sweetheart5381 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Hi all I visit here most nights and try to give a lil insight wherever appropriate based on my personal experiences. I don't start threads too often, unless something is REALLY on my mind. I met a guy just over a month ago that I really, really connect with. He is a technician and he installed my cable and internet service when I moved. We were complete strangers, but in the span of a couple hrs it didn't feel that way. We talked the whole time he was working, just about everyday stuff. He is funny, he made me laugh, I made him laugh too. We ended up spending an hr even after his job was finished having a beer and just talking (it was a very hot Saturday and it was the end of his shift so I offered a cold drink, enjoying the conversation). We started out really slow, he didn't overtly hit on me, was always respectful. After a few days of texting (and a night of hanging out, getting to know one another as "new friends" and no, absolutely no sex) he asked me out on a real date to a movie. During the date he was a complete gentleman. He would brush his hand across mine or put his hand on my knee, but never pressed for more. (We kissed the last time we hung out but that's it. Crazy sexual chemistry for sure though!). Fast forward a month and we are exclusive. It just felt right. Within a few weeks we both made it clear that we do not want to share with anyone else. We both want a relationship. Not casual sex, no FWB, just us. We spend a couple nights together a week now when we can (we both have kids, are single parents). When we can't be together it's cool, we both understand that we have obligations and we find time everyday to talk. I guess I just sorta wonder, does this stuff really happen? I don't sense any red flags, no caution light. I suppose my lack of caution scares me! It feels like love in the making. "Somebody, stop me!!" rings a bell 1
Phantom888 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I think it's reasonable to have strong feelings really early. I think it's great you guys are exclusive within a month. I would love to be exclusive ASAP because I don't want to wait, but I don't want to rush things and scare off my lady. Only thing that concerns me is that he met you during his job. He is gonna meet a lot of ladies doing his job. Are you okay with that? I mean, the circumstances of meeting was very ordinary. What if another lady offered to give him sex for free cable? Wait...that was a porno I saw before... But seriously, isn't it against company policy to date a client?
Author sweetheart5381 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 I think it's reasonable to have strong feelings really early. I think it's great you guys are exclusive within a month. I would love to be exclusive ASAP because I don't want to wait, but I don't want to rush things and scare off my lady. Only thing that concerns me is that he met you during his job. He is gonna meet a lot of ladies doing his job. Are you okay with that? I mean, the circumstances of meeting was very ordinary. What if another lady offered to give him sex for free cable? Wait...that was a porno I saw before... But seriously, isn't it against company policy to date a client? Ya, I hear ya there about dating a client, but in this case it's a one-off. We would have never ever met again in all likelihood. By contrast, I work with plenty of gentlemen too that actually attempt to bang me/screw me, etc, everyday as I work in an office. This guy didn't make a physical move on me, even though he could have. I'm sure he meets plenty of ladies on the job, but he doesn't seem the type to just screw a girl, if you know what I mean. We have talked at length about relationships, the differences between just wanting sex and wanting more.
juicygirl Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 No red flags is a good sign and it's going well. Don't let your insecurities ruin a good thing coz if you go looking for trouble it will find you. Relax enjoy the moment
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Enjoy! Good for you! Hope all goes well. No red flags, things like these do happen, yes! To the luckiest of us!
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 This stuff does happen, and I can speak from a great level of personal experience here as well having worked in people's homes. The biggest concern is the fact that you met him on the job. When I started working in people's homes I was never anticipating the situations I would find myself in or see/hear what I did. I didn't install cable tv, I did light construction/light plumbing work and I was there for a good several hours at least. It was also very heavily sales based, so building a rapport with people was crucial, if not the real difficulty in the job overall especially in Los Angeles, as it's quite diverse in cultures. It was very common for me to be offered drinks, dinner, food, and engage in conversation and "get close" or comfortable with people in a very short time. In this line of work (working in people's homes) if you are good at what you do and are a personable guy, many people can warm up to you and get quite comfortable...a bit too uncomfortably close, in a very short time. Personally I've had many advances and similar situations happen to me, however It was always my rule to separate business and pleasure...plus it wasn't just a few hundred bucks here and the situation had the potential to get nasty very quickly if there was some dispute of any kind over who knows what...there was city code involved, disputes over charges, necessary work or what not...you never know what people are going to do after you leave or even say, so it was never a wise choice for me to engage with these women....especially when a good chunk of them were married I can see in his position he's just installing cable, he might be more willing to poke a few vaginas in the work place. Was too risky and not very prudent however for me to engage in....I've been offered sex, stay-overs, dates, late-night dinners, and they weren't sleazy people or desperate...they were normal women, many of them actually very attractive and I'd be lying If I didn't at least pause and hesitate a time or two at their offer. If I had met some them on the street away from work there would have been no doubt about it whether to date them or not, they were definitely surprisingly compatible. So that's my take...I'd personally be a little careful and wary, I wouldn't expect him to be complete honest and open about all this either, I'm much more open right now here than I am or was with some of my co-workers and people I knew in real-life, and I definitely "down-played" the truth, obviously as well as to any one I would date or have a relationship with at the time, to prevent any unnecessary jealousy or suspicion as most people wouldn't have thought I'd encounter many things I did or situations I did "on the job". Especially in such a short time frame, it really didn't take long. Otherwise, everything seems to be going ok as of now...I don't think you have a full picture yet at all. 2
Author sweetheart5381 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Thanks for all your replies, they all have good advice in them. I have to admit that I don't normally feel as comfortable with a man as I do right now with him, and that in itself sorta makes me a little nervous. At first I questioned whether or not he tends to sleep with customers, but after getting to know him, I doubt it. He is a relationship man, not aggressive all in the pursuit for sex and spends as much time as he can with me, based on our work and family schedules. In fact, he is often early for dates/dinner and has gotten in trouble at work for coming to visit when he is working in the neighborhood. He is openly affectionate, talks to his friends about me and wants me to meet them. We've talked about each other to our children and are considering when a good would be to introduce ourselves to them. I'm very happy at this point, it's nice to find a man that is on the same page with me and not just looking for a random hookup when it suits their needs. We are clearly very struck with one another.. feels great!! Thanks again
Author sweetheart5381 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 So...you're concerned because things feel "right"? Yep... too right, if you know what I mean It's sort of like you get so used to disaster that you brace for it... but I don't really feel the need to brace for anything this time. I don't feel insecure, I don't feel inadequate, rather I feel cared for and desired and appreciated. It's ironic, my lack of fear and suspicion is making me scared!
imtooconfused Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 So...you're concerned because things feel "right"? Congratulations! It sounds like you won the lottery. Make sure to enjoy the feeling as long as it lasts. 1
Author sweetheart5381 Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 Congratulations! It sounds like you won the lottery. Make sure to enjoy the feeling as long as it lasts. Thank you and I certainly hope this feeling lasts. I think it will It's awesome to know you really, really like someone and that your feelings are reciprocated .... and its not just about the sex. You think about them and they think about you too and you both make an effort to show one another and open up. I may very well live to eat my words one day, but I honestly feel now that there is something very special that can happen between 2 people with open hearts. 1
imtooconfused Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Make sure to enjoy the feeling as long as it lasts. People will always change (you too). Relationships will always change. You should be aware that this may happen, but you don't have to plan for that or be overly worried about that. Because for this time in your life, it sounds like you have met the legendary soul mate. Many have struggled in vain to hunt for theirs, but your story shows that it can be who you least expect, even the cable guy.
sabre80 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Is it just me or did anyone else have corny porno music playing in their head while reading the first half of the OP's post? 1
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