apple OR orange Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 we were drinking and ended up sleeping together ...:::... We slept together again ...:::... Then on monday he made me mad cause he was jokin around and told me to relax ...:::... he said we could try a relationship if i wanted. i said it was too soon and i wanted to get to know him better. Ok, heads up all the nice guys again, 3rd time now (in about a week), see the above, SEX and no relationship, infact sex when she didnt even "know" him to even want to "date" him and to top that (as all bad guys do) "he made her mad", so to recap.... they met, then sex, she regretted it, but wait... more sex.... so as you can see, relationship and sex arnt actually link most time, just being the type women will do sex with will do, and thats not being "nice". will the shame of being nice never end...
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Haha okay everyones so quick to blame ME. I told him from day one i wasnt over my ex, he said he wasnt either and wanted to be FRIENDS. he made the moves on me and kept saying we were friends. At one point he hit me up and never responded for 5 days! He claimedhe was busy working but really how can you not respond to a text for 5 days. That phone conversation was the ONLY time we discussed things like that so dont say im playing games. i might be trippin but hes playing games forsure
Estate Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Met this guy online a month ago, talked on the site for a few days then texted constantly and talked on the phone for hours. We were just gonna be friends cause i was tryin to get over my ex and he even asked on the phone what he could do to get me to see him as a potential boyfriend. So we meet and he takes me to see iron man 3 and to buffalo wild wings. i met his family and uncle even his son. we were drinking and ended up sleeping together (stupid i know) he drove me home in the morning and kissed me goodbye. he even wanted to see me the same day but i thought it was too soon and was hanging with my friend. He seemed to get jealous that i was hanging with guys (they were just friends) So we continue texting and met up again. He cooked me breakfast and dinner, opened doors for me. We slept together again. I left and he texted me sayin he had a good time and asked if i got home okay. We texted on and off and never met up since (going on 3 weeks now) he called me friday and we talked for a good 2 hours on the phone. We texted eachother pics he said i looked cute. Then on monday he made me mad cause he was jokin around and told me to relax i told him off then he called me. I told him i liked him, he said we could try a relationship if i wanted. i said it was too soon and i wanted to get to know him better. Then he said we were just friends i told him to stop confusing me. We get off the phone and say goodnight. Since then i texted him twice no response so sent him "funny how you say youd try a relationship but now you ignore me, if you werent into me like that you coulda been straight up its all good tho have a good one" Was i wrong? He hasnt replied to any texts for going on 3 days now, and its been a few hours since i sent this text im confused You're just messing the guy around, leave him be.
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 He should have made things clear from the beginning, and shpuld not ignore me. maybe say hes not interested or whatever. i came here for advice not to be bashed, if he was truly interested in a relationship hed be willing to wait for it. Whatever so much for getting help:o
Phantom888 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I know exactly what he's doing because I did exactly the same thing (during my Sexcapade phase). I met this nice lady, and we had sex on our 2nd date. She really liked me, but I knew she did NOT want a serious relationship. After sex with her a few times, I was ready to move on to my next lady. I would stop calling her or texting her, then I would cancel our meets. She asked me what's up, and I told her I wanted a relationship (reverse psychology), and she backed off. Yup, I was scum.... that was very deceptive. The op's man was playing games. My plan eventually backfired. A month later, the same lady contacted me and said she decided she was actually in love with me, but was confused. She really wanted a relationship! We had sex a few more times, and I had to think of another escape plan. I feel so ashamed for being such an ass. One day before I die I'm gonna have to write a whole bunch of apology notes... 1
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 See i think so too, hes definitely playing games. so stop thinking im the bad guy here...
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 He just said "relax ive had work in mind a lot" i think im gonna ignore it
Phantom888 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 He just said "relax ive had work in mind a lot" i think im gonna ignore it "Work" was my excuse too! OMG...is this guy related to me? We play the same way! Either that, or we read the same Player Book.
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 "Work" was my excuse too! OMG...is this guy related to me? We play the same way! Either that, or we read the same Player Book. Well shame on you for doin this same **** to a girl lol i sent a "K" well see uf he says anything
CherryT Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 (edited) Haha okay everyones so quick to blame ME. I told him from day one i wasnt over my ex, he said he wasnt either and wanted to be FRIENDS. he made the moves on me and kept saying we were friends. At one point he hit me up and never responded for 5 days! He claimedhe was busy working but really how can you not respond to a text for 5 days. That phone conversation was the ONLY time we discussed things like that so dont say im playing games. i might be trippin but hes playing games forsure I wouldn't say it's quick to blame. But you did sleep with him, right? You did send him a passive aggressive text that sounded like you weren't interested, right? You have to take some accountability for your actions. You are confusing the hell out of yourself. You are acting like he owes you a response... you're NOT in a relationship. You said NO when he brought it up. And you're dissecting every little word he said but have no concept of how you are acting yourself. He could take a week to respond to you... he's not your boyfriend. For someone who's not wanting a relationship with this guy, you sure sound like you are contradicting yourself. You're expecting him to respond and keep talking to you, but that ship has sailed. Hate to tell you this, but you're coming off super needy. Saying you're not ready for a relationship and you keep hounding this guy who is clearly over it. Edited May 31, 2013 by CherryT 2
prettycutesoul Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 He should have made things clear from the beginning, and shpuld not ignore me. maybe say hes not interested or whatever. i came here for advice not to be bashed, if he was truly interested in a relationship hed be willing to wait for it. Whatever so much for getting help:o First of all i don't think people are bashing you, they're just as confused as you and this guy is. Then why do you care so much if you don't want a relationship and you were clear with him? Why do you care so much if he ignores you or not, you DON'T want a relationship nor are you over your ex. Like CherryT and a bunch of other people pointed out, you are giving him mixed signals. Guy said he wants to try it out. You said no twice but you slept with him. ok, so let him go and leave him alone. If you really don't want a relationship then just walk away, why do you care so much if he ignores you? Do you just want sex? If you do tell him that so he gets it. You are SOOO playing a game with him and many guys hate that. It's clearly backfiring on you if you are so worked up on whether he is ignoring you or not. You have to be clear on what you really want.
