Thoughts On My Being Dumped Story

[Ryanic]

BTW Sorry in advance this is going to be very long and I hope you read it all because I REALLY need to hear some feedback from other people,

 

Alright I'm never much for these online dating forums... but I've exhausted everyone i can talk to in my life as they're all sick of hearing about it... but anyways here's my breakup story...

 

Me and my ex girlfriend started dating half way through our senior year of high school. She was my first relationship and i was her first real relationship. Everything was amazing for the first year of our relationship together. We both lost our virginity together over that first summer. Before we even started liking each other we both applied and got accepted into the same college so after the first 8 months of being together we both went to college at the same university. We both struggled finding friends but eventually we both found a mutual friend group that we both shared.

 

At about a year and 2-3 months our relationship started to get a little bumpy.. we had pointless fights etc... we had a few bad fights but we both realized our mistakes and moved on. I feel at around this time her parents just first started to not care for me much (before the year and 2-3 month period they liked me a lot).. anyways we finished out our first year of college together and went into our second summer together. More fights started happening..little fights but they were frequent. (She never wanted to talk about them and i always pushed to talk because i felt like we never accomplished anything if we didn't talk but pushing only made her more angry).

 

Over that second summer we made some great memories though. Her parents started to dislike me more and more. Towards the end of that second summer she wanted to break up with me but she decided against it after i promised to change some (I was always very negative about everything and wanted to hang out with her 24/7 and such) Anyways we started out second year of college together... I lived in a on campus apartment with two of our mutual guy friends and she lived two apartment doors down the hall with three random girls. The first semester went well for us relationship wise... we still had stupid fights frequently and i pushed to talk and it made her more angry. Her parents really didn't like me at this point. Winter break came and we hung out quite a bit...

 

I was kind of content with my relationship with her but i still really really loved her deep down i just didn't go out of my way to prove it as much anymore. We both got lazy with the relationship. So around mid march (By this time we have been dating for two years and two months) Things got rough... Same bunch of stupid small fights etc.. but in very early April we had an extremely dumb fight (Me scaring her to the point where she cried (I didn't intend for that to happen i was just trying to be funny) and that scare turned into a talk about me not giving her enough gas money when i used her car to drive 200 miles to take a drug test for a job..anyways it turned into a mega fight..) (Also i got very stingy with my money in second year college and that caused a few fights)

 

But anyways she basically told me she needed time alone for that night and for the next few days... that weekend she went home and she talked to her mom (who disliked me a lot at this point, she told my ex a few times before all this that i wasn't good for her and she should be out seeing new people) but anyways i was super sick to my stomach the three days she didn't talk to me and when she came back late Saturday night she broke up with me. She said she was just content with me and cared about me but didn't really love me anymore that much... she said she was sorry and would do what ever i needed to make this easier on me. I was heart broken because even though i was content, I also still really loved her.

 

But now I'm going to basically summarize all the stuff I did wrong after the breakup. I did the whole plead and bug her to come back, the write her a note and to tell her id changed etc... i did this all within the first week it was bad i know... but also within the first week she started to miss cuddling with me but I screwed up the chance to by ignoring her texts etc so she finally got pissed at me and told me she was over that feeling... later that night though i went over to her room and helped her study for an exam and when i left i hugged her and kissed her forehead. The weekend after she broke up with me we both went home (not together but we both went home to our parents houses) When we got back she gave me back all the diamond jewelry I've bought her over our relationship.

 

I was devastated and thought id lose her forever so i talked with her then and basically said id change/i want to start a new relationship with you and not rekindle the old one.. i pleaded again etc.. she said she just cant and that shes sorry but we were too different for each other (I agree my negativity brought her down a lot and she wasn't as happy as when we first started dating etc). I asked her if she saw a change in me if shed give me a second chance and she said idk. I also called her our on the her missing me that one night and she responded back with i only miss the physical and i can get that from any other guy. I then gave her the next week alone (an important thing to note is we shared a class together and we ate lunch together m w f and on tu thur we ate with our mutual group of friends) during these first two weeks we still ate together and such...

