Scamprages Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 First of all we are both 29, and we both want to settle down in the near future. Saying that, we are very new.. only a month and I have no idea where we are going.. although I do know I really like him. Since we've started dating we have spent probably about 80% of our free time together. We've been having a lot of fun. Lately I feel things have been getting a bit more intense. But I think he might be afraid? For example: yesterday we were just laying there staring in each other eyes for about ten minutes.. then suddenly he looked away and act weird for like 30 mins. He is like that a lot. He is really affectionate.. and then gets kind of standy offfish. I mean we always cuddle.. but sometimes I feel he just gets.. Idk.. scared? When we aren't together we don't talk and hardly text. We never have. I don't know if I am just being insecure or if there is something wrong. I am just too old to be playing games. I really like him, I don't want to be too clingy, and tell him my concerns.
veggirl Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I would guess you guys moved too quickly into insta-relationship type behavior and now he is backing off because it was too much too soon. 80% of your free time? I'd scale that way back. You guys have known each other a month, it's way too soon to be jumping into like married couple territory. He's probably freaking out because things have gotten so serious in just a month.
Author Scamprages Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 I've seen relationships become much more serious much faster. Either of us are very clingly ( well we are cuddly..but that's different) and we aren't all mushy or anything. We just like being together.
Keenly Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 You are being a little....crazy on this one. Its been a month.... ONE month. 2
Lani Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Yeah, just take it easy.. He's probably a little worried about how fast things are going, and he needs a few minutes to work it out. It's likely he'll come around to the idea of this being long term, it's just all happening quicker than he'd anticipated. Just chill out, enjoy what you have for the moment and don't stress about it. Also- if someone were staring into my eyes for 10 minutes I'd probably freak too. Do people really do this? 1
Author Scamprages Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 I am just saying.. he has put himself out a lot more than I have. I was actually in a relationship at the time I met him ( I didnt cheat) but I had a connection with him.. and he told me he wanted me.. so I went for it. He is the one that wants me to come over. I also am scared of getting hurt, and usually put a guard up .. which I have been. But the last few days I've been slowly putting it down.. which scares me! I know it's only been a month, I said that! I said I have no idea where it's going, but I also rather know it it's going no where. But I do think we like each other. I just am scared. PS: It might of not been ten mins, but it was a while. And yes people do that. I love eye contact. It's very intimate.
Phantom888 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Let's not concentrate on the temporal aspect (time) of this. One month is a short while if you see each other once or twice a week. But if you hang out daily, that's many hours of getting to know one another. The important thing is that both of you are on the same page of how fast you want to go. Looks like he pulls back when things speed up. Every man reacts differently. He should be more mature and discuss it with you.
Lani Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I am just saying.. he has put himself out a lot more than I have. I was actually in a relationship at the time I met him ( I didnt cheat) but I had a connection with him.. and he told me he wanted me.. so I went for it. He is the one that wants me to come over. I also am scared of getting hurt, and usually put a guard up .. which I have been. But the last few days I've been slowly putting it down.. which scares me! I know it's only been a month, I said that! I said I have no idea where it's going, but I also rather know it it's going no where. But I do think we like each other. I just am scared. So you are scared. Not you thinking he is. Got it. Don't go in too hard too fast. Just enjoy what you have. Like you say, it has only been a month. Over analyzing things at this early stage is only a recipe for disaster.
juicygirl Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 He sounds bored, I'm sorry he just does. I know you don't want to believe you rushed thing because you have friends of friends and whoever that got together fast and it worked out. Too much, too fast and too easy. He wanted you and even tho you was with someone else you came running and now you spend 80% of your time with him. He know probably everything about you already and maybe even things he doesn't like too because you guys are getting too comfortable fast which normally happens much later when you're in love. My guess is you've had sex too soo all the chase and excitement is gone for him. 1
ReelAhdvice Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 just go with the flow and have fun while together
Adele0908 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Just cut back on the amount of time you spend together. Get with your friends, take care of your personal needs, maybe even take a vacation if you can. It's a case of too much, too soon. When this happens, you need to be less available so that he has a chance to miss you. It's really that simple. And please, after one month, don't ask him "where is this going?" In fact don't ever ask that question. It only puts him on the spot and feels like "pressure" to the other person.
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