My life in a nutshell from a male who is considered as a failure.....

May 30, 2013

I don't know where I should put this at so I'm going to leave it here and let the moderators decide.

As to why I'm making this thread?

I just don't know what to do anymore. I just don't.

I'm a 26-year old black male. I got 2 overdue credit card bills, 1 default school loan that keeps me out of college that I can't pay for (due to a bad decision almost 5 years ago), no job in over 5 years, still living with my mother and 2 of my 3 brothers that I have a good amount of hatred for, I'm sure I can considered as a racist towards my own skin color, and despite whatever efforts I put into to keep my head up, I don't see not a shred of hope left.

Thoughts of suicide has crossed my mind more times than I can count since I'm disposable and worthless. I don't see any reason why I should date when I don't have a dime to my name. What woman wants to deal with a "man" (and I put that in quotation marks for a reason) that don't have any money to spend? After all, I have to get assistance from Vocational Rehab just to get a bus pass to get around the city while I continue to search for work.

I don't know how to tie my own shoes and I don't know how to ride a bike. My health is considered normal although there can easily be work to be done but, considering my financial issues, paying for a gym membership is not exactly easy to do. I may have a disability but I have no way to prove since I don't walk like I have one.

My family wastes whatever money they get on fast food and, due to the incident I had with that bipolar Russian female I was too generous towards, both major bills of the household is behind by one month. My family do get Housing assistance and Food Stamps but given how much they like to eat, we tend to starve for at least a week, if not longer.

My clothing is very limited. I only got one interview outfit which is just a matching shirt and a pair of pants and just one pair of tennis shoes. I can't afford to get a hair cut so I have to get my mother to cut my hair off for me, which isn't a very good job at all.

As for my social skills? Not so great. Considering that I can't even do any of the cheap social things, I got nothing worth sharing except for my video game system that was given to me by the only friend I have and my Yugioh cards that I got strictly just to make money off of. The only female I had any connection to even found out that I got absolutely nothing. There was nothing there worth noticing that I have outside of a personal Yugioh collection that I built up for almost a decade that I wanted to sell for $600+ but my mother is doing everything possible to keep me from doing that since that is the only valuable thing I have left outside of my video game system. Once those 2 things are gone, I don't have anything left that is worth more than $50.

Despite my lack of social skills, another reason why it is so pitiful is because I got no connection with the people around me. They talk about baby mamas, drugs, tattoos, cheating, etc etc and all it does is piss me off. The majority of them is ghetto-type people and I don't want to have anything to do with them. When all you get to see is nothing but them, it's not hard to see why I decided to stay single.

The only positive things I can even say about my life is that I had one minimal wage job at Target as a janitor/cashier, I made a perfect score on the math standardized test during 6th grade, and I saw some success in the NJROTC program during high school. That's about it. I had a dream of being an accountant but I doubt I will even get close to achieving that dream.

I'm out of options.

So, apparently I'm a lost cause that has basically given up due to absolutely nothing that is working, you tell me what I should do, if there is anything worth doing at this point, to get out of this mess.

If you want to make fun of me, you are more than welcome to do so. If I can't be of any more use, I might as well be a punching bag. At least when my death comes, I can say that I had some value to someone somewhere.

May 30, 2013

It is common to think of oneself as a failure at our age.

I have an overachieving younger brother who puts an enormous amount of pressure on me to succeed. He basically got everything in life handed to him on a silver platter, steered clear of any mistakes I had made growing up and is now the prize of the family. All of our relatives constantly compare the two of us and it drives me insane because we are completely different people. It causes me to suffer serious inferiority complexes and self-worth issues, but I do a fairly good job of hiding it. Most people would consider me normal. It's just that I haven't done anything with my Bachelor's yet and he is well on his way to easily making six figures in his late teens.

I also suffer from bad focus issues. I make stupid mistakes at work and in my daily life on things that I have done a million times, but I make them just the same and do not even realize that I am doing it until someone corrects me later. I have no idea what I would even be diagnosed as, but it is a pain in the ass and impacts me on a daily basis.

So you see, we all have our problems. Every one of us. You sound like you have not had an easy life. Most of us here haven't. If we did, we wouldn't be posting here on a daily basis.

We are here for you.

May 30, 2013

Unfortunately, I'm the oldest one in the family.

