ddlovexx Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I know people say there are stages until you are completely over it, but I've gotten over this faster than I've ever gotten over any heartbreak before. With my first ex and with this one the first time we broke up, I was bedridden. Depressed, physical and emotional pain... just couldn't take it. Though this breakup hurt (as I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him... and he instead walked away and into another girl's arms), I feel like I'm over it. I do think about him every day still, I am occasionally sad about him, but I "FEEL" over it. I rarely cry and when I do it's over what we USED to have, who he USED to be (or never really was?) I don't want to be with him, I don't want to speak to or see him, I just sort of don't care. I don't think I'm in denial I think maybe I had just hit my breaking point with this breakup because of how cruel and hurtful he was when I did nothing to him. It does bother me that he is mean, cruel, "hates me" even though I haven't done anything to deserve it, but at the same time I kinda just don't care anymore. I blocked him from social media and though I can still check his profile pics and hers, I realize it's pointless. I know I'm going to see him at some point (mutual friends, hangout spots) and I feel as though it might upset me because he won't even be an adult and say as much as "hey" but I also feel like I don't even give a damn anymore so I will probably be okay. I don't think it's denial. It's been 3 weeks and I haven't really hurt much at all... moreso anger, sadness, and acceptance. I feel so grateful that I could love someone as much as I did him, even if he didn't deserve it and couldn't give it back. And by acceptance I mean that I do not want to be with him and I accept that it's over and will never be, even though I don't understand it. I will never understand how he just "stopped loving me" and hopped into another relationship. I will never understand how he said all the things he said to me and then all of a sudden those words meant nothing, "we" became non-existent. But, I have come to understand that I don't have to understand it and I may never. It's about me now. 3
avelonia2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) First, I'm so sorry he did that to you. That's awful! It sounds like you are handling it very well and that's great. Maybe the relationship had run it's course for you and you didn't realize it until it was over. I'm getting there...almost. I feel much better after crying the other night. It released something within in me that needed to get out. It has had a strange effect on me. I'm more introspective as I look back over how I handled things during my time with him. It's like I'm seeing how not to handle things in the future...where ever the future takes me. I'm not sure how he feels; he could hate me for all I know. I wouldn't blame him if he does due to the way I handled things in the end. If he does I totally accept that. I want to apologize, but I'm staying NC because I don't want mess things up for him. Plus the fact he might hate me. I was bed-ridden for a couple of weeks and just went with it and now I'm beginning to feel much better. Glad you're feeling good! Edited May 30, 2013 by avelonia2013
BustedUpInside Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Wow, you sound great. Well, just keep taking care of yourself. I hope I sound as good as you very soon.
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