undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Met this guy online a month ago, talked on the site for a few days then texted constantly and talked on the phone for hours. We were just gonna be friends cause i was tryin to get over my ex and he even asked on the phone what he could do to get me to see him as a potential boyfriend. So we meet and he takes me to see iron man 3 and to buffalo wild wings. i met his family and uncle even his son. we were drinking and ended up sleeping together (stupid i know) he drove me home in the morning and kissed me goodbye. he even wanted to see me the same day but i thought it was too soon and was hanging with my friend. He seemed to get jealous that i was hanging with guys (they were just friends) So we continue texting and met up again. He cooked me breakfast and dinner, opened doors for me. We slept together again. I left and he texted me sayin he had a good time and asked if i got home okay. We texted on and off and never met up since (going on 3 weeks now) he called me friday and we talked for a good 2 hours on the phone. We texted eachother pics he said i looked cute. Then on monday he made me mad cause he was jokin around and told me to relax i told him off then he called me. I told him i liked him, he said we could try a relationship if i wanted. i said it was too soon and i wanted to get to know him better. Then he said we were just friends i told him to stop confusing me. We get off the phone and say goodnight. Since then i texted him twice no response so sent him "funny how you say youd try a relationship but now you ignore me, if you werent into me like that you coulda been straight up its all good tho have a good one" Was i wrong? He hasnt replied to any texts for going on 3 days now, and its been a few hours since i sent this text im confused
Treasa Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 It's not a matter of right or wrong. He wants a relationship, you don't, so he moved on. I don't think anyone is right or wrong, here. I think you should stop contacting him. 6
CarrieT Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 "funny how you say youd try a relationship but now you ignore me, if you werent into me like that you coulda been straight up its all good tho have a good one" Was i wrong? Yep. That statement is VERY passive-aggressive. You slept with him and gave him mixed signals. Move on and don't contact him again. 3
CherryT Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Mixed signals here... he's taking you out, even introduced you to some family. He wants a relationship and even said that. You wanted to take it slow, but slept with him (men do associate love with sex) and said you weren't ready to be bf/gf... so he said you were just friends, which you are... no? So you get mad at him and he probably doesn't know what the hell he did wrong. 3
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 He never said he liked me. ive been initiating contact a lot since his call...i told him i didnt want to do a relationship cause i dont want to get hurt but i want to get to know him and maybe one day we could...
CherryT Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 He never said he liked me. ive been initiating contact a lot since his call...i told him i didnt want to do a relationship cause i dont want to get hurt but i want to get to know him and maybe one day we could... Sometimes men are not the most expressive when it comes to words... He said you can try a relationship. I think that was his way of telling you that he likes you... otherwise he would just say he wasn't looking for a relationship and just wanted to have fun.
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 Its all confusing is there anything i can do?
Treasa Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Met this guy online a month ago, talked on the site for a few days then texted constantly and talked on the phone for hours. We were just gonna be friends cause i was tryin to get over my ex and he even asked on the phone what he could do to get me to see him as a potential boyfriend. So we meet and he takes me to see iron man 3 and to buffalo wild wings. i met his family and uncle even his son. we were drinking and ended up sleeping together (stupid i know) he drove me home in the morning and kissed me goodbye. he even wanted to see me the same day but i thought it was too soon and was hanging with my friend. He seemed to get jealous that i was hanging with guys (they were just friends) So we continue texting and met up again. He cooked me breakfast and dinner, opened doors for me. We slept together again. I left and he texted me sayin he had a good time and asked if i got home okay. We texted on and off and never met up since (going on 3 weeks now) he called me friday and we talked for a good 2 hours on the phone. We texted eachother pics he said i looked cute. Then on monday he made me mad cause he was jokin around and told me to relax i told him off then he called me. I told him i liked him, he said we could try a relationship if i wanted. i said it was too soon and i wanted to get to know him better. Then he said we were just friends i told him to stop confusing me. We get off the phone and say goodnight. Since then i texted him twice no response so sent him "funny how you say youd try a relationship but now you ignore me, if you werent into me like that you coulda been straight up its all good tho have a good one" Was i wrong? He hasnt replied to any texts for going on 3 days now, and its been a few hours since i sent this text im confused You weren't a booty call, which means he was hoping for more, got disappointed or hurt or mad, and decided to move on. Let him. In the meantime, work on letting go of your past baggage. 1
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 I like him but it was too soon for a relationship if he liked me wouldnt he respond?
