lingardx Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 me and this guy, we will call him K have been going out for (in july) two years, we haven't had the easiest of relationships and i've lied to him twice, about who i have been with and where i have been. i know i done wrong so i don't need a lecture. but anyway, one of K's friend. we will call him A told me that he'd liked me, K fell out with A over this because it's a friend code thing that you just don't do that. A started to pursue me around like a lost puppy. and one day i gave in and decided to meet him for less than an hour to hear what he had to say. i felt bad for ignoring him and acting cold hearted. when we departed i gave him a hug. a friend of both A and K's (J) had seen this hug as we were stood talking - me J and A. this was on the 18th of may anyway i didn't tell K that i had seen A or hugged him. i guess i wanted to protect my own back and didn't want K to leave me or be hurt by me meeting him. by this time A was annoyed that i was never going to be his gf so he told my friends that i had slept with him, and these rumours circulated round until they got to K. K asked me when the last time I had seen A was and i'd lied about it, he then said he knew i'd seen A and that i hugged him and J confirmed that he'd seen us both this was about 5am on sunday, K hasn't replied to any of my texts since then - am i to assume this relationship is over? or are we on a break? or what? anybody know? (highlighted in bold because i want your honest opinions) does anybody have any advice on how i can get K to speak to me, i did send him three texts on sunday, none on monday, two on tuesday and none today. he just won't process anything i am saying to him even though this time i am telling the truth. any advice?
crederer Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 You can't do anything to get him to talk to you. You betrayed him. It's up to him now whether or not you'll ever speak to him again. Also, this other dude sounds like a total derp. Obviously a loser. I hope you learn from this experience. I'm assuming you're quite young by the content of your post. 1
todreaminblue Posted May 29, 2013 Posted May 29, 2013 (edited) when you lie to someone its hard for them to believe you when you tell the truth.....which sort of sucks right because you are telling the truth...but when you really want someone to believe lies you tell, its hard when you are just as sincere telling the truth..your guy not only has to deal with lies from you but from this other guy too which are far more hurtful ones....how is he to know who is lying.....let him find his own way to the truth....he at the moment, just cant tell what is real truth.......and may not be ready to discuss what is or isnt.....true that is why honesty rocks........you can be yourself, and feel confident in all you say....and when others lie abotu you he would have naturally believed you...and you would know for sure lies told abotu you or by you, wont bite you in the butt.......you are young...you made a few mistakes.you have learned ..........now....you need to give this guy time and space to work out what he is feeling about you adn what is truth and what is not...if he comes back.....you know to be honest from now on....if he doesnt.......then that something you can deal with too.......dont stress...what is done is done....now its all up to him ....stay strong.....be remorseful....and know this,the truth always comes out...hugs....deb Edited May 29, 2013 by todreaminblue
Author lingardx Posted May 31, 2013 Author Posted May 31, 2013 thanks for both of your advice. I know that my ex/bf is pee'd at the moment as he has been betrayed. I got a mutual friend to text him and see how he is. he replied he's good but seen better days, the friend then asked how come, my ex/bf replied me and sandra are finished, the friend replied again saying did you finish it, and the ex/bf replied yeah but it's not official yet I just can't deal with her lies. I haven't text him since tuesday - I don't like NC though, I don't want him to think that because I'm not trying to contact him that these rumours are true. Anyway I had some good news today and he was the first person I thought of to share it with. So I tried phoning him and he didn't answer. I text him saying something like, just wanted to share my good news with you. can you call back when you're free or is there a better time that I can call you. I guess there wasn't as he didn't reply to that text either. Sigh A few more days of NC or limited contact and I will try again. I know I can't keep trying though but I know I've extremely hurt him and it should be up to me to do the leg work. Any other advice? I was thinking of writing a letter. To deeply explain why I lied, why I felt I had to. Not making any excuses and accepting that my lies are the consequences of what's happened. Do you think this is a good idea? all advice however harsh, welcome
Author lingardx Posted June 1, 2013 Author Posted June 1, 2013 anyone online to give me some advice? really feeling down tonight
TaraMaiden Posted June 1, 2013 Posted June 1, 2013 I was thinking of writing a letter. To deeply explain why I lied, why I felt I had to.... Lied to him.... What, that you lied to him this time, or the previous times too? Take the hint. He's dumped you. Move on, leave him alone, quit and accept it.
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