The 2nd oldest's father is white. He is lazy but, due to my connection with the only friend I have, he managed to get a job working under her. He may get fired/removed over the next 2 months though due to the fact that he is simply not a good enough worker. He typically stay at home and play video games. Anytime he gets his paycheck, he lets me use it for anything needed in the household (or even for myself if I felt like it).

He has no desire for responsibility.

The 3rd oldest is a troublemaker. He's working at Burger King, has a child he can't take care. He's a hustler. Already went to jail for a year for unarmed robbery, constantly making terrible decisions. Despite this, he managed to work at 3 fast food chains (Burger King, McDonald's, and Krystals) while when he got the job at Burger King, this was when he had the 1 year jail sentence on the application.

The youngest one is down syndrome. He's stupid on the outside, smart enough on the inside. He gets a government check. He runs up the light and water bill taking unnecessary baths. He changes clothes after school constantly. He pisses me off constantly. Sometimes I wonder why I hasn't knocked him out yet. Needless to say, I have a strong hatred for him and I do all I can not to ram his head to a wall any chance I get. It's not an easy thing to do.

Despite that I'm the one with the less issues among everything (technically), the lazy one and the troublemaker one is both able to find minimal-wage jobs yet I can't get one no matter my efforts.

At least those 2 is seeing some form of success. I can't even get a chance.

What's the point? Why should I even bother trying anymore?

May 30, 2013

Unfortunately, I'm the oldest one in the family.

The 2nd oldest's father is white. He is lazy but, due to my connection with the only friend I have, he managed to get a job working under her. He may get fired/removed over the next 2 months though due to the fact that he is simply not a good enough worker. He typically stay at home and play video games. Anytime he gets his paycheck, he lets me use it for anything needed in the household (or even for myself if I felt like it).

He has no desire for responsibility.

The 3rd oldest is a troublemaker. He's working at Burger King, has a child he can't take care. He's a hustler. Already went to jail for a year for unarmed robbery, constantly making terrible decisions. Despite this, he managed to work at 3 fast food chains (Burger King, McDonald's, and Krystals) while when he got the job at Burger King, this was when he had the 1 year jail sentence on the application.

The youngest one is down syndrome. He's stupid on the outside, smart enough on the inside. He gets a government check. He runs up the light and water bill taking unnecessary baths. He changes clothes after school constantly. He pisses me off constantly. Sometimes I wonder why I hasn't knocked him out yet. Needless to say, I have a strong hatred for him and I do all I can not to ram his head to a wall any chance I get. It's not an easy thing to do.

Despite that I'm the one with the less issues among everything (technically), the lazy one and the troublemaker one is both able to find minimal-wage jobs yet I can't get one no matter my efforts.

At least those 2 is seeing some form of success. I can't even get a chance.

What's the point? Why should I even bother trying anymore?

That sounds like a total cross section of all my family. I've got the druggy brother, crazy relatives, uncles, cousins etc to deal with too.

I also grew up in an area where a lot of the families were just as you described so it wasn't rare.

You need something extreme to help you out. Take a big risk, get the hell out of the house, rent a room, join the Navy, etc. Something huge and life-changing. If you don't you'll be there forever and it's not right that you have to support the rest of your family at the expense of your own sanity.

May 31, 2013

Your home situation sounds awful. Why not join the military?

May 31, 2013

That sounds like a total cross section of all my family. I've got the druggy brother, crazy relatives, uncles, cousins etc to deal with too.

I also grew up in an area where a lot of the families were just as you described so it wasn't rare.

You need something extreme to help you out. Take a big risk, get the hell out of the house, rent a room, join the Navy, etc. Something huge and life-changing. If you don't you'll be there forever and it's not right that you have to support the rest of your family at the expense of your own sanity.

I would love to go into the Navy but I doubt my physical limitations will get me through boot camp.

As for renting a room, it's hard to even pull that off due to complete lack of funds.

Your home situation sounds awful. Why not join the military?

Just not in a good enough physical condition right now. I'm going through enough issues with my legs to try and push myself into the Navy.

May 31, 2013

Wow. You sound like you're at a serious crossroad in your life right now. One of those defining moments when you feel boxed in and finally break yourself free.

I understand what you're saying about feeling just crazy being around people who are having ghetto problems while you feel out of place and like you just don't want to belong where you are. You want to rise above it. And good for you!

The military would be a great place for you but since you have some problems and limitations you think would hold you back, that's obviously not going to work for you.