Treasa Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 He might. He might also feel you aren't worth the wait or the effort. Either way, for both your sakes, please stop contacting him. 1
CherryT Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I like him but it was too soon for a relationship if he liked me wouldnt he respond? But it wasn't too soon for you to sleep with him? I'm just being very honest with you so you can understand your behaviour. You met him a month ago. He wants a relationship and that is what he's looking for. You showed him that you were wishy washy by saying one thing but doing another. Your actions showed that you wanted a relationship, but your words say otherwise. He says to try for a relationship, you say no. Then you get mad at him as if you were in a relationship with him because he wasn't responding. He's not wanting to play games which is why he has moved on. Your message to him was passive aggressive... if he thinks this is the way you handle things before a relationship, he probably is realizing that being in a relationship with you may not be what he wants anymore. 4
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 He never said he liked me, i told him how i felt and i feel if he actually wanted a relationship hed get to know me. my ex broke my heart i dont wanna jump into something and either hurt him or myself. I may seem like im playing games but he reslly confused me. he just ignores my text so it proves that he didnt like me thst much. he also said we could try one if i want he didnt say he wanted one
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 We havent hung out for going on 3 weeks so i mean how could we be in a relationship...
Treasa Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 As none of us are him, we can't tell you what he's thinking. What would you like to hear?
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 Youre right guess i just have to wait for a response if not ill move on 1
CarrieT Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Youre right guess i just have to wait for a response if not ill move on It has been three weeks. Move on, already... 1
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 Its been 3 days since we talked almost not 3 weeks but okay
CherryT Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Its been 3 days since we talked almost not 3 weeks but okay Stop micro-analyzing everything. In your last message you ended off with "it's good tho, have a good one". That's "goodbye", so of course he wouldn't respond. I would take this as a learning lesson and just be a little more relaxed. If it's not going the pace you want it, it might not be for you. You might have to cycle through a bunch of crappy first dates to find what you're looking for. Also some guys don't tell you they like you outright... but it doesn't mean they don't. His actions may have been trying to advance a relationship but you were so stuck on every little detail that it wasn't fluid. Girls who tend to get stuck on every little word and ask themselves "what did he mean when he said this, or what did he mean when he didn't say this" tend to be too draining. Even as a girlfriend who listens to my girl-friends who have similar tendencies. My style has always been... if a guy likes you, they'll make the effort. Your passive aggressive behaviour was way too soon so he probably wrote you off. I don't think a relationship that's suppose to happen should be difficult in the beginning - where you're almost forcing compatibility whether that's communication styles etc. 1
Tinie Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Yeah you basically rejected him. Don't wait for him, he won't be back. You need to let go of your ex otherwise you'll be passing up good opportunities because you're still hung up on the past.
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 Should i send this or leave it: I hope youre not ignoring me cause i said no to the relationship if so my bad for the confusion. I said id like one with you one day, just not so soon. We would need to hangout more and see how things go..but im assuming you just dont want to talk to me so im going to leave you alone.
serial muse Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) Should i send this or leave it: I hope youre not ignoring me cause i said no to the relationship if so my bad for the confusion. I said id like one with you one day, just not so soon. We would need to hangout more and see how things go..but im assuming you just dont want to talk to me so im going to leave you alone. Um, if you want to send that then for heaven's sake leave out the last sentence - everything after "but". That's more of the same passive-aggressive stuff! Stop trying so hard to protect yourself against rejection that you continue to send mixed messages. If I got that I wouldn't know what the heck to think of it. It's all over the place. Try sending a clear, positive one and see how that goes. You might be surprised. For example: Instead, after "go", say something like "I hope you'd be willing to give that a try, because I enjoyed our time together and would like to see you again." See? Proactive. Edited May 30, 2013 by serial muse 1
todreaminblue Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 you say he never said eh liked you, but asked you for a relationship,i think the sex confused things......honestly.....maybe he thought you were wanting just casual sex which basically you were because you said you werent ready for a relationship......sending an ending text isnt such a good idea...you should have sorted it out in person or at least voice wise...and been a little bit more amiable....he sounded ok....from what you hav eposted......as i said having sex might have confused it.......3 days isnt a long time not to hear from a guy .....it was passive aggressive your last text....and you pre empted the ending.....you ended it by text....i hope things work out for you.......deb
Author undergroundlife13 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 I said I hope youre not ignoring me cause i said no to the relationship if so my bad for the confusion. I said id like one with you one day, just not so soon. We would need to hangout more and see how things go..i probly have been acting pretty crazy lol but im confused and i understand if you dont want to talk to me, this will be my last text i promise haha. If he doesnt respond then he must not like me and all is done
CarrieT Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I wouldn't respond to a text like that.... The sort of "I understand if you dont want to talk to me, this will be my last text i promise haha" is also passive/aggressive, demeaning, and begging. You just came across as a #1 Class Drama Queen. Sorry... I truly think you shouldn't date for a while -- and definitely stop having sex after meeting a guy ONCE. 2
Divasu Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 i told him i didnt want to do a relationship cause i dont want to get hurt but i want to get to know him and maybe one day we could... You do realize how conflicting and confusing that statement is? Here's the thing... If you're still fragile from your last relationship, which it sounds like you are, you should let the other person have some insight into that before things go further, physically or otherwise. IE: 'Your last relationship left some scars, and you're still dealing with it, but you might be open to a relationship down the road'. It can only serve to take the pressure off of yourself and avoid mixed signals in the future.
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