confused00 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 ok guys so i was with my bf for four years we were serious talked about kids and being married we lived together for the first two years but i was sick so we moved back to eachothers parents house..we did have arguements as any couple does.. he said in april 2012 he looked at engagement rings i broke up with him may 2012 he was devastated, throwing up , cried... then i realized i did want us to work i did love him we got back together end of may 2012 and then got into an arguement and he breaks up with me june 2012.. so heres the deal he started talking to girls like two weeks after we broke up but since we have broken up have never left me alone. i was devastated because i knew i truely wanted this now. he would contact me everyday ... goodmorning, goodnight sweet dreams... and ask how i was and make conversation and then in july 2012 he asked to hang out so its been back and forth since then on my part because of the other girls and in the beginning id see him and just cry and then i would get strong and tell him we shouldnt talk and then change my mind two weeks later and want to try again or he would text me and say he missed me and id be distant and then give in. I even passed out in oct and he came to visit me at the hospital.he took me out on my bday. wed always have convos and id get annoyed he doesnt know what he wants so id tell him just go be single then so a month ago i went mia this time without even telling him we shouldnt talk and then i texted him and i explain to him everytime that this happens because of the girls that i cant handle it because it doesnt feel like hes working on us he says they are just friends ... so we agree to hang out that is april 2013 he says i keep going back and forth and confusing him and everytime he feels better about us i mess it up but the thing is hes never known what hes wanted this whole time. then two weeks later he tells me its over he doesnt want to drag this out hes moving on. i tell him okay that he can drop off stuff of mine he had and i can give him his. well he doesnt make plans to do this so i texted a few days later and say when are you coming to get your stuff you said you didnt want to drag this out ( i did this because i knew id be sad and i wanted to get it over with and not let him decide oh i want to see her and hold onto the stuff for a couple months.) he said well yea ive been waiting because you will cry or be upset( but at this time i hadnt cried in front of him in a really long time. so i said no i wont and he said hed come that day which he did. so i went outside exchanged stuff one being his bday present a model car of his real life car. i did not get into his car or hug him or anything. i just said you look tan, short convo and then said well thats it and walked away i did not wave,he waited for me to get into the house. then honestly i forgot to give him something so i texted him to come back and he laughed and did he had to finish something at work so same thing gave it said sorry i forgot and said thats it this time he drove away before i was completely in house. so he texts me two hours later saying thank you for car he said he put it on top of his computer he was outside grilling and his friend was coming up and then they were going to gym and he was talking about the toy car .the next day he texted me continuing the convo and told me what he and his friend had done that night and that day i replied.... figuring after that i would go NC mode for good because he said it was done and i felt like i need to be sad and move on . so now yesterday he texted me after ten days no contact and says "do you want to see a movie one day" like wtf lol i replied howcome you want to now. and then he said just a question and i said if you make it about us and the other girls stop then we can he said what about them i didnt ask to get back toegther its just to see how i feel i replied youve said that for a year you either miss me and want it to work or you dont. and he replied lmao forget it nvm.... i dont get it and honestly im getting sick of it... i feel like in the beginning yes i hurt him but enough is enough and now its been his decision to not be together and he needs to live without me and that decision.. and also if he regrets it. I am so strong and have no urge or will to make contact or change my mind this time but id like some input as too why he is doing this. thank you guys!!!
aisuru Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Time for you to go cold hard NO CONTACT. It's hard, but it sounds like the two of you could use a break to reset the emotions/feelings/etc. You may even find you're no longer interested in. Time to take care of you and put yourself first. You don't need his shenanigans and deserve better. 1
Author confused00 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 yes its so confusing lol i do feel like im losing interest.. ive struggle because i broke up with him and then i really did want it to work then he breaks up with me and its so much more emotion because i had already had my time to decide i wanted it.
aisuru Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Yeah, now you're in a vicious cycle of pushing and pulling, which is not healthy. Personally? I'd probably lay it out and tell him, we either work this out or we need to not speak for a year. BAM. Don't make it about the other girls. Make it about the two of you and your relationship. If you're not both all in, then it's over. And you need to move on. Otherwise, you're both just going to tear each other down and destroy the relationship/friendship you have. Better to get out now with some dignity.
Author confused00 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 thats exactly how i feel im telling you lol i was soooo annoyed about that text today...i am a thinker so for the past year its been so difficult to go with my head or my heart but my head is so strong since he said it was over ten days ago... it almost felt like another breakup even tho we werent together but i have been bettering myself for this whole year getting stronger, while for him he had the mentality of im single but i still have her so now hes going to have to really see what its like to live without me. and im sticking to it!
Author confused00 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 its not even about him anymore its about me, but i guess the reason for this post was to as we cant let go.
Author confused00 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 but now i am strong enough to let go fully.
Leigh 87 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 You will find that, with relationship: you are either 100% together in a healthy and happy relationship. Or your not together and you cut contact. Anything other than being together, or cutting contact will hurt like hell. If you truly love this guy, anything less than him wanting to be with you will torture you. I have found it hard to stop texting my ex, I know how hard it is to cut contact and let go forever. It has to be done though.. We have to show them that if they do not want to be with us, than we have nothing to offer them. We have to be strong and demand respect. Allowing these men to just come into our lives in a way that suits THEM, while they know very well that we want to be with them, is showing them that we do not think very highly of ourselves. They do not think this consciously; but by allowing them to get what they want out of us, without giving us what WE need from them (a relationship), then they will lose all respect for us that they have left. Be strong. I am changing my number or blocking my ex today. They WILL keep contacting us. Trust me, guys can be jerks. Even if you tell him to leave you alone and you totally ignore him, he will probably pop up in a month or two, if he is still single and wants to use you for sex and company. I am going shopping later and I am getting the phone store to block my exes number, I hope you can take the same extreme measures. I have shared with you a little of my story in the hope that you too, can see what I see: we MUST delete these guys from our lives.
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