Some people are just go-getters and your brother who did jail time sounds like the type because he comes out of jail and gets a job? Seems so unfair. But you have to start making things fair and even it out.

You're saying you have no money at the moment and no job and your social life is suffering because of it so first things first is some kind of job. Not your dream job but something that will be a first step for now. And everybody finds it so much easier to get a better job when they are already working a job they don't like too much that doesn't really pay. That first job right now is key. It will get you into a better position to get a better job.

My accountant just retired very well! The guy handled multi-million dollar accounts for years and now all he does is play golf all day and he's happy so I say totally hang onto the idea of being an accountant. They do well financially! He handled smaller accounts most of the time but the few big accounts he had pushed him over the top to retire pretty young.

If your brother can swing getting 3 jobs and one with jail time on his record (for robbery, no less), then you have to get yourself out there and do it again and again and again until you land some job. You'll get a couple bucks in your pocket to start and finally have at least some kind of social life which will put you in touch with all kinds of people you don't have access to right now and things will move forward.

May 31, 2013

Don't tie your self-worth in to how much money you have. Do you think that cavemen sat around moping because they had no money? Nah, they knew it didn't change who they were.

I know this'll be ignored in the end, but, even though I'm in the same position, I'm not worried about being seen as less of a man.. Because green pieces of paper don't make you a man. We do both have to get our acts together, though.. For our own sake.

Anyways, I'm mentally ill.. What's your excuse? Seriously, though. How long has it been since your janitor stint?

May 31, 2013

Why do you think anyone would make fun of you?

Your life sounds terrible right now -- you aren't wrong about that.

The question becomes what are you going to do about it? Are you going to continue living how you are living, or are you going to take steps every day to get yourself out of your situation?

First step is finding a job. You say you've been looking for five years. I think I asked you this before, but have you really looked everywhere? I find it really hard to believe that in five years you couldn't find an entry level job anywhere. In Florida -- tourist destination of the country! Did you apply at all the hotels, restaurants, fast food places, shops, etc. in the entire city? I see help wanted signs everywhere in Chicago -- is Jacksonville that different? It seems like places here are always looking for dishwashers, bus boys, etc. Did you try going to a temp agency? What about developing your skills? Are there classes or certifications that you can take online for free? Can you teach yourself how to code and do some freelance web work? What about mystery shopping? What about blogging? (You are a good writer -- think of a great blogging idea and start a blog.) What about becoming an eBay seller? What about volunteering somewhere to build some skills and see if that can translate into a job either via new skills or networking? (If you aren't making any money anyway, you aren't losing anything by volunteering anywhere.) Heck, you could even offer to clerk and/or be a gopher at an accounting firm for free for awhile, if that is the field that interests you. Etc....my point is that it may be time for you to start thinking outside the box. You have absolutely nothing to lose at this point.

I don't know how to tie my own shoes and I don't know how to ride a bike.

I'm curious why you don't know how to tie your shoes. I don't quite know how to ask this in the politically correct way, but do you have a learning disability or other developmental issue? Your writing is good, so I would never suspect that you do.

May 31, 2013

You're saying you have no money at the moment and no job and your social life is suffering because of it so first things first is some kind of job. Not your dream job but something that will be a first step for now. And everybody finds it so much easier to get a better job when they are already working a job they don't like too much that doesn't really pay. That first job right now is key. It will get you into a better position to get a better job.

Pretty much.

Unfortunately, I can't seem to convince any employer at this point to hire me. I don't know what they see in me that would eliminate me out of the job hunt but, whatever that may be, apparently all of them can see it.

It shows when it is almost 5 years since I last did anything that would equal out to a few bucks in my pocket.

Don't tie your self-worth in to how much money you have. Do you think that cavemen sat around moping because they had no money? Nah, they knew it didn't change who they were.

I know this'll be ignored in the end, but, even though I'm in the same position, I'm not worried about being seen as less of a man.. Because green pieces of paper don't make you a man. We do both have to get our acts together, though.. For our own sake.

Anyways, I'm mentally ill.. What's your excuse? Seriously, though. How long has it been since your janitor stint?

It's hard to be called "a man" when you have nothing to provide. It's bad enough when women is overtaking the corporate world. I'm willing to accept that.

It is even worse when I can't provide anything of substance at all. A dinner date? I would have to go Dutch strictly because I literally can't afford it by myself at all.