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Should i call him or leave it?
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 I didnt say no twice. I guess i am confusing him maybe what would be a good thing to say over text or the phone?
shexy Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 If you're still hung up on your ex, you shouldn't be dating yet. You slept with the dude on the first date, when you said you were just going to be friends.....um, maybe that confused him? I think that he really liked you, you confused the crap outta him, then when he stopped chasing you and lavishing you with attention, you got pissed.
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Haha so he said "relax ive had work in mind" then i said "k" Then "sorry" Then he said: "no need for that its koo" Then i said " Idk i realize that i probly seem like im playin the games, ive liked you since we first kicked it, guess i just wasnt straight up and came at you with everything at once lol so yeah i am sorry" Sound alright?
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 If you're still hung up on your ex, you shouldn't be dating yet. You slept with the dude on the first date, when you said you were just going to be friends.....um, maybe that confused him? I think that he really liked you, you confused the crap outta him, then when he stopped chasing you and lavishing you with attention, you got pissed. he never lavished me with attention lol.
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Im not over what my ex did to me which was ignore and cut me off thats why i get upset at being ignored
prettycutesoul Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Haha so he said "relax ive had work in mind" then i said "k" Then "sorry" Then he said: "no need for that its koo" Then i said " Idk i realize that i probly seem like im playin the games, ive liked you since we first kicked it, guess i just wasnt straight up and came at you with everything at once lol so yeah i am sorry" Sound alright? I guess I think you have to figure out how YOU feel and what you want out of this guy. If it's just friendship, then tell him. And then stop sleeping with him so he won't get confused. If you do want to see him casually you have to tell him that too and you have to take his feelings into consideration talk to him about it. First figure out what you want then you can say stuff accordingly. I mean what do you want out of this guy?
prettycutesoul Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Im not over what my ex did to me which was ignore and cut me off thats why i get upset at being ignored But guuuurllll this guy ain't your bf, you can't be upset at him for this, it's not fair for him. 1
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 I dont want casual. i would like a relationship eventually, just not so soon. Weve only hung out twice and opened up to each other about our personal lives. We connected on an emotional level. And i know hes not my bf, but he shoukdnt ignore me if he was willing to be with me
shexy Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Maybe he's ignoring you because you slept with him then went bat**** crazy
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Lmao if thats what you call bat**** crazy then alright haha
CherryT Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I dont want casual. i would like a relationship eventually, just not so soon. Weve only hung out twice and opened up to each other about our personal lives. We connected on an emotional level. And i know hes not my bf, but he shoukdnt ignore me if he was willing to be with me I think you should re-read this whole thread. You clearly don't see that what you're doing is actually what is causing this. I don't know how someone who's "not ready for a relationship" can be ready to open up emotionally to someone after "only hanging out" 2 times (your words) and then sleeping with them. Again, your actions say one thing and then your possessive, keep texting him (despite your goodbye text) is nuts. I also forgot to mention that I don't think anyone here is bashing you and I understand that you're asking for advice. But what makes good advice, good is that sometimes it's what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. So I think you need to re-read this thread and realize that you need to work on yourself. Get over your ex and don't expect a man you just met and isn't exclusive with to be responsive to your needs. He does not owe you anything whether you believe he liked you or not. There was no commitment and he can change his mind whenever he wants. Once you understand that, you might look at yourself with a much higher standard.
prettycutesoul Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 Yeah, you are acting like he owes you something when really he doesn't. You say you don't want to be ignored etc cause your ex did that to you - well you have to get over that before dragging this poor guy into this 'mess'. You don't want mess this up too because of your insecurities with your ex. You're ALREADY projecting your insecurities (getting annoyed and panicking when he doesn't text back and thinking he is ignoring you and making a big deal out of ESPECIALLY since he isn't your bf) on this guy and you guys only dated twice. Take a step back, take a breather.
CarrieT Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I think you should re-read this whole thread. You clearly don't see that what you're doing is actually what is causing this. I don't know how someone who's "not ready for a relationship" can be ready to open up emotionally to someone after "only hanging out" 2 times (your words) and then sleeping with them. Again, your actions say one thing and then your possessive, keep texting him (despite your goodbye text) is nuts. ^^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^ Re-read this, OP! BTW, how old are you guys? Sounds like you are still trying to figure out how to have an adult relationship... Can I guess you are somewhere between 17 and 21? 1
Recommended Posts