 

On the third weekend after the breakup i found out she wanted to go out and drink to forget about me and some drama that rose from the breakup (she was the anti christ when it came to drinking while i dated her btw) her mom and her very bad influence roommate wanted her to drink and have "fun". It was only like the third time she ever drank and she threw up everywhere at a bowling alley they went to....i found out about it on my birthday (that Sunday) and on Monday i talked to her about it at lunch but didn't discourage it... We just talked calmly about her experience and my first drinking times. But anyways i left her alone again for the week minus seeing her in class and making casual convo on our walk to class...

 

The fourth weekend after we broke up i started to notice she started hanging out with her bad influence roommate at her roommates bfs apartment a lot... and basically i found out on the following Monday she was over at her roommates bfs apartment with her roommates bfs roommate alone... i found out that my exs roommate wanted and hoped she would have slept with the kid/did things with him... she didn't that night but basically.. i was devastated finding this out... more drama happened she stopped eating lunch with me and our mutual friends which she didn't consider friends anymore for reasons... she basically befriended her roommates and her roommates bfs roommates. They all drank and stuff and are bad influences. So for like week 5-7 i noticed she was always gone from her room and she was always over at that kids apartment (i believe she slept over there a few nights idk though) she started texting a lot in class and i saw her and the guy and her roommates etc all hanging out/walking around campus.

 

She was wearing the kids hat etc. (she obviously started to like him...but hes like a major downgrade from me and is a little sh*t (He apparently came to my apartment while i was at work one night to try and start sh*t with me) but anyways i was so emotionally screwed up from all this information that it was really hard for me to follow the no contact rule.. and i sometimes spoke with her after our class but i didn't text her anymore...she got so fed up with me not giving her space that her dad told me to leave her the fu*k alone over a text.. but before that happened i told her i wanted to talk with her about what has happened the last month one time after class and she blew me off etc.. She told me she had no feelings for me anymore and that I needed to move the fu*k on with my life. She didn't feel like she needed to talk to me. This happened on May 2nd and she broke up with me April 6th.

 

But anyways school ended May 17th and she never made eye contact with me when she saw me in the halls/in our apartment hallway. If i waved at her she wouldn't wave back etc. But now schools been out for almost two weeks and she removed me from her friends list this past Monday.

 

I assume she is still talking with the kid as he liked her profile picture change on facebook and shes liked his profile banner picture update... she is still texting her bad influence ex roommate now too, shes going to be visiting her this Saturday for a late birthday get together probably (Most likely going to be drinking)... idk i still love her to death... i feel like she was the one i know its cliche but i still love her a lot. She was definitely out of my league and i guess I'm scared i wont find another girl as gorgeous as her or a girl that loved me for who I was (From the very beginning I was always 100% calm around here and I've never been like that with any girl before). Its been almost two months now (It will be on June 6th). I have not texted her in four weeks and the last verbal contact i had was saying goodbye and hope you have a nice summer on move out day May 17th.

 

I have a feeling she did stuff with that kid already... and that she likes him a lot now... she wants to move on and forget about me and i don't think she even wants to give me a second chance. I want a second chance still but I'm still iffy because if she did do stuff with that kid ill see her as tainted... idk... i love her and i still think about her all the time but it has subsided some. I was thinking about sending her a hows it going text next week but idk.... i feel like there is so much hatred towards me and her wanting to completely forget me now that she will just blow me off or tell me to leave her alone. I don't want her to be the one that got away from me. Do you think she removed me from facebook because shes completely done/over me or do you think it's because she was sick of seeing my posts... The night she removed me from facebook I uploaded some photos of my modifications I did to my new used car and a picture of my northern pike I caught off my dock (I live at my summer house on a lake during the summer, and that's were most of the memories we have together come from, we fished a lot together and maybe her seeing that made her remember some stuff and forced her to remove me)

 

