Teknoe Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Right now, I got a big crush on a girl who already has a boyfriend. She doesn't seem "content" with him though, so I feel she's leaving the door open for me. However, we're kind of going through a funk right now. I might have scared her off (as I tend to do, lol... I can overshare or send out one too many texts/emails). Perhaps it's for the best though, as she is taken and I don't want to be a homewrecker. Anyway, my aunt is trying to hook me up with her friend's daughter. Said she is cute, lives 15 miles from me and just graduated from college. I'm not sure if she means college undergrad(22-23) or grad (25-30 I'd assume at most). Anyway, I just got an email from my aunt. It has the girl's photos in it in question. Aunt also gave me the girl's number and asked me to call tonight. Wow. Isn't that a little forward, lol. Like an idiot I haven't opened the email yet to see the picture. Part of me is totally expecting to be disappointed and like "That's cute to you, Auntie? Thanks for totally putting the pressure on me with someone I'm totally NOT attracted to whatsoever." Part of me has a big fear that I'll end up with someone I'm not attracted to. Like, my crushes are nothing but fantasy, and it'll never work out and I'd be "destined" to settle for a girl I'm only lukewarm towards. I suppose I could end this drama by clicking on the email, which I plan to do after working out tonight. Just starting this thread now to be able to update later with either "Wow, jackpot!" or "Damn, I knew my gut was right. I don't find her attractive one iota" We'll see. I think right now I'm just stewing about my last interaction with my crush, analyzing what went wrong or why she is suddenly silent. Freak, I overthink way too much. I wonder if I'll be alone for the rest of my life... I could settle and be with someone I'm OK toward, but I wanna be with someone I'm hot for. It's only happened once before in my life though, and that was way back in 2004. As the years go by, I get more and more used to being hopelessly single. It's almost been 10 years now for crying out loud. Guess I'm venting now. Hope to report back with some good news later tonight... but... being cynical and skeptical right now. It's easier that way when you find out the girl is "meh." Don't wanna get myself up for a letdown...
Author Teknoe Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 Opened the email. My fear came true when my reaction was "MEH. totally. meh." No attraction whatsoever. I don't want to be shallow, but fact is, I'd like/need to be at least somewhat attracted. She might be a great person but friends is all I see here, at the most. Wondering how I'm going to address my aunt now "Hey thanks for trying to play matchmaker. I can message her but I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. Right off the bat, I am not attracted to her." Gosh, what's a nice way to say this...
KathyM Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Tell your aunt "She's not really my type, but if you know of anyone else who I might find attractive and interesting, I'm open to hearing about it."
Author Teknoe Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 Wrote this to my aunt. I think it's fair, states my beliefs firmly but lovingly --- Hi Auntie, I appreciate you looking out for me and thinking of me. Before I contact K can you tell me what she knows about me? For example, does she even know about me? What have you told her (or her mom) about me? Secondly, I have to be honest and say that from the pictures I do not feel an attraction to K. I think we could become casual friends, but it's hard for me to see myself falling for her. She's just not my type at first glance. Initial attraction is very important for me. It's a must-have in a relationship. Like I said, I can contact K, but I don't want there to be unrealistic or lofty expectations on her end. I don't want to hurt her or give her (or her mom) false hope. I hope you can understand! Thanks again for thinking of me though
crederer Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 You're shutting a girl down after 10 years of being single because her pictures are "meh"? Meet her man. For all you know she's the coolest chick on the planet and you're shutting her down because her pics weren't of beyonce (or whatever type you're attracted to). What's the worst that'll happen? You don't click? Well then shut it down at that point. 2
Author Teknoe Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 ^ I understand that but no. If she's the coolest chick around, cool. Still just a buddy. I am not going to get her hopes up, and I'm not going to waste anyone's time. Sometimes you just know.
FitChick Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I am not going to get her hopes up, and I'm not going to waste anyone's time. Why do you assume she would find you attractive?
Author Teknoe Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Why do you assume she would find you attractive? Because the aunt just came back to me with a potential arrange marriage situation, and how they would like to set her up with a US citizen. It looks like a warm body that they know and trust will do at this point, attraction or not on her part. I ain't having any of this. Marriage is sacred to me. It's not to lie to get someone a green card
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