intherealworld Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) Could really use some helpful advice and outside perspectives please... My bf and I were together for a total of 5 months. The relationship got pretty serious early on. Then 3 months later he got diagnosed with a semi-serious but treatable illness. He had to move away to be with his parents & for about a month he was almost completely bedridden. Through the whole thing I was supportive & caring & stuck by his side. I did all I could to keep him happy & positive. He seemed to have no qualms about relying on me for support and I was happy to give it to him. He told me what a blessing in his life I was As his condition improved, I noticed he just wasn't the same. Gone was his happy go lucky attitude. He didn’t want to do much of anything besides sit in the house on his computer. I tried to encourage him to go out & do things and sometimes he would, but not very willingly. He seemed to only dwell on his issues & while physically present, he was emotionally absent. I finally asked him if he wanted to take a break & he pretty much told me he can't focus on a relationship til he can get his life back together & return to work, etc. but still wanted me to be in his life. I said no because it would be too hard knowing I want to be with him & he doesn't want that. He texted me 3 hrs later saying how hard it was to let such a great and caring girlfriend go and best friend of 4 months and that it was all starting to soak in. Then said "take care." I didnt respond because I knew nothing I could say would change his mind and I was too hurt & upset. The next day he defriended me on FB!! We haven't spoken since. I get that he has a lot on his plate. More than I can understand. But I tried so hard for him...I think I deserve that much back. I've done NC for this whole week, I admit that it's in hopes he'll come back. Should i have responded to his text? Did he defriend me because he was hurt by my silence? Or should I lick my wounds & just move on...because if he really wanted to be with me he would come back despite whatever I said about not wanting to talk...? & let's face it, he didn't have to let me go, but he did.... Edited May 31, 2013 by intherealworld
Shuffty Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I know it's a human thing to do, but I don't think going over and over every little thing in your head is going to help the situation. Does it really matter that he defriended you on FB? It's too late to respond to his text now anyway, so just try and forget about it - personally, I think it's better that you didn't, no one wants to send that last lingering text and then get nothing back, that's far worse - at least you're not left hanging. He was probably checking his phone for the next week wondering when the begging texts were going to start - but you stayed strong, well done! NC is the best thing for you, he's obviously a different (fairly ungrateful) person to the one you first met, so don't spend your time wondering whether he's going to turn up and ask you to give him another chance - which is unlikely to end well anyway, even if you did. Five months is not that long, be thankful that you didn't waste years or decades on him, he obviously doesn't deserve your time and effort. Move on with your life, refuse to be patronised, and find someone who appreciates what you do for them. .
Recommended Posts