Ryanic Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 If you dont know my stort, read it here first... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/397518-thoughts-my-being-dumped-story So besides me wanting to text my ex next week to just say whats up and see how her new job is going (Its been almost 2 months since breakup and its been 4 weeks without a text and only a verbal have a nice summer on college move out day two weeks ago) for some reason i keep feeling like i want to message her best friend on fb... i know i shouldnt but i made the mistake of talking to my exs best friend around week 3-4 of me being dumped by my ex. I went to her because of the whole her starting to drink (even though she never drank before) and the hanging out with these bad influence people and the new guy thing... but anyways.things got heated between me and her best friend as i was a emothional wreck and was pathetic then. She stopped trying to help me and im sure shes told my ex the stuff i said/how i acted. Anyways my question was do you think its a smart idea to message my exs best friend to say hi and such (maybeeee appologize for how i acted to her a month ago?)? I AM going to try to get my ex back at some point idc if you think thats a bad idea or not because im going to try at some point because i love her to much. But anyways the question is really about do you think itd hurt my chances of trying to get my ex back in the future? I dont really have a time set that i was going to try to get my ex back though... besides the text to her maybe next week... idk, idk how long i should wait and such. And give me your thoughts on the message to her best friend. Thank you...
Elias18 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Damn Ryanic, let it go! Don't contact her best friend, it makes you look pathetic and desperate. You can't force a 'second chance', if there will be a second chance she will/must initiate it! You are done Ryanic, your ex-gf is ****ing a new guy and doesn't give a **** about you, you're just a nuisance. If you really love her you give her space!
Elias18 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Sorry for me being so rude, but I hope you will get the message. She doesn't want to be with your or don't want to have any contact. If she wants that she will find a way!
aisuru Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Terrible idea. The best friend probably doesn't even have that night as a blip on her radar cause friend's recent exes always go a little nuts. To reach out to her now? That's beyond nuts. Let it all go. Have fun this summer. Don't wallow in this. You're young!! Enjoy it.
Chi townD Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 EVERYTHING in your post is a bad idea. But, you know what's an awesome idea? Healing and moving on! 3
StarsOnFire Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Please don't contact her or any of her friends/family. She doesn't want anything to do with you. She's made this very clear. You are not going to win her back. Leave her alone, like she requested, like her family has requested! Don't contact the friend either, you've already burned your bridges on that as well. Keep moving on, that part of your live is done. Time to heal and move forward.
Author Ryanic Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) Haha the exact responses I expected...and yeah I know its a bad idea...I've already talked myself out of it a few times before. But the idea keeps coming back. And the new guy shes been talking to lives 2.5 hours away from our hometown...so I don't think she'd be driving down to see him. I just assumed she was using him to heal during college until the summer and it'd fade but I have honestly no idea whats going on since I don't see her anymore, but I feel like she still is interested in him etc.... And I know it'll make me look pathetic and desperate...which is why I wanted a second opinion to hopefully completely stop be from thinking about talking to her best friend. For some reason I just felt like that It wouldn't make me look desperate hah. I'm not stalking her I just don't have enough self control over myself to not look at her facebook page. It was extremely easy to pick up information while I was in college because I saw her around all the time and such and It was really easy for me to put two and two together while I was in college but now that i'm back in my home area it's driving me nuts not knowing what shes up to. I know you say move on etc, but If you read my long story I mentioned that from the very first moment I met her I was never nervous around her and I'm like extremely sigh around girls...Idk it was just so easy to be myself and such that I loved her wayyyyy more than I probably should have and even though I didn't show my love enough towards the end it was still there, making this extremely hard on me. I can't just let that go all to waste by not trying once more... I know you can't force a second chance but you can reach out to them and see if their willing to talk to you at all again...and if so you have something to work with, but if you're shut down well then there is really nothing you can do. And honestly I don't want to move on... I do but I don't...I haven't been able to look at another girl in any sexual way or even like mention how beautiful they are since like month 7 of me and my ex being together.... I was just so in love with her I honestly didn't give a **** about any other girl in the world and I treated her so well for the first year and a half then we started to get lazy though... Le sigh I just don't understand how someone can just completely throw away two years and some odd months away so easily like that? I mean I know she wasn't AS in love with me for the past months of our relationship but I don't understand how someone can just forget someone and force themselves to move on and to not care about them anymore so much that they build an extremely large wall around them. What makes someone just decide that they want nothing to do with the other person anymore? She mentioned that we're not good for each other and that she wanted to have kids by like 24 and such so (I assume that was her way of saying she just wanted to see other people and experience new things) but Idk...I just feel like We could be happy together forever if she gave me a second chance lol... I've changed a great whole amount since the breakup and I'm growing every day still and changing who I was to better myself in the future. And even if she saw a change in me I still feel like she wouldn't give me a second chance lol... Edited May 30, 2013 by Ryanic
CarrieT Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 While I did read the entire thread, I really didn't have to... And thread that is titled, "Is This A Bad Idea?" usually is! Be strong, Ryanic - you will get to a point where you don't look at her Facebook and the healing will be easier. Try doing it for just one day. And then if you make it for one day, try it for two. Before you know it, you will have gone a week without looking at her Facebook page. By the way, your sentence, "I'm not stalking her I just don't have enough self control over myself to not look at her facebook page..." I have news for you, that IS stalking. And you know it. 2
Chi townD Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 You're so focused on getting a SECOND chance. How about giving a new girl a first chance! There are tons of girls out there that probably wouldn't mind going out on a date with you! Doesn't that sound cool and exciting! Something new! Stop worrying about someone that clearly doesn't want you anymore. Start focusing on the girls that would love the opportunity.
Author Ryanic Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 Haha okay maybe that is I guess "stalking"... It's just not how I picture stalking.... Yeah I know it's hard to control myself to not do it..but I'm trying. And I know, going on a date with a new girl would be fun and exciting but currently I can't even look at another girl...It's going to be a very long time before I'm able to do that I think...probably a lot easier if the girl initiates everything though.
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