bob the brave Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 I'm dating a girl and really like her, but some past events and personal traits I consider bothersome are starting to appear. I have caught myself rationalizing and/or ignoring them when I normally wouldn't just because I like her. What are some things you would consider 'red flag' behavior when dating someone that would make you reconsider?
Galaxias Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 You know what? Something as simple as lying about her age. What ELSE is she lying about, you know? She lets you know she's cheated in the past. Not so much "just" the cheating, but whether she takes responsibility for her behavior and has changed, or whether she's always having lunch with "a friend". She can't stand your friends. I mean, I can see if your friends are idiots, but they must have SOME saving grace if they like you, right? She likes your friends waaayy TOO much. Especially Brad. They get along a little too well...do they REALLY need to go shopping together for her new phone just because it's so convenient? She calls too much/not enough. Like she's either stalker of the week, or she only calls you when she wants something. Nothing you ever do seems like it's good enough. Like she wasn't thrilled with your birthday gift for her, even though you thought it was awesome. Or, she didn't like what you planned for your last date. Or whatever. If you sense something is wrong, and she just keeps pouting and says you should know what's wrong (this one just KILLS me) and you're like but no, I don't know, and she's like well if you don't know I'm not going to tell you. She should be able to communicate with you in a way where you don't feel judged or threatened. Red flag on YOU, maybe, is what you're looking for in a relationship. Are you just wanting a FWB? Well, that has its own rules. Are you looking for the real deal? What are you willing to compromise on to make it happen? Anyway, just some thoughts...and, of course, the usual, she doesn't seem to think giving head is the coolest thing ever. Or, she leaves her shoes in the living room.
Author bob the brave Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 Classic! I'm going to get you a cable channel. You know what? Something as simple as lying about her age. What ELSE is she lying about, you know? She lets you know she's cheated in the past. Not so much "just" the cheating, but whether she takes responsibility for her behavior and has changed, or whether she's always having lunch with "a friend". She can't stand your friends. I mean, I can see if your friends are idiots, but they must have SOME saving grace if they like you, right? She likes your friends waaayy TOO much. Especially Brad. They get along a little too well...do they REALLY need to go shopping together for her new phone just because it's so convenient? She calls too much/not enough. Like she's either stalker of the week, or she only calls you when she wants something. Nothing you ever do seems like it's good enough. Like she wasn't thrilled with your birthday gift for her, even though you thought it was awesome. Or, she didn't like what you planned for your last date. Or whatever. If you sense something is wrong, and she just keeps pouting and says you should know what's wrong (this one just KILLS me) and you're like but no, I don't know, and she's like well if you don't know I'm not going to tell you. She should be able to communicate with you in a way where you don't feel judged or threatened. Red flag on YOU, maybe, is what you're looking for in a relationship. Are you just wanting a FWB? Well, that has its own rules. Are you looking for the real deal? What are you willing to compromise on to make it happen? Anyway, just some thoughts...and, of course, the usual, she doesn't seem to think giving head is the coolest thing ever. Or, she leaves her shoes in the living room. 1
MrRightNow Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Tendency to hold grudges, short-fused, vain and self-centered, envious of others...
soccerrprp Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Little or no regard for the plight of others. Lack of empathy/sympathy and understanding for the disadvantaged and disenfranchised. Bigoted attitude. Religiously self-righteous... 2
Suave Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Smoking. I am seeing a smoker right now and have basically flat out told her that unless she quits, I will not date her exclusively. I have put up with it for now because she is attractive, but I also do not want her to change who she is just for me. She has to quit because she wants to. But it is something that I will not deal with on a regular basis.
Xinreeki Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 Bitterness!! Bitterness is one of the first red flags I notice in guys. Because bitterness leads to anger, anger leads to hate.... and hate... leads to suffering...
Phantom888 Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 I'm dating a girl and really like her, but some past events and personal traits I consider bothersome are starting to appear. I have caught myself rationalizing and/or ignoring them when I normally wouldn't just because I like her. What are some things you would consider 'red flag' behavior when dating someone that would make you reconsider? If she is past 40 and never married. RED FLAG. If she had a DUI.... If she can't count how many sex partners she has had. If she had a drug addiction. If she is still married. If she never had a career. If she is pathologically lazy. If she only likes expensive things. (Personal Experience)
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