After college got out i really didn't go on fb much and only posted those photos I just mentioned. She removed my mom also but kept two of my brothers... idk i want to try and get her back but part of me doesn't... but the part that does is still very strong and makes me really want to try to get her back. She has made 0 attempts at talking to me besides the first week after the breakup. and every time i tried to talk to her within the later half of the breakup she blew me off... i know this new "guy" was a rebound but idk.... i still love her a lot... i just wish she'd at least let me talk to her on a casual every once and awhile thing to try and swoop in under the radar but... sigh

 

One last thing... while we were dating her younger brother got me a job where he works as a food runner/busser... at the same place her mom works in the HR department and my ex works in the HR department some days to help file paper work for her mom... ill be seeing her brother pretty often as he is going to be kind of my superior in a way at the job and i may see my exs mom and even my ex at the work place.. maybe... just thought id throw that in there too. i know you're going to say move on and i know i should but I'm not going to be fully able to until i try to get her back at least with one good attempt...i cant just let her slip away i was always so happy in the relationship even when we fought i was.never put off by our fights.... I went to counseling while i was in college during the breakup and I've learned a lot about myself in the process... i have changed quite a bit since the breakup for the better too.

 

I feel like it's too late to try to win her back and they I pushed her so far away. Also that shes infatuated with this new guy, she will just blow me off. I know It's pointless to try to get her back when shes infatuated with a new guy but Idk what to do. Being at my summer home is killing me because there are sooooo many memories together here. What are you opinions/thoughts of what I should do. I can't randomly "bump" into her because I live 30 minutes away from our hometown and I only go to my hometown to work one of my two jobs once a week. The other job is with her younger brother and such.

 

But yeah, that's my very long story, I really hope you read it and can leave some opinions...I really need someone to give me feedback...this is killing me.

[Ryanic]

Come on people, i really need to hear someones opinion/thoughts... i cant talk to any of my friends or family anymore. Theyre all sick of hearing it from me....

[Elias18]

Ryanic, my advice is very simple maybe a little blunt. Move on brother, she is didn't remove your fb account because of the memories. She removed your account because you are stalking her all the time, she is fed up and want you to shut up. Your ex is with a new guy, maybe it's a rebound or maybe it's not, but it's not your problem. She not communicating to you sends a powerful message: LEAVE ME ALONE! I know it's very difficult for you, but remember if she start to miss you she will contact you. Go into straight NC and go work on yourself, get a new job, get some new friends and go out a lot. Time will make things better Ryanic, it's very difficult but you must regain your sanity!

[aisuru]

That's a really long post and I'll be honest, you lost me at "high school."

 

I'm in a different place in life (I could be your mother) and have found that the posters in your place in life aren't as receptive to my advice.

 

My advice: move on and go no contact. Take care of yourself and continue to work at being a better person.

[Ryanic]

I don't feel like it was to unhealthly, the only thing unhealthy was that her parents didn't care for me and I didn't try enough to maintain a relationship with her parents lol. And also that I was negative all the time and it kind of brought her down, but I'm changing and I haven't been as negative as much as I used to be.

 

And how would she have known I was looking at her facebook all the time? I never liked anything or anything or said anything to anyone she knows about stuff I saw on her facebook...I honestly believe she removed me from facebook because she was sick of seeing my profile picture/she wants to completely move on and such.

 

And I do have a new job haha (Go figure but I'm working with her younger brother, and I might see her mom there too since she works in the HR department of the place lol)... I am working on myself...it makes me feel good about myself.

 

And I know if she misses me she will contact me but I know she wont lol....I know she wont even contact me but I feel like if I talk to her at a time where she is willing to at least hold a few text conversation with me that maybe she'll start to talk to me again on a casual basis.. Haha...Yeah I'm pathetic still I know... It's been very hard for me, It was easier to some degree in college because I had my friends around me (Our mutual friends that she gave up) but here back in my hometown I never had any friends that i maintained since highschool so I have no one to hang out/go places to meet new people. The only place I can meet people is at my new job which are all pretty much good friends with my exs younger brother sooooooo thats not to likely either haha.