mahon451 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 ... or at an online forum full of strangers. Yeah, some days are harder than others. Today was one of those days where the memories of what once was were flowing like margaritas on a hot day... so I'm a little less jovial than normal. I just needed to get that out... guess a trip to the gym might be in order. Followed by a drink or 3. Cheers. 5
McGriff Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 You sound like me. Those are my answers to down days as well 1
BustedUpInside Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I think you are doing pretty well. On my bad days, I have these ultimate revenge fantasies that are only complete when my ex is a broken shell of a man who is reduced to panhandling on the street for spare change. 4
Inzie2015 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Yep today was a down day for me too, all of the memories and unanswered questions flowing through my head. Today is 2 weeks since the brea up, I'm sick of feeling like crap but hang in there we can hope if will get better right! 1
Author mahon451 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Well, I'm not gonna say I don't have the revenge fantasies from time to time. Mine usually involve my ex getting old, fat and dying alone while I ride off into the sunset in a Ferrari with a trophy wife It's been a little over 3 months for me. While I miss her (a lot, actually), I have been incredibly proactive about changing things about my life that needed changing- working out 5+ times a week, hosting BBQs, playing and writing s**tloads of music, excelling at my job, spending more time outdoors and social... and I may have had a few ladyfriends help me through things as well I'm no longer desperately pining (the first month post-BU was... unpleasant)... but certain days I'll miss her more than others. She had some flaws, for sure, but our connection was something that I've never felt with anyone in almost 20 years of dating. Sometimes feels like the Twilight Zone. 2
McGriff Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Wow, little over 3 months since BU for me too, and I've been packing my schedule with activities as well. So I identify with what you're going through. Her BD tomorrow and I will ignore despite my missing her and wanting to break NC. Suuuuucks man. Much alcohol will be consumed this weekend.
Author mahon451 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Stay strong, McGriff. Just know that while your ex is coasting by and going about her business as usual, you are making forward strides as a person. Bonus- if you're hitting that gym, you're gonna be all sexified before you know it, and by the time you're over her, you'll be elbow-deep in prime trim, and you'll have your choice of wonderful ladies. Soldier through, buddy. Birthdays are tough, though, as are any other "important" days. I feel ya on that.
McGriff Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Mahon, Yeah, I agree with everything you say, and the thing is, I get attention from ladies, but I just can't bring myself to feel any attachment to them. None. Nada. Zilch. It's that "connection" you mentioned earlier to my ex. I mean it was AMAZING. And she felt it too. Trying to find that with someone else has been...elusive, to say the least. I've had "relations" with three really nice women since the BU, and I still feel as strongly about the ex as ever. That's scary. But I will let this day go by quietly on my end, as I've pretty much said and done all I can do, and let the cards fall where they may. 2
Esoteric Elf Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 guess a trip to the gym might be in order. Esoteric Elf approves. 1
umirano Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 1 week since BU here. I think she's a cool girl. But should lose some bad habits. Drugs, aggressiveness and indifference (drug induced?). I guess we're still in love, but I can't take her back before she's changed. Am I mad at her? Yeah, for some hurtful stunts she pulls off, and sees no reason to apologize for. But I think I am able to forgive her. She's going through a tough time and she's pretty young. I'm sorry for you guys who are still suffering from exes. You're done though. Clean up the mess and move on. It's what we always do and will keep doing till the day we die. Don't be such a bit.ch about it
Author mahon451 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 McGriff- don't sweat it. You won't find that connection right now, so don't try. Keep doing your thing... the only way to go is up.
nugget_718 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Well, I'm not gonna say I don't have the revenge fantasies from time to time. Mine usually involve my ex getting old, fat and dying alone while I ride off into the sunset in a Ferrari with a trophy wife It's been a little over 3 months for me. While I miss her (a lot, actually), I have been incredibly proactive about changing things about my life that needed changing- working out 5+ times a week, hosting BBQs, playing and writing s**tloads of music, excelling at my job, spending more time outdoors and social... and I may have had a few ladyfriends help me through things as well I'm no longer desperately pining (the first month post-BU was... unpleasant)... but certain days I'll miss her more than others. She had some flaws, for sure, but our connection was something that I've never felt with anyone in almost 20 years of dating. Sometimes feels like the Twilight Zone. I like the way you think and how you're handling your BU. Some would go the other way and become self destructive. It's always good to have company when you're down and miserable. And few lady friends at that...can't beat that! Of course you will still pine for her...you were in loved....once. But like everything...the pining passes too. Continue doing what you're doing and you'll see doors opening for you. Good luck! 2
L1ght Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I was walking to a 7/11 late at night one time and was listening to those crazy thoughts we sometimes get in our heads when we are wrestling with various issues that we need to get a handle on. I decided it would be a bright idea to just scream out at the top of my lungs any profanity I could think of and I did this for about a minute then stopped to catch my breathe before noticing some guy staring at me across the street....kinda awkward but I just said to myself f*ck it! and carried on to the 7/11. I see that guy around sometimes and he just gives me a slight glare then we both carry on about our day....life goes on and I don't regret doing it at all, I needed to let it out so I did.
LoveB86 Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I am having a down day right now. Kinda weird but I wasn't as bad post BU. But at 2 months, I feel like I am going backwards. Not sure why and the thoughts are with me till I fall asleep. I can take a bite out of a cheeseburger and it automatically reminds me of him. Geez, what the hell!! 1
seahawker64 Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Yea, me too. Been funky since yesterday and it won't go away. I hate this NC but I know it's for the best so I'll keep on it. I miss everything about her. Wish I didn't find the love of my life at this point. I hate this rollercoaster.
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