i have finally learned:) bye bye ex

[jehcann]

well ive been having problems accepting the fact that my ex moved on, because i believed we're soulmates and no matter what i told myself i would hold on to him. the relationship with his ex will not work especially now because she's comparing us and the relationship that me and her bf had. it's something they will never have and it's eating away at her. well after everything that happened last night (his ex which is his new gf unblocking me from his fb account and creeping on me from his account and messaging me after 16 days NC) i realized that i can do so much better. i'm sweet, loving caring, loyal, respectful, honest, im a great person. she's completely the opposite of me. last night just really showed me how dirty this girl completely is. it's one thing breaking up a happy relationship, she herself knows he was happy BEYOND happy. she told me numerous times she's so glad he finally found someone to be good to him and treat him right (no one understands why he changed his mind) but it's another thing to pretend to be my ex and send me a friend request and creep on my stuff. and message me and trying to talk like what more does she want? it just really showed me that this is completely childish, i can do so much better. i dont want to be with someone who thinks doing stuff like that is ok. it's obvious she hasnt changed or even grown since their relationship and he's completely stupid for even trying again which she showed that last night. it just really made me realize that im to good for a guy like that and i dont want to be with a guy like that. im almost 23 i want to settle down, get married and live my life. i dont want to be with someone who just ups and leaves me out of the blue to be with some horrible person. i lost every bit of respect i had for him last night and he'll never get it back.

 

i thank god i got with him because he showed me how amazing i truly am and he showed me what love is really like and how a relationship is suppose to be. the relationship showed me that i am loveable that just because im a bigger girl doesnt mean i cant have that magical feeling that i deserve. he helped me grow into a much better person and i think that's what i was suppose to get out of it. it got to a point where i quit growing as a person and i think god said ok youre time with him is done. i couldnt move on no matter what a part of me was still deeply in love with him. god had to show me another lesson which is why he did what he did last night. im a full believer that he had to hurt me in order to show me that letting go is what i need. i mean i was getting over it but a part of me still believed that one day he would come back and i still prayed every day for him to come back. i now have no hopes of the relationship, i love him as a person because he honestly changed my life and i cant hate someone who did that. ill never shed another tear over this man, ill never pray another prayer for this man containing us. but he'll always be important to me.

 

in the past 17 days i have grown so much, probably more then i have in the past 22 years and it makes me happy. it makes me cry happy tears. my ex taught me that i can do anything if i put my mind to do it, his friends and family taught me that im truly something special and i shouldnt let my weight hold me back. that's something ive always let hold me. but now i see im so strong and im only going to continue to become stronger. my ex honestly made a mistake in letting me go and if it wasnt for that mistake i wouldnt be doing such amazing things right now. i wouldnt be as happy as i am right now. sometimes bad things happen to good people and at the time we dont realize how good of a thing it really is because it hurts us. it's not bad things happening it's good things and if it wasnt for last night i would have not learned that. sometimes we spend so much time looking at the pain and hurt we dont realize that there is another door behind it and it has happiness written all over it all we have to do is walk through it.