lilmisscantbewrong Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Well, I don't have her email address or their home phone number. I only ever had his contact info which I am sure is probably blocked. I never tried so I don't know for sure. Honestly, if someone is going to take him down, I'm really hoping it will be his new OW. He got "caught" once... I can't imagine that the W radar isn't up. Although, I know from experience that they become much more "careful" the second time around. But if she is on watch for you she may ignore the possibility that there could be someone else. I know my xomm's wife is so totally focused on me that she could possibly miss signs he may have another affair going on. I have proof she checks up on me and constantly views my LinkedIn profile (although now its gone anonymous), etc. I would imagine he is back up to his pompous, arrogant self he was pre-affair and she has her antennas up. I am the one she is going t suspect but the beauty is I am nowhere around. It's easier for her to suspect me as well. That's why it's likely that this guy's wife is not expecting another mistress. You should give her the evidence you have.
Author DelusionalOne Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 I totally get what you are saying. But honestly, it's none of my business. He's married, he's involved with someone else. I've been out of the picture for 4 months now. I am not a family friend of hers, I am not a relative. I wouldn't know her if she sat down next to me. This is their issue and not my place to get involved. I'm not involved in their lives anymore and I'd like to keep it that way. 1
findingnemo Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 Great thread! You know my view, I say ignore him or respond very formally. But if it is really driving you nuts and you don't want to do something drastic like searching for his W's email address just yet, then use a planned approach. If he contacts you again, whatever he says (non-work related) respond to him and tell him you wish no further contact from him. If you want to you can add a realistic threat which you will follow through with if he continues to mess with you. I'd rather ignore him since he works in the same company as you. I also believe that many times even when we respond negatively or harshly to contact, we are feeding the MP's need for attention and thereby provoking more effort from him/her. Personally I think he is fishing. He wants to see where you are at emotionally. Maybe it's because he is a demon, maybe because he really does love you. We will never know because you will not be asking him.
Author DelusionalOne Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 Great thread! You know my view, I say ignore him or respond very formally. But if it is really driving you nuts and you don't want to do something drastic like searching for his W's email address just yet, then use a planned approach. If he contacts you again, whatever he says (non-work related) respond to him and tell him you wish no further contact from him. If you want to you can add a realistic threat which you will follow through with if he continues to mess with you. I'd rather ignore him since he works in the same company as you. I also believe that many times even when we respond negatively or harshly to contact, we are feeding the MP's need for attention and thereby provoking more effort from him/her. Personally I think he is fishing. He wants to see where you are at emotionally. Maybe it's because he is a demon, maybe because he really does love you. We will never know because you will not be asking him. This whole thread it just filled with great advice. I have to tread carefully with how I proceed...until I find a new job. I'm not going to go digging for his wife's email address but I can hardly "report" him to HR or anything for being nice to me. I'm not sure what his motivation is as I will never ask him. None of this makes sense to me since he is already involved with someone else. I can't imagine why he would be trying to "see where I am at emotionally" since he is already with someone else... otherwise he is just a sick SOB that wants to see if I am still broken-hearted. You know... the ultimate validation.....4 months later poor DO is still crushed and broken-hearted. At the end of the day though... It's not about him. It's about me and getting to a point where I don't give a sh*t. Getting to a point where a 2 line message from him doesn't hurt and anger me for days.
Praying4Peace Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 This whole thread it just filled with great advice. I have to tread carefully with how I proceed...until I find a new job. I'm not going to go digging for his wife's email address but I can hardly "report" him to HR or anything for being nice to me. I'm not sure what his motivation is as I will never ask him. None of this makes sense to me since he is already involved with someone else. I can't imagine why he would be trying to "see where I am at emotionally" since he is already with someone else... otherwise he is just a sick SOB that wants to see if I am still broken-hearted. You know... the ultimate validation.....4 months later poor DO is still crushed and broken-hearted. At the end of the day though... It's not about him. It's about me and getting to a point where I don't give a sh*t. Getting to a point where a 2 line message from him doesn't hurt and anger me for days. Yours was an EA only, if I remember correctly. How do you know he's still involved with this OOW? It's hard to tell with an EA I guess... Perhaps she was his bandaid solution because you wouldn't have anything to do with him after Dday? Does OOW work at the office? Seems like he's looking for an emotional connection, not just sex, and once you've established that with someone its hard to just replace with some other woman. 1
Author DelusionalOne Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 Yours was an EA only, if I remember correctly. Yes. Just an EA. All this would make a bit more sense if it contained some epic sex but it didn't. How do you know he's still involved with this OOW? Uhm... I guess I really don't. I try not to stay tuned into the office gossip. But I believe so. It's hard to tell with an EA I guess... Perhaps she was his bandaid solution because you wouldn't have anything to do with him after Dday? Maybe. Generally, when someone ask you to leave them alone...you leave them alone. This shouldn't come as a huge surprise to him. Does OOW work at the office? I heard she works in the same office as he does. Seems like he's looking for an emotional connection, not just sex, and once you've established that with someone its hard to just replace with some other woman. You are one of the nicest people out here. Thank you for your insights. 1
bellasue Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 There are a lot of really nice, helpful people here on LS. I honestly don't know what I would have done in my darkest days without just being able to get it out!!!!! Most everyone has productive things to say, and everyone is VERY well spoken! Hope everyone is having a YOU centered weekend!
Author DelusionalOne Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 There are a lot of really nice, helpful people here on LS. I honestly don't know what I would have done in my darkest days without just being able to get it out!!!!! Most everyone has productive things to say, and everyone is VERY well spoken! Hope everyone is having a YOU centered weekend! I absolutely agree! This board is filled with some of the most caring, supportive people I've ever met! Funny thing is... We wouldn't know if we were all standing in the same room together I don't know what I would have done if I didn't find my way to this board. Bless you all.
Washingmachine1980 Posted June 2, 2013 Posted June 2, 2013 Guess he didn't expect you to walk away so easily. It shocked him.
Author DelusionalOne Posted June 2, 2013 Author Posted June 2, 2013 Guess he didn't expect you to walk away so easily. It shocked him. Hmmmm ....Easy. Yeah, that's what it was ...easy. If only he knew. But it's best he doesn't. You gotta do, what you gotta do, right?
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