to do if that time ever came.

 

Now should I buy condoms before she comes over. Or when we are at the market?

 

:lmao:

 

Before she comes over.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Something else I've wondered about.

 

If we came back from the club and have the discussion where I tell her that she should stay over, and sex is still a a big question mark; should I offer her my bed and that I'll sleep on the couch. Or tell her that I'll set up the couch for her?

 

If I'm not making any sense this is what I mean.

 

We get back to my place at 12.

 

Her: I had a lot of fun, but I should be going now.

Me: I don't want you driving home this late.

Her: Oh, where am I going to sleep?

Eclypse Established Member

Eclypse

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Well she's not a little girl anymore. If I was a woman I'd be pretty offended the guy I was dating thought me incapable of driving myself home late at night.

 

By all means offer her a nightcap, but don't be pushy if she'd prefer to drive home. Anyway, you'll know well before then if she wants to sleep with you ;)

 

I've got to say I'm very impressed. You've gone from decades in the wilderness to third date sex!

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Well she's not a little girl anymore. If I was a woman I'd be pretty offended the guy I was dating thought me incapable of driving myself home late at night.

 

By all means offer her a nightcap, but don't be pushy if she'd prefer to drive home. Anyway, you'll know well before then if she wants to sleep with you ;)

 

I've got to say I'm very impressed. You've gone from decades in the wilderness to third date sex!

I don't think she's incapable of driving herself home or would I give her that impression. It's just general concern. As I've already said, personally I don't like long drives late at night.

 

What's a nightcap?

 

There's no way I'll be pushy with wanting to stay over or have sex. If she stays over but wants me to sleep on the couch, I'll stay on the couch.

 

All this confusion is why I wanted to go to salsa in her city.

 

Personally, I think it's too soon for sex, but if she wants it, I'm not going to say no.

Edited by somedude81
tman666 Established Member

tman666

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Don't "give her your bed and sleep on the couch". Haha.

 

It's your apartment, dude! If she wants to stay, she stays in your bed, with you... No, you don't need to discuss this with her beforehand or during. If sex isn't happening (which I have no idea why it wouldn't at this point :laugh:), just hop into bed and let her be the little spoon.

 

If she tries to kick you out of your own bed on the third date, run for the hills!

 

Also: a nightcap: a drink after you guys get back from salsa. Get a bottle of wine (with your condoms, beforehand). The goal here, btw, is NOT to "get her drunk". That's not the right mindset. It's to help both of you loosen up, relax, and help with the flow of communication.

Eclypse Established Member

Eclypse

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What Tman said. Also a nightcap was traditionally worn on the head in bed. I don't think it would be in fashion anymore. Inviting someone in for a nightcap esentially means you want them to spend the night with you. Apologies: this is what happens when you grow up in a country still tied to its British colonial roots! I forget others didnt.

 

Regarding your condom question earlier, get it sorted beforehand. It might make her nervous if you buy some while she's with you. That's the sort of thing you do when you're a bit more estaished. I remember me and my girlfriend buying condoms at the supermarket and giggling at the cash register (it was the only thing we bought)!

Edited by Eclypse
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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