A bit extreme? Yeah but that is EXACTLY the situation I'm in.

As for the janitor stint, it will be 5 years on August 3rd.

May 31, 2013

I don't know where I should put this at so I'm going to leave it here and let the moderators decide.

As to why I'm making this thread?

I just don't know what to do anymore. I just don't.

I'm a 26-year old black male. I got 2 overdue credit card bills, 1 default school loan that keeps me out of college that I can't pay for (due to a bad decision almost 5 years ago), no job in over 5 years, still living with my mother and 2 of my 3 brothers that I have a good amount of hatred for, I'm sure I can considered as a racist towards my own skin color, and despite whatever efforts I put into to keep my head up, I don't see not a shred of hope left.

Thoughts of suicide has crossed my mind more times than I can count since I'm disposable and worthless. I don't see any reason why I should date when I don't have a dime to my name. What woman wants to deal with a "man" (and I put that in quotation marks for a reason) that don't have any money to spend? After all, I have to get assistance from Vocational Rehab just to get a bus pass to get around the city while I continue to search for work.

I don't know how to tie my own shoes and I don't know how to ride a bike. My health is considered normal although there can easily be work to be done but, considering my financial issues, paying for a gym membership is not exactly easy to do. I may have a disability but I have no way to prove since I don't walk like I have one.

My family wastes whatever money they get on fast food and, due to the incident I had with that bipolar Russian female I was too generous towards, both major bills of the household is behind by one month. My family do get Housing assistance and Food Stamps but given how much they like to eat, we tend to starve for at least a week, if not longer.

My clothing is very limited. I only got one interview outfit which is just a matching shirt and a pair of pants and just one pair of tennis shoes. I can't afford to get a hair cut so I have to get my mother to cut my hair off for me, which isn't a very good job at all.

As for my social skills? Not so great. Considering that I can't even do any of the cheap social things, I got nothing worth sharing except for my video game system that was given to me by the only friend I have and my Yugioh cards that I got strictly just to make money off of. The only female I had any connection to even found out that I got absolutely nothing. There was nothing there worth noticing that I have outside of a personal Yugioh collection that I built up for almost a decade that I wanted to sell for $600+ but my mother is doing everything possible to keep me from doing that since that is the only valuable thing I have left outside of my video game system. Once those 2 things are gone, I don't have anything left that is worth more than $50.

Despite my lack of social skills, another reason why it is so pitiful is because I got no connection with the people around me. They talk about baby mamas, drugs, tattoos, cheating, etc etc and all it does is piss me off. The majority of them is ghetto-type people and I don't want to have anything to do with them. When all you get to see is nothing but them, it's not hard to see why I decided to stay single.

The only positive things I can even say about my life is that I had one minimal wage job at Target as a janitor/cashier, I made a perfect score on the math standardized test during 6th grade, and I saw some success in the NJROTC program during high school. That's about it. I had a dream of being an accountant but I doubt I will even get close to achieving that dream.

I'm out of options.

So, apparently I'm a lost cause that has basically given up due to absolutely nothing that is working, you tell me what I should do, if there is anything worth doing at this point, to get out of this mess.

If you want to make fun of me, you are more than welcome to do so. If I can't be of any more use, I might as well be a punching bag. At least when my death comes, I can say that I had some value to someone somewhere.

((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

I stopped reading at the bolded portion. I'm going to scream this ...k...YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS AND DISPOSABLE.

Done screaming...there is not another YOU in this world...you were beautifully and wonderfully made. I'm not sure who or what in your life has spoken death over you, BUT it is a lie, right out of the pit of hell..yes I'm speaking in spiritual terms because I need to do this to speak life into you.

One day at a time. Today, look at any possitive thing in your life and focus on that, speak the good things over yourself...like, you have nice hair, smile, whatever.

A poster on here and not sure if he has responded, BUT, he was just about to pull the trigger on himself and found one good thing worth living for, and then put all of his energy into that- his life is transformed now and is an inspiration to all.

Sorry love for sounding like I don't have compassion, it just freaks me out when I read acute discouragment because it's a lie. There is this tape recorder that is playing over and over and you communicated it in your OP.

You are worth EVERYTHING...I love you..k..

Edited May 31, 2013 by pureinheart

June 1, 2013

I would love to go into the Navy but I doubt my physical limitations will get me through boot camp.

