Emily55555 Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 How do you know if a guy really likes u... everytime any guy trys to get intimate with me (more than making out) I start to think they're only like me for one reason and theyre using me or something. Every guy I've been with always trys to do more so how do i know if he really likes me. When im with a guy, kissing them is fun but everything else is just scary and i dont feel turned on at all.. Is there any guys out there who don't just want pleasure and sex? I just wish I could want to do things as much as guys do... but now it just feels wrong. I dont see the point in having a realationship when it's only based on how far a guy can get with you.. Will it always be like this.. Will one day i just wake up and i'll become comfortable with everything? I hate feeling used becuase lots of times when you do give guys what they want they just dump you after ...Im 16 and i know it's probably normal but i hate being afraid. For once i'd just want someone who likes me for me!! Sometimes guys can be soo shallow...
HokeyReligions Posted October 4, 2004 Posted October 4, 2004 At 16 I'd say it's a pretty sure thing that the majority of guys are after sex first, and an emotional connection second (nature of the beast). They were in my day too, when sex outside of marriage was taboo. It will change and you don't have to feel pressured into having sex. If they leave because they didn't 'get any' then you can look back on some (hopefully) fun dates and still have your self-respect. The world may be changing and so many young people take it for granted that sex is part of dating---but there are still a lot of teenagers and young adults who are waiting until they have confidence in a relationship and have some kind of commitment. Take your time getting to know the guys and letting them get to know you. If they like you they will stick around even without sex. If they leave - their loss and you have gained some experience that will help you in the future. I dated a guy for nine months one time and he finally got tired of me saying "no" so we broke up. I learned a lot about myself an about what I wanted in future relationships, but when we first broke up I was scared I would never find anyone who would care for ME! I found not one, but several, men who cared for me and with whom sex was more than a physical pleasure---for both of us.
jesusfist Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Yes there are decent guys out there, i'm proof of that. The problem is the age of these guys, i'm 17 almost 18 and the idea of just getting laid is almost absent from my mind i'd seriously prefer a great relationship with a girl and only move onto more intimate things when both peoples are ready or feel comfortable to do so. Although i've never been in a relationship with a girl, guess nice guys come last. so anyway...just wait a year till all these fools grow up, or get to really know a guy before you even kiss him you might actually be suprised that not all guys just want to get in a girls pants
Papillon Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Sex is good. Women turn men on. Men want to get hot and sweaty with gals. It's a fact of life. What irritates me is when women overanalyse this and try to seperate the whole deal into emotional vs. physical. What would you rather have? That he only wanted you for your mind but wasn't interested in your body, or... that he only wanted you for your body but wasn't interested in your mind. Which is worse? I think both suck, BIG TIME, but women seem to think the former is preferable. And when a guy wants to get down, OBVIOUSLY he must be the latter, then C'mawn...give the guy a break. A nice guy who wants your bod but who is going to get the cold shoulder from you, sexually, is gonna disappear. Sorry, that's the way it is. Relationships are supposed to be holistic.
hurricane495 Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Im 26 have a wonderful son am divorced of a year very mature and Make good money I am currently single and I know how to treat a woman I open car doors buy flowers and Give them the love and affection the need Sex is GREAT but it comes last in my opinion I have lived lifes lessons and If your ever In massachusetts give me a call Ill take you out once so you can see what a real man is like.Keep looking you will find them But dont always look for looks Its not always what it seems to be
Naive Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Maybe the reason why you don't feel a connection or an urge to be in a relationship with the type of guys you mentioned is because they are not the right one for you and/or you are not ready for that (which is great). Don't worry there are many good guys out there, you just have to be patient. You're only 16, you have a long time to find the right guy. Just remember, don't do what you feel is not right. Have fun and date. One day you'll find someone who will want you for more than just sex (but of course he will also want THAT) and will give you the respect that you deserve.
hurricane495 Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 your only 16? Woah well then forget lookin me up for a date haha but dont worry you got your whole life ahead of you just be patient you will meet Mr Right
Naive Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 Originally posted by hurricane495 your only 16? Woah well then forget lookin me up for a date haha but dont worry you got your whole life ahead of you just be patient you will meet Mr Right I opted to not make a comment to your prior post because it really grossed me out, so it's nice to know it was a mistake
wing81 Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 I would suggest looking other places for guys. Sometimes it is the shy ones that can give you more of what you want. They are certainly more appreciative. I know I can be shy and I try to make up for my insecurities it by trying to make the person I'm with feel special, which isn't always accomplished by trying to get into their pants. If you are looking for more of an emotional connection try different school clubs where you can find things in common to talk about and go on from there. Both types of guys are out there its just a matter of looking hard enough for the right one.
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