stillafool Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 If he wants to continue being friends with you and you want to take it slow then you must take sex out of this until you both agree on a relationship. You can say "Yes I would still like to be friends and see where this takes us but I must admit we slept together too soon." You having sex with this guy on the first date and then beyond without wanting a relationship probably made him think this is what you do. If he doesn't want to get to know you without the sex then move on. Even if you do move on don't have sex with them until you get to know them and you both agree that this is a relationship. Right now you are acting as if you are angry because this guy won't chase you. BTW you can stop wondering if he if he LIKES you because he wouldn't spend time with you if he didn't.
Divasu Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I was vulnerable, im not saying none of this is my fault. i accept it is a lot my fault. but hes been sending mixed signals since day one, i shouldve been straight up from the get go, as he shouldve. lesson learned Look at this realistically... You explained to him before the two of you even met, that you were open to a friendship. That you're still recovering from your ex. And, you both seemed to agree to that. Then you meet for the first time, and have sex. Both of you fumbled there... Now, he probably says to himself "she had sex with me, so she is open to more than friendship". He pursues by asking you out. You decline. You later change your mind. You go out again a second time, have sex. You tell him you like him. He responds favorably. ("let's try a relationship") You don't respond favorably ("no, it's too soon") He complies ("okay then, we're just friends"). When you are boyfriend/girlfriend, there are expectations, and they are typically met mutually because you're both after the same goal (IE: developing deeper intimacy, strengthening the relationship and maintaining it, mutual feelings of affection and a bond between the two of you, etc.). Commitment. What you have and are basically saying, is that you are not open to committing to anything right not, but you may be down the road. Are you interested/going to be sleeping with other people during this time? I can tell you, not too many people are jazzed by dating someone who 'purports' to "like" them, but still wants to keep their options open. If that is the impression you have given this fella, you can't really fault him for not wanting to invest any further nor hold him accountable and/or abide by the expectations you currently have of him with calling you on your timeline. If you create a casual dynamic, a casual dynamic is what it will be until you decide you want more. That is where you are at emotionally, and, what you need to consider. Don't drag him along for that ride. Aside from that, yeah, I do think wanting to put a label on things after two dates is fast for you, and for him. Not to say, there aren't couples who became couples overnight. Sometimes, it does happen that fast and it works out. If you like someone, pursue spending time with that person, and go from there. After all, that is part of how relationships tend to develop and how you get to learn about the other person.
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 In not seeing or talking to anyone else and dont plan too, i guess im overanalyzing
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