As for renting a room, it's hard to even pull that off due to complete lack of funds.

Just not in a good enough physical condition right now. I'm going through enough issues with my legs to try and push myself into the Navy.

Navy bootcamp isn't hard besides 'bootcamp' is more mental than anything else. If you really want to do it the person to talk to would be a recruiter they can give you tips.

June 1, 2013

Navy bootcamp isn't hard besides 'bootcamp' is more mental than anything else. If you really want to do it the person to talk to would be a recruiter they can give you tips.

Actually, that was the person who warned me about not mentioning my seizures during my 1st year of birth and I got scared and revealed that information anyway when I first tried to sign up before I graduated from high school.

So you could say that was partly my fault for that right there. If boot camp is all mental, I would have passed it with flying colors unless I get a headache from all of that.

June 3, 2013

I can't help but notice that all of your responses have been full of excuses. You blame your family, no one will hire you, you can't join the military...so, what then? Are you just going to accept that this is your life? You are young. You have time to change things. The question is -- do you want to change? Someone else above mentioned that you might need to take some risks. From what you've posted, you sure don't seem to have anything to lose. What about joining the Peace Corps or trying to find another job that includes housing, such as working at a national park or on a cruise ship?

June 3, 2013

Don't tie your self-worth in to how much money you have. Do you think that cavemen sat around moping because they had no money? Nah, they knew it didn't change who they were.

I know this'll be ignored in the end, but, even though I'm in the same position, I'm not worried about being seen as less of a man.. Because green pieces of paper don't make you a man. We do both have to get our acts together, though..

Money makes the world go round. If you don't have it, you are seen as no better than a piece of gum on the sidewalk. Sorry, but I don't make the rules.

June 3, 2013

You write well. How about applying for research job or a journalist related job? Perhaps you could take a short course in journalism?

June 4, 2013

Mate you seem pretty talented with the writing thing why don't you look into something in that area maybe write a book (don't base your life on what others expect of you be authentic and genuine go and discover yourself ''what interest you'' find your own path in life I am doing the same thing myself I believe that ''self worth'' is pretty much self explanation and important because if you can't do it then don't expect others too ( Jobs are just tools like money maybe you should find a lifestyle that suits you and not the other way around

Take charge of your life don't blame others go get the life you want expect failures because they make you stronger don't listen to the haters because they don't live your life most important you can only control your destiny but cannot control those things around you

"Man up fix bayonets and close and engage the enemy"

June 4, 2013

What about joining the Peace Corps or trying to find another job that includes housing, such as working at a national park or on a cruise ship?

It's funny you mentioned the cruise ship idea.

I just tried that as a Merchant Mariner a couple of months ago. Even got assistance to go to Orlando FL for the job's orientation.

I was declined for that job as well. Most likely because I don't have the necessary training but I'm strictly guessing on that.

I never heard of the Peace Corps or working at a national park but if they both require skills equal to being a Merchant Mariner, I can't see myself actually getting a chance there.

You write well. How about applying for research job or a journalist related job? Perhaps you could take a short course in journalism?

I have to look into that. Truth be told, I'm surprised I'm getting any form of credit in writing when English classes in high school is insanely boring to me. I couldn't write up a paper to save my life if I had to.

I was always more interested in mathematics.

On either case, I have no issues looking into it. At this point, I'm desperate enough to just get a job, regardless of its pay.

I just hope the training doesn't annoy me too much.

June 4, 2013

I have to look into that. Truth be told, I'm surprised I'm getting any form of credit in writing when English classes in high school is insanely boring to me. I couldn't write up a paper to save my life if I had to.

I was always more interested in mathematics.

On either case, I have no issues looking into it. At this point, I'm desperate enough to just get a job, regardless of its pay.

I just hope the training doesn't annoy me too much.

what about being a English tutor/mentor earning a little bit of a income you really do write well and for the maths is it a hobby thing on just a interest

June 4, 2013

what about being a English tutor/mentor earning a little bit of a income you really do write well and for the maths is it a hobby thing on just a interest

I just find it a bit ironic that I couldn't get past English classes as a student and now I could be qualified enough to actually help teach the subject.

While it is an interesting idea, I also have to keep in mind that the subject does hurt a lot mentally. It is not a subject I excel at and, when it comes to higher levels of English, I struggle massively at it.

Writing is one thing. Actually teaching the subject is another.

