Need something very sentimental returned LDR...break NC or wait it out?

[tinkerbelldandy]

It's been a month since my LDR ex-boyfriend broke up with me. During the break up I asked him to send my things back to me and I'll pay postage if need be. I only want a pillow case set I had made for the both of us which I left as a symbol that no matter the distance and obstacles we were going to go through I would always return to that place beside him. He decided that place was no longer for me and so I asked for it back, he first asked me if I was going to give it to someone else which I replied when I find the one I belong next to, I believed it would be him, but he had made his decision. He agreed to send it but has been lagging (I asked him two weeks ago if he already has but he hadn't). We agreed with no contact, but I know he needs to be reminded and hope he has some respect to send something very important and sentimental to me. How should I go about having him return it to me as soon as possible without being a nag about it?

[TaraMaiden]

Send something very impersonal and neutral:

 

"I am still waiting for you to keep your word and return the items I requested."

 

And that's it.

 

At a push, you could ask a friend of yours to contact him on your behalf - but again, keep the approach very formal and impersonal.

 

"Hello, you don't know me, but I am contacting you on behalf of *tinkerbelldandy* to ask you to please keep your word and return to her the items she requested? She is waiting for them.

Many thanks."

[BustedUpInside]

I am not trying to be insensitive, but would you really want to use it on somebody new. Wouldn't it be better to just let him have it and make a new one for a new start.

[StarsOnFire]

I am not trying to be insensitive, but would you really want to use it on somebody new. Wouldn't it be better to just let him have it and make a new one for a new start.

 

 

Right? If my boyfriend tried to give me something like that from his previous relationship, I'd be creeped out!

[TaraMaiden]

I'm not sure she really would want anyone else to have it.

She just doesn't want him to have it any more because its sentiment is 'broken'....

 

He 'broke' the relationship.

She may feel he is therefore no longer deserving of her gift.

[aisuru]

I would let it go. Sometimes showing you don't care, even when you do, makes a greater impact.

[bluecrabroll]

My exes room is filled with stuff sentimental things I've given her. Hell I starting collecting Agatha Christie books (had 88 of them) over the course of our relationship and gave them to her among many other things. I sometimes want to write her and ask for some of the things back because the sentiments are broken and I thought she had collected these "spoils" which have no meaning to her anymore. But I agree with aisuru, just let it all go and show them you do not care, even when you know you do deep down.

[tinkerbelldandy]

I'm going to follow you guys on this one and just leave it be. TaraMaiden is correct when it's something that I want to keep for myself as a memory. I'm probably going to be bashed for this, but I truly care and love him even though he broke my heart, but I'm happy to know I'm capable of loving so much that I don't hold any anger and resentment towards him. I learned that I deserve someone who wants to be together with me, if he doesn't then it's better we broke up then him to go on pretending...that would be worse. That's life...people come and go and we learn and grow from every experience.

 

I've already asked him to kindly return it to me with him knowing full well how much it means to me...but if he doesn't return it and wants to use it with his next girlfriend then that's a decision he will have to live with.

[aisuru]

I'm going to follow you guys on this one and just leave it be. TaraMaiden is correct when it's something that I want to keep for myself as a memory. I'm probably going to be bashed for this, but I truly care and love him even though he broke my heart, but I'm happy to know I'm capable of loving so much that I don't hold any anger and resentment towards him. I learned that I deserve someone who wants to be together with me, if he doesn't then it's better we broke up then him to go on pretending...that would be worse. That's life...people come and go and we learn and grow from every experience.

 

I've already asked him to kindly return it to me with him knowing full well how much it means to me...but if he doesn't return it and wants to use it with his next girlfriend then that's a decision he will have to live with.

 

Nothing wrong with feeling this way. I agree with you. I understand the sentimentality behind it.

 

I support your decision.