40 Fonzarelli Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Has anyone had a string of 1st dates that you thought went well, but they didn't want to see you again? Im beginning to wonder if im doing something wrong. Now I am super conscious of how I behave instead of relaxing and just going with the flow. Have I just hit an unlucky batch? I really wish I could see myself during the date to see how I come off. I feel I am engaging, good at conversation, funny at times, flirt, try to be physical but not too aggressive, and usually end the night with a kiss. Is this just a case of "not everyone will like you?"
SaintNick Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 Has anyone had a string of 1st dates that you thought went well, but they didn't want to see you again? Im beginning to wonder if im doing something wrong. Now I am super conscious of how I behave instead of relaxing and just going with the flow. Have I just hit an unlucky batch? I really wish I could see myself during the date to see how I come off. I feel I am engaging, good at conversation, funny at times, flirt, try to be physical but not too aggressive, and usually end the night with a kiss. Is this just a case of "not everyone will like you?" Honestly, this is such a hard question to answer because every date and every woman is different. I'm in the same boat as you are, we BOTH need to learn how to read women and each situation individually and then base the next move off of that. I'm one who loves conversation, and am, quite frankly, good at it! I think my problem is and this could be the same for you, is I want a relationship so badly that I end up trying to rush or force it and I tend to make mistakes. I have learned one thing over the past few months, you have to be happy being single before you can be happy in a relationship and truly understand the meaning behind them. Take my advice and just learn to go with the flow and do what you feel is natural. If the girl you're dating feels the same way it will be easy, but if its not, then yall arent right for each other! Good luck, it will happen for you one day my friend!
Author 40 Fonzarelli Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 Honestly, this is such a hard question to answer because every date and every woman is different. I'm in the same boat as you are, we BOTH need to learn how to read women and each situation individually and then base the next move off of that. I'm one who loves conversation, and am, quite frankly, good at it! I think my problem is and this could be the same for you, is I want a relationship so badly that I end up trying to rush or force it and I tend to make mistakes. I have learned one thing over the past few months, you have to be happy being single before you can be happy in a relationship and truly understand the meaning behind them. Take my advice and just learn to go with the flow and do what you feel is natural. If the girl you're dating feels the same way it will be easy, but if its not, then yall arent right for each other! Good luck, it will happen for you one day my friend! Thanks yea you might be right about wanting a relationship. Im really sick of being single and I think maybe they can sense it which might come off as needy.
BluEyeL Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I don't know you, but good rules of thumb for first dates are these: - strong eye contact - make her talk about herself. keep trying to find out what gets her excited and get her to talk about it. Very important. Don't talk about yourself ad nauseam. appear very interested in her. - keep your responses to her questions short and simple. - you can briefly touch her on the arm to show interest. Idk if kissing is not too much at first date. I think if it feels right, it's fine.
Phantom888 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 You need to be more sensitive about your date, and learn to read signals better. There is no way a good date would result in her not wanting a 2nd date. Women are by far more enthusiastic about a 2nd date than men are if the chemistry is there. Men seem to play it cool. I think if the conversation flows, and there is much laughter, that's a good sign. It means you are fun to be with, and easy to approach. My concern is the kiss. That is where chemistry is tested. This part is really complicated...because the wrong smell, taste, twist or timing can really mess things up. If you can't kiss right, it means you are probably not going to be a compatible sex partner later on, and women sub-consciously acknowledge this. Be sure you chew some fresh gum after dinner, and smell good all over. If it doesn't look like she wants to kiss, don't force it. Good way to tell is if you touch her during the date, and she likes it, then your kiss is likely to be welcomed. Don't over-humor her, or else you would come off like a comedian, and that's not a turn-on. Women wants someone they can be comfortable with, but at the same time, feel safe with. Best of luck.
SaintNick Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) Thanks yea you might be right about wanting a relationship. Im really sick of being single and I think maybe they can sense it which might come off as needy. Yea man, I did this VERY thing with the girl I last went on a date with. I KNOW we had chemistry, but I think I forced a kiss on her and it turned her off. I have actually learned alot from this forum over the past week, and that is, take your time, let a relationship develop. If there is chemistry up front it will develop naturally and you wont have to do anything. I'm not a frequent dater, but am trying to get into it more extensively because I want a realtionship. Being a newbie you will make mistakes, and learning from mistakes will eventually lead to a successful relationship. Do like me and keep playing the "dating" game, and you will eventually find that one special girl. I know that's what I'm gonna do, hope my advice helps! Edited May 30, 2013 by SaintNick
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 You need to be more sensitive about your date, and learn to read signals better. There is no way a good date would result in her not wanting a 2nd date. Women are by far more enthusiastic about a 2nd date than men are if the chemistry is there. Men seem to play it cool. I think if the conversation flows, and there is much laughter, that's a good sign. It means you are fun to be with, and easy to approach. My concern is the kiss. That is where chemistry is tested. This part is really complicated...because the wrong smell, taste, twist or timing can really mess things up. If you can't kiss right, it means you are probably not going to be a compatible sex partner later on, and women sub-consciously acknowledge this. Be sure you chew some fresh gum after dinner, and smell good all over. If it doesn't look like she wants to kiss, don't force it. Good way to tell is if you touch her during the date, and she likes it, then your kiss is likely to be welcomed. Don't over-humor her, or else you would come off like a comedian, and that's not a turn-on. Women wants someone they can be comfortable with, but at the same time, feel safe with. Best of luck. This is crazy. Way too much thinking. OP, stop worrying so much about the girl liking you and just do whatever you want.
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