michaelbluth Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Today I really missed her. Of course I am not going to contact her. But I missed her so I looked up old gchats we had. It was a terrible idea. It made me remember how close we were and how important I was to her. $*%& me. I am 28 and have been though numerous breakups. I know that eventually I will feel better. But its now three months and I just want to feel better. I know that avoiding the gchats will help, no one needs to tell me that. I just want to talk.
metal_chick Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Today I really missed her. Of course I am not going to contact her. But I missed her so I looked up old gchats we had. It was a terrible idea. It made me remember how close we were and how important I was to her. $*%& me. I am 28 and have been though numerous breakups. I know that eventually I will feel better. But its now three months and I just want to feel better. I know that avoiding the gchats will help, no one needs to tell me that. I just want to talk. I like to delete all forms of communication. I don't wait. The second it's over, I dump all of it. Sometimes we like to wait a little while and be 'ready' to delete stuff. We're better to just delete it, immediately, then if we miss it, there's nothing we can do about it. It's something to consider. Good luck. 3
CelticGibson Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Part of going No Contact is to remove any and all "triggers" that could cause you to relapse. Removing their phone number, their emails, their texts, the gifts you shared, ect ect. It's important to do a "spring clean" to remove the past so, as MetalChick states, there is nothing you can do about it if you even second guess your decision. If you are serious about No Contact, you would remove it all.... The sooner the better...
OzHeartache Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I like to delete all forms of communication. I don't wait. The second it's over, I dump all of it. Sometimes we like to wait a little while and be 'ready' to delete stuff. We're better to just delete it, immediately, then if we miss it, there's nothing we can do about it. It's something to consider. Good luck. Did the same, FB, Instagram and whatsapp messages, Got hundreds of pics on my phone but need to clean everything off this weekend.... I also dropped all her stuff from my house off on her front doorstep the very next day while she was at work.....was tough to do I'll admit but....really its the only way (as per the official "NC Guide" ) 1
Author michaelbluth Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 I have blocked her on fb, deleted texts and pictures, pretty much done everything to distance myself but the gchats. I don't know why I have been so hesitant to do so when I ripped the band-aid off so to speak with the other "triggers." I need to do this.
metal_chick Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I have blocked her on fb, deleted texts and pictures, pretty much done everything to distance myself but the gchats. I don't know why I have been so hesitant to do so when I ripped the band-aid off so to speak with the other "triggers." I need to do this. I had hundreds of emails from xMM, and every one of them made me feel, as they say, like "the prettiest girl at the party". If I'd kept them, I would still be reading them. The second we ended things, I didn't even reread them - I just hit Select All/Delete. You'll be better for it, I promise. :-)
Author michaelbluth Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Thanks everyone. I appreciate people responding. I can't right now but when I get home I will.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Yep, I agree with every poster here. It took me a little while to delete everything- knowing the "permanancy" of it all made it feel scary. I wished I'd done it sooner. Get rid of ALL that crap! There's nothing worth keeping. Your ex, just like mine, sure doesn't have any of our stuff!
Hockeyguy19 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Yep, I agree with every poster here. It took me a little while to delete everything- knowing the "permanancy" of it all made it feel scary. I wished I'd done it sooner. Get rid of ALL that crap! There's nothing worth keeping. Your ex, just like mine, sure doesn't have any of our stuff! Mine took all at pictures, photo albums, scrap books, stuffed animals etc, and apparently has them still out.. Not that I give a **** right now, at times I do but I'm getting to a better place with it. I wondered why weeks ago she did that, but now I don't care. It's her life, she can do what she pleases lol
crazy1234 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Today I really missed her. Of course I am not going to contact her. But I missed her so I looked up old gchats we had. It was a terrible idea. It made me remember how close we were and how important I was to her. $*%& me. I am 28 and have been though numerous breakups. I know that eventually I will feel better. But its now three months and I just want to feel better. I know that avoiding the gchats will help, no one needs to tell me that. I just want to talk. I dont know what to tell you but to get rid of them if you dont want yourself to cause more pain OR buy a blank cd and write them on the cd.Keep it out of your reach like giving it to a trustworthy friend and then delete them from you'r pc ,laptop.You wont feel any better as long as they are in you'r reach and trust me once they are out of you'r reach u'll feel you'r pain alleviate to a large extent.
itto ogami Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 It's funny, hours after I was dumped I deleted our ginormous Facebook thread without torturing myself by re-reading all the hours of sext and affection. Didn't think I would but boy, I'm glad it wasn't there during the thick of NC. Would have been very unhealthy. Deleting that stuff is a sign of strength.
BustedUpInside Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 It's funny, hours after I was dumped I deleted our ginormous Facebook thread without torturing myself by re-reading all the hours of sext and affection. Didn't think I would but boy, I'm glad it wasn't there during the thick of NC. Would have been very unhealthy. Deleting that stuff is a sign of strength. It is so hard to delete that stuff. It really cemented the breakup in my mind. Like by deleting that stuff I was finally admitting that it was over and that was really scary. I did it, but sometimes I still feel the urge to read them and I am even a little sorry that they are all gone. I guess what I am saying is that I know how you feel. It does get better, but missing the good times is the worst!
LostOne1 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I've kept emails my ex sent me. The thing is I get lots of emails from people, so hers are back logged in many sets back. But if I search her name I'd see them all. TO be honest, I bet my ex deleted ALL our pictures and emails etc.. I know she is that cold hearted and in fact she told me she deleted any memory of me that she has. I keep stuff, because I know one day I'll look back and remember what I had at one point. Plus its a good way to learn some lessons or a reminder as to WHY this relationship failed and how I if I am in a new one that I must work on X things to be better. The memories will hurt now after 1 year, so I avoid them for now. But I know when im in a new relationship, they will be good reminders of how I was as a person and how I want to be better. I know at the end of the day even if my ex cheated on me. There was one time she DID love me a lot. I know that for sure and maybe that love is totally gone now. But at least I know someone even for 1 small moment loved me a lot. And I can live with that and move on knowing someone else will have a moment with me in the future. Life is too short to cry and waste my friends. Soon you'll look back and wonder where the hell the years went and wish you never wasted them on crying over someone. So smile and know that life is short and go make the most of it. I've joined lots of groups and I get myself out there meeting new people. It's the best way to see what life is with other people rather than just one special someone. I spent the last 3 years of my life with my ex and ONLY her. gave up all my friends and neglected other people JUST for her. Now I live for myself and to meet other wonderful people out there. I've made an enormous amount of friends each time I go to a meet up. The difference between me and my ex is that she cheated on me and has found a new guy and ONLY wants him to herself. She has no other friends and does not socialize with other people. I was the same like her, but the difference is I am out there socializing with others. And, I have to say it's awesome to see the world through other peoples eyes and experiences. So remember life is TOO SHORT to cry and weep. There is so much you can do, so don't let heart break wreck it for you. I thought my life was over, and then I realized no it isn't I got lots to give and lots to learn. So Smile Your just getting started! 1
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