June 4, 2013

I just find it a bit ironic that I couldn't get past English classes as a student and now I could be qualified enough to actually help teach the subject.

While it is an interesting idea, I also have to keep in mind that the subject does hurt a lot mentally. It is not a subject I excel at and, when it comes to higher levels of English, I struggle massively at it.

Writing is one thing. Actually teaching the subject is another.

mate one thing I know is that teaching does not allow for learning big thing I see is that when someone teach's a subject then the sole purpose is being objective but if your passionate about writing then maybe pursue it . Passion and interest should be your motivator no matter what level your at goes for anything you do in life

June 4, 2013

How about working in an NGO that offers free tuition for ample, Maths to Kid? Or anynother NGO? Working in an NGO will give you life a lot of meaning - Yould be earning some money and will also impact the lives of others.

June 4, 2013

You could put out some applications- but in the meantime, volunteer I.e work for free. NGOs take volunteering very seriously. So you might have to volunteer for a short while before you get employed.

Your CV and application should be outstanding and you should highlight your skills. If you need help, send me a message so I can assist with it. But you need to take proactive steps. You can't stay down.

June 4, 2013

It's funny you mentioned the cruise ship idea.

I just tried that as a Merchant Mariner a couple of months ago. Even got assistance to go to Orlando FL for the job's orientation.

I was declined for that job as well. Most likely because I don't have the necessary training but I'm strictly guessing on that.

Working on a cruise ship is not the same thing as being Merchant Marine. There are all kinds of different jobs on cruise ships -- many that are "unskilled" (for lack of a better word ) for which you would surely be qualified. Just think about everything that goes on on a cruise ship -- you need people to clean, waitress, bartend, work in the shops, be ushers at the shows, help the customers, etc.

I never heard of the Peace Corps or working at a national park but if they both require skills equal to being a Merchant Mariner, I can't see myself actually getting a chance there.

I don't have any idea what types of skills either require, but I doubt they are similar to the Merchant Marines. I know there are people who work at National parks who do things like pick up trash, work in gift shops, and do other types of jobs like that. Or what about working at Disneyworld or one of the other theme parks in Central Florida?

But again, rather than just writing it off, why don't you look into it? Why don't you apply? I'm just trying to come up with potential ideas. All I know is that there are tons of Help Wanted signs around Chicago looking for busboys, dishwashers, retail clerks, and fast food workers. Is it really that different in Jacksonville? I just can't believe you haven't been able to find any type of job like that in five years if you've really been putting forth an effort.

June 5, 2013

Working on a cruise ship is not the same thing as being Merchant Marine. There are all kinds of different jobs on cruise ships -- many that are "unskilled" (for lack of a better word ) for which you would surely be qualified. Just think about everything that goes on on a cruise ship -- you need people to clean, waitress, bartend, work in the shops, be ushers at the shows, help the customers, etc.

Well, when they did explain the roles of the Merchant Mariner, it was pretty much similar to what you explained.

*shrug*

I really don't know what to make of this anymore.

I don't have any idea what types of skills either require, but I doubt they are similar to the Merchant Marines. I know there are people who work at National parks who do things like pick up trash, work in gift shops, and do other types of jobs like that. Or what about working at Disneyworld or one of the other theme parks in Central Florida?

But again, rather than just writing it off, why don't you look into it? Why don't you apply? I'm just trying to come up with potential ideas. All I know is that there are tons of Help Wanted signs around Chicago looking for busboys, dishwashers, retail clerks, and fast food workers. Is it really that different in Jacksonville? I just can't believe you haven't been able to find any type of job like that in five years if you've really been putting forth an effort.

Well, fast food chains like McDonald's and Burger King basically say they are "always hiring" but yet my application basically get no response. Even when I go to them in person, they tell me they can only get the application from the higher-ups who reviews it and then pass it to them if they are willing to accept it. Of course, it's all via online applications now.

I don't know how different it is from Chicago but I wouldn't be surprised if I do get better luck in a much more successful city. Comparing Chicago and New York to Jacksonville makes Jacksonville look like a dump in comparison. I been here all of my life and I have to look hard just to find something positive concerning the city.

I still don't know how Jacksonville can even host a NFL team. I doubt I will ever find out.

Nonetheless, I will start applying for these jobs once I come back home later today.

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My life in a nutshell from a male who is considered as a failure.....

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